Blurring The Lines
by popcan11
Summary: *Sequel to Only One* We were a team. Despite who the four of us were before the arena, we were now a unit, forever tied together by an unbreakable bond, a concrete foundation. We were strong, we were brave, we were the rebels. Gadge/Everlark
1. Chapter 1

I ran my fingers over the fabric of the thin comforter on the bed. Back and forth, back and forth. It was repetitive, yes. But somehow, it kept my mind far away from everything else going on. Somehow, it kept me from disappearing entirely. I heard the squeak of the door and knew who it was. His footsteps were soft on the floor as he made his way over to my bed before lying beside me. He never laid close enough so that we were touching, but he was never far enough away that it felt like we were strangers. Peeta sighed softly and I turned my head to face him.

"Morning." I said.

He smiled at me. "Morning, Madge."

And then, like he had done everyday for the past week, he began our little game. It was simple, really. Just like we had done in the cave, we asked each other about our various favorite things. Favorite food, color, activity... I had hardly left my bed since I learned the news of my fathers death but Peeta slipped in every morning and night to play this game with me. It kept us both sane. We didn't ask each other about our feelings. He didn't look at me like I was some pathetic puppy, like the rest of the people in the bomb shelter did. Instead, we played the game of favorites. And it distracted us both from all the real hurt and pain inside. But it was a welcomed distraction, nonetheless.

"Favorite time of day?" Peeta asked me, looking up at the bottom of the top bunk that was above us.

"Night time. Everybody is so... vulnerable at night, you know? And they tell you things they probably wouldn't tell you in the daytime. It's like being drunk, almost."

Peeta laughed. "Have you ever been drunk?"

I shook my head with a smirk. "Well, no... but peoples minds are wide open when they're drunk. Nighttime is sort of like that." I said with a soft smile. "What's your favorite time of day?"

"Morning. Especially when you wake up before the rest of the world. Everything is so quiet and relaxing and everyday is like a brand new start, you know? You can decide to be whoever you want to be. You can change from the person you were yesterday, if you want to. I like that."

I closed my eyes. This was why I liked Peeta so much. He always said things in such a way that made me relax, made me feel at peace, at ease. The times he came in and laid with me were the only times that I almost felt... okay. The impact of my father's death had left me empty. I didn't feel anything. I didn't even feel sadness. I hadn't cried, which was odd considering all the times I cried in the arena. Trust me, I had tried to cry. Nothing came out. I could barely even scream into my pillow. Nothing was inside of me. I was drained of my emotions. I didn't know how to move on or keep living. All I knew was that I liked the feeling of my comforter underneath my fingertips and leaving my bed sounded impossible every morning.

"There's eggs for breakfast. Do you want me to bring you some?" Peeta asked me.

I shook my head. "No, I'm okay."

"You need to eat eventually, Madge. And sleep." He said softly.

He was right. I had barely ate all week and I had gotten even less sleep. I was a robot just going through the motions. My mother would come into our room throughout the day and talk to me but seeing her face just reminded me of my father. I knew she was trying to be strong for me. I didn't want her to have to. I wanted everything and everyone to be okay.

"Favorite subject in school." I asked him quickly to change the subject.

"Hmm..." Peeta began, "I suppose Art. You?"

"Music." I said. But then, the thought made me think of my father and I didn't want to be reminded of him or his death. So, I changed the subject again. "Favorite way to avoid pain?"

"Hide it under layers and layers of far more manageable emotions." Peeta whispered. Then he gave my hand a little pat before sitting up. "I need to go, though. There's a meeting."

There had been meetings all week. On what to do about the slowly turning districts, what to do about the Capitol, what to do about Gale... I had stayed far away from anything involving Gale all week. I didn't watch the president's announcements anymore. I didn't want to hear Gale's betrayal any longer. It wasn't his fault. The Capitol had turned him that way but it still wasn't something I enjoyed watching. It was hard to see the face of the man I had fallen for but have his words be dirty lies fed to him by the Capitol.

"Katniss will be there." I said simply.

Peeta sighed and then looked down at me. He nodded his head slowly. "Yeah, she will. She always is."

It didn't take a genius to see that something was terribly wrong between Peeta and Katniss as of lately. You could cut the tension with a knife. Peeta didn't say much about it, but it was obvious that a wall had been built between them. I still wasn't exactly sure why or what had caused it but Peeta knew. I could see it in the way he looked at her, with a new found sadness that hadn't be there before. Watching them interact now was like watching a room slowly begin to burn.

"Well, have fun in there. I'll be right here in my warm bed. For the rest of my life." I commented.

Peeta smirked. "We'll see. I'll check on you later." He said as he got up and headed towards the door. He reached for the handle and then spun back around and called, "Oh, and eat something!" before walking out.

I sighed and threw my head back into my pillow. I was hungry. But I couldn't eat. I would put food in my mouth and chew and then all the sudden, when I went to swallow, I didn't feel hungry anymore. And the very thought of my putting food in my already sick and churning stomach made me spit out my meal. I couldn't sleep. I would close my eyes and see flashes of Gale, my father, my life before the games and all this madness and then I would jolt awake, afraid to ever close my eyes again. It had been a long week, to say the least.

I heard stumbling outside of my door and sat up at the commotion. More curious than anything else, I opened my door just enough to see what was happening. I found a unstable Haymitch trying to find his way into his room. He was, of course, drunk. From the bags under his eyes, I suppose he was just now getting to bed.

"It's seven-thirty in the morning, Haymitch. And you have a meeting." I said through the few inches that I had opened the door.

He held onto the wall for support and glanced in my direction. He squinted, to figure out who I was, and then smiled. "Hey, Madge! Haven't seen your face in a long time, princess."

I rolled my eyes and opened the door completely, stepping out into the hall. I crossed my arms over my chest as I studied the man before me. He drank to forget the nightmares, to forget the pain. Could I drink to forget everything too? I grabbed his arm and pulled him down into a sitting position, so he was leaning against the wall. I sat next to him and closed my eyes. It was silent for a minute and somehow, I welcomed Haymitch's drunk company. Maybe because as I had told Peeta, I enjoyed vulnerability.

"Can I have a drink, Haymitch?" I asked him quietly.

I heard him snort. "A drink from my flask would knock you out dead."

"Good." I said quickly.

I heard him swear. "Don't say that. Don't talk like that."

I laughed a short, cold laugh. "Why not, Haymitch? It's true. I wish I was dead. It would be easier than this."

"Because it's a selfish thing to want. You're leaving behind too many people." He said in his slurred voice.

"Then let me drink if you won't let me die." I said through gritted teeth.

"No." He said sharply, his voice suddenly sounding sober. His eyes met mine and he whispered, "I won't let you end up like me."

I let out a groan and slammed my head back into the wall. "Does it at least make the pain go away?"

It was Haymitch's turn to laugh coldly. "Not in the least bit, princess. It just dulls it for a little while. As soon as you're sober again, the pain is right back, ready to greet you."

We didn't speak for a long time. We just sat side by side, on the dusty ground of the hallway. I thought maybe Haymitch was just being quiet but when I glanced over at him, I saw that he had fallen asleep. This normally would've made me mad but I was starting to see him in a new light.

Now I understood why he drank so much. In that moment, I wanted to drink too. I wanted to drink and drink and wash it all away. Yes, it only dulled the pain for a little while but that sounded better than the constant throbbing that I was experiencing in my chest. I patted his hand in the same way Peeta had done to me earlier and stood to my feet.

I tiptoed down the hallway and made sure nobody was in the main room before I raced across it to get to the bathroom. My life had turned into a series of avoiding people at all cost. I shut the door behind me and stood in the mirror, staring at myself. Except it didn't look like myself. Blood-shot, empty eyes. Colorless cheeks, chapped lips. I wasn't the girl I was three weeks ago when I entered the arena. I wasn't the same girl I was before Gale was abducted. I wasn't the same girl I was before my father was shot to death. I wasn't the same, plain and simple. And whoever I was in the past, I knew I could never return to her. The old Madge, the one who was patient and sure and kind, she was long gone. This new Madge, hindered with hollow pain and deafening sadness, buried alive with grief and shame, she was here to stay.

A pair of scissors sitting below the sink caught my eye. I picked them up and found my fingers weaving through the loops, I found myself holding a piece of hair between the blades while I stared straight into the mirror. The girl I was before the arena was gone. And because of that, I heard the clip of the scissors and watched as a piece of my wavy, blond hair fell to the floor of the bathroom. ___Clip, clip clip._I cut my hair as short as my chin, giving myself a bob. I had careful hands from years playing the piano and I was pretty precise as well. When it was all said and done, it looked rather straight. I had done a pretty good job. I stared back in the mirror and smiled. This made more sense. The past was now completely forgotten, fading away for good.

I swept up my fallen hair into my hand and stuffed it into the trash can. I walked out of the bathroom and back into my bedroom. With every pounding step, I knew I was never looking back.

* * *

"We now know he's being kept in the west wing of the president's mansion." Finnick announced. We were having our daily morning meeting. Haymitch was missing in action so it only consisted of me, Finnick, Peeta, and Gale's mother, Hazelle, who insisted on being part of the meetings, although she never spoke.

"Okay," I said, when a long, awkward silence went by. I definitely needed Haymitch here to fill the silences. "So, how do we get to him?"

Finnick drew a quick sketch on a piece of paper. "If we go in through the back garden, we can cut through the kitchen to get to the east wing. It's a series of rooms and although we have no idea which room exactly, we can spread out once we reach that point."

I sighed and pressed my fingers to my temple in the same way that Haymitch would do. I had only know him for a week and I was already beginning to understand him, figure him out. "What's to stop us from getting shot to death like Mayor Undersee?"

I saw Peeta sigh dramatically out of the corner of my eye. I stared at him. "Do you have a problem, Peeta?"

He didn't even take his eyes of the table when he answered in a bland, hollow voice, "No, Katniss."

This was how it had been between Peeta and I. We didn't speak to each other outside of these meetings really. When we did have to interact, it was like this. Tense, short, cold. Like we were barely even friends. Like we were barely anything at all. I missed him. I had yet to figure out what had went oh so wrong between our last kiss in the arena and the present. Because somewhere along the lines, I did something wrong.

Finnick's voice brought our attention back to him. "We are going in fully armed, Katniss. We will be prepared to fight, obviously."

"I just don't see the point in this." Peeta mumbled. He hardly ever spoke in these meetings. We all eyed him curiously. He looked up and shrugged his shoulders. "Well, I don't." He said defensively.

"Care to elaborate?" I snapped.

"Why are we trying so hard to get Gale back? He has been brainwashed. He won't want to come back and forcing him against his will won't do anyone any good. He will probably end up shooting us all. Or, he will escape and run back to the Capitol to tell them where we've been hiding. I just don't see what good this will do." He said nonchalantly.

I rolled my eyes. "Oh, right. So, we should leave him at the Capitol to rot away and turn into a robot."

"Well, bringing him back is more dangerous than anything else." Peeta said calmly, narrowing his eyes at me.

"What about Madge?" I asked him.

He slammed his hands down on the table. "You think this is what she wants, Katniss? This Capitol-coated version of Gale? You really think that's the guy she fell in love with?" He yelled.

"I don't know, why don't you tell me! _You're_ the one who has been spending so much time with her. Everybody sees you sneaking into her room all the time." I said, with an edge of jealousy to my voice. I knew nothing romantic was going on between them. I mean, that was a given. I guess I was just upset that Peeta was confiding in her as a friend and not me.

He shook his head at me slowly, a look of disbelief and disgust crossing over his expression. "She needs a friend right now. Her father just died, Katniss. Don't turn this into a battle against her because you're jealous."

I snorted. "Oh, please. Don't flatter yourself. I'm _not _jealous." I lied.

"Do you even _care_ about Madge?"

I held up my hands. "Of course I care! That's why I'm fighting so hard to bring Gale back!"

"Or is it just another way to prove to yourself that you're fearless? You can save Gale and then feel brave once again. Is that it?" He asked, his glare piercing me from across the metal table. As soon as the words left his lips, he closed his eyes and swallowed. Regret.

I fell silent at this. So, this is what Peeta thought of me? That I didn't do things to help people, but did them for my own personal gain. So I could prove to myself that I was strong and brave? This realization hurt. A lot.

"Katniss, I didn't mean to-"

I stood up from the table quickly, refusing to take my eyes off of Peeta as I interrupted him. "If you would have been taken instead of Gale, I doubt you would want us all to sit here and do nothing about it. At least _pretend _like you care and show him some respect." I turned on my heel and marched towards the exit.

I stood in the door frame for a moment before whipping back around. "One more thing." I said, staring at the boy I used to call my best friend, "_You_ of all people have always told me I'm brave, Peeta. If I've been trying to prove anyone right, it's been you." I said weakly before walking out of the room and slamming the door with all my might.

My feet started to run on their own accord. I wanted to get as far away from Peeta and this entire place as possible. I raced down the hallway and up the dirty stairwell and pushed open the door that led to the outside. The sun was bright and hurt my eyes. I hadn't been outside in over a week. I had forgotten how much I craved the outdoors, how I felt like I couldn't breathe when I was trapped inside, deep underground.

Finnick had told me our bomb shelter was outside of one of the districts. I didn't really know what that meant but he had been very vague about it and I had gotten the impression I wasn't supposed to press the issue. Nothing but open woods surrounded me and it brought me back to the arena. A twist in my stomach kept my feet glued to the ground. I didn't want to explore these woods. I would be too afraid a tribute would pop out and kill me.

Instead, I sat down right next to the door and closed my eyes. Peeta was slipping away from me. Gale was long gone. Who would I lose next? Prim? My mother? I knew I had no room to complain. Madge had lost her father and Gale.

I also knew I needed to have a talk with her. I knew I needed to explain how to handle it, the grief of losing your father, but I didn't know what to say or when to say it. She had been locked away in her room all week and was probably trying to avoid thoughts of him entirely. I didn't need to be throwing it back in her face, telling her how to move on. Because you can't really move on from it. It never leaves you. Traces of him still haunt your daily life, you feel him pumping through your bloodstream and though the ache dulls, it never fully fades away.

A pair of footsteps sounded. The door creaked. I turned my head, expecting to see Peeta. But it wasn't. It was Finnick. He gave me an awkward smile. "It's against the rules to be out here, you know."

"It's against the rules to bomb arenas and steal the tributes, too." I replied. I heard him let out a deep laugh as he sat beside me and I suppressed a smile myself.

He sighed and brought his knees up, resting his hands on them. "Peeta was pretty hard on you in there."

I shrugged my shoulders, like it was nothing. "It just surprised me is all. I've never heard him talk like that to me."

Finnick nodded. "Obviously, there's something under the surface with him. You just need to figure out what it is."

Something had been eating away at me. Something I thought Finnick would be able to answer for me. "Do you think I love him, Finnick?" I glanced at the ground to avoid further embarrassment.

"I think..." He began quietly, "that love is a funny thing. And sometimes, it crashes up against you like a tidal wave, sweeping you off your feet. Other times, it just tickles your feet at the shoreline, you know. Like, it happens slowly. I guess it's up to you to decide if that water has reached you yet. Or if it ever will reach you."

"Have you ever been in love? I mean, besides whispering into the beautiful Captiol ladies ears at night?" I teased lightly.

He smirked but then licked his lips nervously. His eyes locked with mine as he answered. "I have only been in love once... I still am. I always will be." He said dreamily.

"Where is she? What's her name? Is she from the Captiol?" I asked all this quickly. I couldn't believe it. The famous Finnick O'dair was in love.

He shook his head. "She's from home... you might know her, actually. Surely, you've heard of her, anyways. Annie."

My jaw hung open on its own accord. "Annie Cresta? The victor of the 70th games?"

He nodded his head. "That's her."

Of course I had heard about Annie. She went mad in the games! Purely mad. She had been locked away in the district ever since because she was deemed as clinically insane. It was only a few years ago, actually. I had seen her around before then. She had long dark hair, like myself. Deep, green eyes that sparkled in the sunlight. She looked like a nice girl. Until the games changed her forever, of course.

"Is she still in District Four? In the asylum?" I asked him.

He nodded again, his eyes dropping to the ground. "I'm trying to get her out. I'm afraid the Capitol will take her to use her against me."

"Did you love her slowly then?" I asked.

"No. She crept up on me. Like a wave that hits you when your back is turned." He said, his fingers interlaced together, holding tightly to his knees.

"She must be really something." I whispered. "If she got your attention for more than a night."

He shook his head. "It was never like that with her. Annie is different. And I will spend the rest of my life trying to figure out what makes her that way. She's a unsolvable puzzle. A beautiful mystery."

Knowing that Finnick was more than just a endless flirt, knowing that he too had somebody he deeply cared about, it made everything different between us. I could feel it in in the air. I was beginning to crack away at the exterior of this man who had risked his life to save mine. He was more than just my mentor now. He was my friend.

We sat outside for a while before Finnick decided it was too dangerous. He was right. A Capitol hovercraft could be overhead, searching for us. If we were spotted, we would all be captured. Finnick stood to his feet first and then helped me up, giving my hand a reassuring squeeze as he did so. He was alright, my friend Finnick. He was alright.

When we came back down the steps, It was Peeta who was waiting for me. He touched my elbow gently. "I need to talk to you."

I nodded and he led me into his bedroom. It was messy and it didn't take long to distinguish the beds. Peeta's bed was made and clean, Finnick's was surrounded with papers and maps of the Capitol, our current issues distracting him from Annie, and Haymitch's bed was obviously flooded with empty vodka bottles and beer cans.

He closed the door behind us and then turned around to face me, his arms crossed across his chest, his eyes still on the floor. He was having a hard time looking at me lately. His voice was hoarse and tired when he spoke. "I may have been a little out of line earlier."

I snorted. "_May have? A little?"_

"I'm sorry, alright?" He said through his teeth.

"You're not sorry. That's the problem." I said, crossing my own arms. "Did you really call me in here to give me a half-ass apology?" I asked him, the anger rising in my voice.

He shook his head and kept his eyes on the floor. "No. That's not why I called you in here."

"Then why?" I asked. He didn't answer. I sighed and threw my head back in frustration. "Peeta, you haven't as much as looked at me in a week! You only speak at me to yell at me and you're acting like a bigger jerk than Gale, which is saying something. What is going on with you?"

"I don't know." He said quietly, but I could tell the words were on the tip of his tongue, just itching to get out.

"Is this about Gale? I know you don't want us to go and save him but we have to."

His head shot up. "Katniss, I said that stuff in the meeting so you wouldn't want to go. You _can't_ go."

"I have to go. And you know that I have to-"

"You lied to me, okay!" He finally yelled. "You...you never intended to win the games that final day. You were going to kill yourself, weren't you?" He asked me, his voice cracking before his eyes finally met mine for what felt like the first time in forever.

I swallowed hard. "What gave myself away?"

"You were so quick to agree to me letting you win. You didn't argue. And you always argue, Katniss."

I threw my hands up in the air. "So what? Yeah, I was going to kill myself but... so what?"

He stomped his foot in frustration. "_So what? _Katniss, you don't value your life! You are so bent on dying for me but can't you see? You deserve to live! You want to die but you _need_ to live."

"Who the _hell _do you think you are to tell me I don't value my life?" I asked, my eyes narrowed and my chest feeling suddenly tight. "You were planning on dying the entire time! If I don't value my life, neither do you." I said sharply.

"I didn't want to die, Katniss. I just didn't want to live without _you_!" He hurled his words at me, practically screaming them down my throat.

"And I didn't want to live without _you,_ what's the difference?" I asked, confused.

"The difference is you don't seem to care either way, Katniss. I was wrong before. When I said you throw yourself into trouble to prove your brave. I think you do it because you honestly don't care if you live or die." He glanced at the floor and then his eyes began to fill up with tears. "And that kills me. Because if you could only see... the effect you have on people. The effect you have on _me._"

I found myself playing with my fingertips as I stared at the wall past Peeta, his outline blurry in my line of vision. Was he right? Did I not really care about my life anymore? Of course I did. I mean, I wanted to live for my sister and for my mother. But I would have easily died for Peeta. Had my life been too tainted by the Hunger Games for me to want to go on? I wasn't sure.

"I don't know if that's true." I said quietly.

"Don't go to the Capitol. It's too dangerous." Peeta pleaded softly.

I sighed and crossed my arms over my chest again so I would stop moving my fingers so much. "No. I'm going."

We stared at each other for this long, horrific moment. And in that moment, I saw our entire relationship hanging on the line. Peeta wanted to protect me, keep me safe. I wanted to risk my life to keep _others _safe. I was pulling too far away for him to reach. I was risking too much. We held onto our friendship by a thread, dangling before the abyss.

"If you go," Peeta began slowly, "We're done, Katniss. I can't handle this anymore. I can't watch you walk into destruction. It hurts too much."

I swallowed hard and blinked back the tears. "Then I guess this friendship is over."

And just like that, as I turned around and walked out of his room, our entire relationship was ripped off the line and sent crashing to the ground.

* * *

I didn't mean to stumble upon the TV that night. I was actually just coming back from the bathroom when I saw it. Or more specifically, _him._ Gale's gray eyes and strikingly handsome face. His dark hair slicked back with some fancy Capitol product. They were asking him a series of questions that he was answering almost robotic-like.

"Do you have any indication as to the whereabouts of the Rebels?"

Gale shook his head. "I wish I knew. I would the be the first one at their doorstep with a gun in my hand."

"What do you have to say to the districts who are rebelling against us, Gale Hawthorne?"

He narrowed his eyes and looked directly at the screen. "You don't understand what you're doing. Everything the Capitol has ever done has been for the better of this country. You choose to take on the Capitol and you're setting yourself up for not only defeat, but death. Don't be stupid."

"Any final words for the night?"

Gale nodded. "To the rebel who is from my district, Madge Undersee..." I froze at the mention of my name, my breath catching in my lungs. "Don't do our district disgrace, you petty, little girl. Turn yourself in before this gets any worse. All you're doing is causing more problems. And remember, you can hide all you want but we will find you. And you _will _pay." His bitter and cold voice ripped through my soul, tearing me in half.

I clutched a nearby chair for support. Just as I thought things couldn't get any worse, the screen cut to President Snow, who apparently had an announcement for District Twelve.

"As you may know, the last mayor of your district, Mayor Undersee, was an undercover rebel. He was killed last week and we will be appointing a new mayor shortly. We assure you that this mayor will be directly from the Capitol to ensure your safety and protection."

My throat felt like it was closing in on me at the mention of my father and his death. I had avoided this all week! My father and Gale. I had even cut my hair to ensure that the past stayed in the past. And now, here it was. Smacking me in the face. I could not escape it. I would never be able to escape it.

I found myself collapsing into the chair. Peeta walked into the room and stopped when he saw me. "Hey. You cut your hair." He said with a soft smile.

I didn't respond. I just stared him, glancing nervously between the TV and him. His focus shifted to the TV and when he realized what was happening, he rushed to my side. I felt his hand on my shoulder. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't focus. I couldn't do anything. I needed more oxygen. I needed more air!

I began to gasp for air, my hand clenching my stomach. Peeta crouched down and his hand moved from my shoulder to my knee. "_Madge? _Madge, what's wrong?"

I shook my head, because I couldn't answer. I couldn't! I just had this fear I was about to die. I was going to crumble over and just _die._ I couldn't catch my breath. Where had it gone in the first place? A dull pain in my chest was beginning to spread through my stomach. Peeta pulled me to my feet and pressed me into his chest, flinging his arms around me.

"It's okay, Madge. It's okay." He was whispering over and over again.

I was sweating. I couldn't breathe. I felt dizzy, confused, lost. But slowly, ever so slowly, my breathing returned to normal. My dizziness faded away and I regained sense of my surroundings. I pulled away from Peeta. "What just happened?" I asked him, frightened.

"I think you just had a panic attack." He said to me gently, gripping my shoulders.

I nodded slowly. That made more sense than anything else, somehow. I swallowed hard and let my heartbeat calm down for a minute. I exhaled softly and locked my eyes on Peeta. "Peeta, thank you."

He nodded but the concern didn't leave his eyes. "I am really, _really_ worried about you, Madge."

"Me too." I found myself saying.

Just then, a stampede of footsteps could be heard from the hallway. Then, I saw the faces of Haymitch, Finnick, and Katniss.

Haymitch spoke to me directly. "There's been another uprising."

And although I didn't need to ask, I did anyways. "Which district?" I knew. And he knew that I knew. But he answered me anyway.

"District Twelve, Madge. Our District."

* * *

**_A/N: Welcome, welcome to the sequel of Only One! I hope you like the first chapter! Leave me a comment to let me know you're reading! And let me clear some things up right now: Madge and Peeta are JUST FRIENDS. It will stay that way. Gale is a huge part of this story, so don't expect him to be out of the picture for much longer. WINK. That's the only hint I will really give. PLEASE review, guys! Let me know what you liked, didn't like, any questions you may have to the plot. I may or may not be able to answer them but it's worth a shot, right? Happy Reading!_**

**_P.S- Let me know if you find some original hunger games series quotes that I snuck in here, maybe they are bit reworded, but they are some of the famous quotes nonetheless. I like to keep some of the same quotes and situations for fun!_**

**_P.S.S- Don't lose hope in ANY of our couples here. Seriously._**


	2. Chapter 2

The uprising in District Twelve had sent everyone into a frenzy. Apparently, when President Snow announced the death of Mayor Undersee and his plans to replace the mayor with a capitol robot, the district's spark for change grew into a flame. Their uprising resulted in the Capitol raining down bombs on the district, showing them who was still in control. Most of the district was killed but I had heard that some, not many, escaped.

To where? Nobody seemed to want to inform me with that little piece of information. It was hilarious, really. I had been tossed into this role as a rebel without as much as my consent but yet, I was still being withheld from a lot of the truth. I noticed the way Finnick and Haymitch would whisper to each other when they thought I wasn't looking or listening. I hated being left out the loop. It was starting to drive me crazy.

The morning after the news of the uprising, everybody seemed to be running around with their heads cut off. It was then, in the middle of the chaos, that Finnick yanked my arm and pulled me to the hallway.

"Listen, what I'm about to tell you has to stay between us, alright?" I nodded quickly, eager to hear whatever it was that he had to say. He exhaled in relief. "Okay. District Four is planning an uprising and it's going to end in the same way that twelve's did. So, I need to go and get Annie and whoever else I can convince to come with me. They can't win this battle, Katniss. They think they can but the Capitol is much stronger and they have no problem with killing off the majority of the district."

My breath caught in my throat and it took me a moment for his words to register. "We.. we need to go save them!"

He nodded. "And we need to go soon. It could happen at anytime. The uprising is planned for later today but if the Capitol gets word of it, they will send the bombs early."

"Let's go then!" I said as I began to run for the door. He grabbed my arm to pull me back in place.

"Wait!" He hissed. "We can't just run out of here! Look, Haymitch is the only other one who knows about this and he think it's a good idea that I take you as back up. You can't tell anyone, Katniss. Not Peeta, not Madge, nobody."

I nodded. "Of course."

He smiled at me softly. "I knew you would be up for the job."

"To the hovercraft?" I asked with a smile of my own.

"We will leave in an hour." He responded.

My stomach churned on the ride over to District Four. Home. It was weird that I was going there without Peeta. It reminded me of how it would have felt if I had won he games and Peeta had died. I would be going back home without him, without his smile or ocean blue eyes. Without the safety and warmth of his hand in my own. The idea made me nauseous.

But it shouldn't have. We weren't even friends anymore. That's what we had decided. Peeta wanted me to live chained to a wall and I wanted to save others. He thought I didn't value my life and he valued it too much. I had been in very few standstills with Peeta but this was definitely one of them.

I glanced over at Finnick who sat besides me, fiddling with his hands. He was nervous. It was odd to see him like this. I was so used to his flirtatious jokes that it was a strange emotion for me to see Finnick wearing.

"You know, I am a little offended, Finnick. You haven't tried to hit on me today." I teased to lighten the mood.

He smirked. "Sorry to disappoint. Shall we kiss and make up?"

I laughed. "It doesn't take much to get you going, does it?"

"Not much at all." He responded before he elbowed me in the gut playfully.

We landed in the district then. Since they were about to rebel, we knew the district wouldn't turn us in for being rebels. Plus, it was our home district. Finnick and I had been worried about being spotted by the Capitol once they went to send in their bombs. but we figured they wouldn't exactly be looking for us, they'd be a little too preoccupied with blowing up the entire district.

The second my feet touched solid ground again, I could smell the water. It filled the air everywhere, there. Salty air, we called it. I yearned to run to the shore and feel the water on my feet again. But we were on a mission and I had to focus. Men all around us seemed to be preoccupied. They were running around, whispering to each other. Women and children were running into their houses and shutting the blinds. The uprising was coming.

"Let's go get Annie first." Finnick said and I didn't disagree with him. We made our way towards town. When we passed my families fishing shop, I had to grab onto Finnicks's arm for support. It brought back such a powerful wave of memories, all either connected to my family or Peeta. The worst part of it all was that the shop would be burned to the ground by morning.

When we passed Peeta's families shop, I knew I had to stop. I had to get them to come, regardless of what was going on between Peeta and I. It was only right. "I have to stop here first." I said to Finnick and he nodded slowly, understanding. "You can go ahead and get Annie."

"No." He said quickly. "We do this together, alright?"

I smiled at him softly before opening the door. The familiar ring of the bell above the door went off and I was greeted with a sign that said, "_Welcome to the Mellark's Fish Market!_"

There was nobody at the main counter but I heard somebody in the back of the shop. They walked out a moment later and I saw that it was Peeta's father instead of his mother. He had always been my favorite of the two. He was always cheerful and friendly with me, unlike his wife. I had spent the entire time that I had known Peeta trying to figure out why he married her in the first place. I knew he had wanted to marry my mother but just because she chose my father didn't mean Peeta's father had to marry a witch instead.

He looked surprised to see me, obviously. I was one of the Rebels. I was apparently missing in action. And I was standing next to the famous Finnick Odair, who was also a rebel.

"Katniss." He said taking a slow step towards me.

"Hi." I said shortly. I wasn't in the mood. This was the man who refused to leave his shop to see his son again. This was the man who drank too much and pretended not to notice when his wife got too rough with his son. This man was weak.

"What are you..." He glanced behind me and then back at me and lowered his voice to a whisper. "What are you doing here? If my wife sees you she'll-"

"She'll what?" I snapped. "She'll hit me?"

He swallowed hard and stared at me with blank eyes.

I sighed and shook my head, clearing it. "The reason I am here is because this uprising you are all planning, well it's not going to end well. And you need to come with us because if you don't, you will all be dead."

He shook his head, not understanding. "You're the rebels... isn't this what you want? For us to fight back?"

Finnick put his hand on my shoulder and answered for me. "Not like this. Not when you don't have any other districts on your side. Not without a plan, a purpose. We want to fight back but planning something out of the blue like this is not the answer.. this district can't take down the Capitol alone. It's too late to stop this uprising but it's not too late to save you and your family."

Peeta's father stood with his mouth hung slightly open, his eyes wide and confused. Just then, Kyler Mellark, Peeta's older brother, came out from the back room.

"Hey, dad, do you know where the red barrel is because-" He stopped talking when he spotted me. He glanced between me and his father slowly, the confusion written all over his face.

"Hey, Kyler." I said with a small smile. I had always liked Kyler. He was eighteen, just two years older than Peeta and I. He had the same ashy blond hair, same blue eyes, as Peeta. He was always cracking jokes to lighten the mood. He was rougher than Peeta, that was for sure.

"What are you doing here?" He asked incredulously.

Peeta's father sighed. "Katniss, we can't go."

"Go where?" Kyler asked.

I locked my eyes on his own. "To where Peeta is staying. To safety. Because if you stay here and try to fight the Capitol, you will be killed." I said harshly to get my point across.

Kyler looked at his father for a long moment. He saw his blank expression, saw the way he stared at the floor. He knew, right then, that his father wasn't going to say yes. Kyler looked back at me and then said, "I want to go."

Peeta's father glanced up at his son. "You can't, Kyler."

"No, we have to!" He said. "She's right. We will be killed if we stay here. What are we trying to prove with this uprising anyways? That we won't stand for this crap? Well, guess what? They don't care! The Capitol could care less what we think or feel and if we try to fight them now, we will easily be outnumbered. We _need_ to go."

His father shook his head. "We can't. It's not an option."

"Why?" I asked. "Because your precious wife cares about her shop more than her own son?"

"Katniss..." Finnick began before squeezing my shoulder gently.

I shook off his hand and took a step closer to Peeta's father, glaring up at him sharply. "_You're weak._ You're a weak man who can't think for himself! You know the right thing to do would be to go with me right now. But you can't because you're tied down to this mediocre life that you _never _wanted." I spat my words. "Because what you wanted, was to marry my mother, right? That's what Peeta told me once."

His face was so pale, it was the color of snow. He coughed and then looked at his son. "Do whatever you want, Kyler. But I'm _not_ going." He said this evenly before turning around and walking to the back of the shop.

Kyler stood there for a moment, looking completely torn. Then he shook his head.  
Let's go then." He said weakly.

By the time we made it to the asylum to get Annie, the district appeared moments away from the actual uprising. Men were beginning to march towards the square, a thirsty look in their normally vacant eyes. We had mere minutes before everything broke out into chaos.

Finnick reached for the handle of the asylum and found it unlocked. "That's odd." He noted. He pushed it open and we stepped inside.

The front desk was empty and there didn't appear to be a soul in sight. My guess was that everyone was with their families getting ready to rebel. This made getting Annie a lot easier. Finnick seemed to know which way to go as he guided us down hallway after hallway, left and right, right and left, up and down stairwells. After an eternity, we reached a gray door with the number, "1585" written in the middle of it.

"Here goes nothing." He whispered before turning the knob and opening up the door.

A girl with long, tangled dark hair sat on a white bed, rocking back and forth and whispering to herself. I didn't notice a lot about people's appearances, but this girl before me was beautiful. Green eyes, bright cheeks, red lips.

"Annie." Finnick whispered.

She whipped her head in our direction and her face lit up immediately, her green eyes coming to life and sparkling. She jumped out of the bed and ran straight towards him. They collided in a hug and then crashed into the wall behind them, knocking over a food tray in the process. They didn't seem to notice or care. It was the first time I had ever seen Finnick look so happy. It was also the first time I had ever seen him cry.

"Annie, Annie, Annie," He was whispering into her hair as the tears rolled down his cheeks. She was sobbing into his chest, shaking.

Their love was so strong and real, it would've been impossible to doubt. Kyler stood besides me, watching them with the same strangled expression that I wore. After an eternity, they pulled apart and shared a long, soft kiss. Then he grabbed her hand and pulled her out into the hallway. We followed quickly.

"Where are we going?" She whispered to him.

"We're getting the hell out of here, Annie." He answered.

Racing back out of the building as quickly as possible, we made it outside in the middle of the uprising. Watch towers were collapsing, bridges were being set on fire, peace keepers were being beaten with bats, stabbed with fishing knifes. Blood and cries and piercing screams surrounded me.

I was back in the arena.

I stood in the middle of it all, dazed and confused and too paralyzed with memories to move on my own. Kyler yanked my arm and started to sprint after Finnick and Annie. We raced through town, dodging bullets and flying knifes, stepping over dead bodies and running around rings of fire. I tried to block out the noise by keeping my bad ear to it but it wasn't enough, I could still hear the cries of death.

I saw our hovercraft. It was in our line of sight. We were almost there. We were almost there!

"Katniss, wait!" A very faint voice called from behind me somewhere.

I turned around and saw Peeta's father and his oldest brother standing back a hundred feet. They began to run towards me. He had changed his mind. He wasn't weak, after all. He was strong. So strong and brave. It didn't matter that Peeta and I were no longer friends because I was bringing him his family! He would forgive me. We would be okay again. The walls that had been built between us would fall down. They broke out into a sprint and I couldn't hide the smile on my face. They were coming with us! Everything was going to be okay again.

That was when the Capitol dropped the first bomb and I watched Peeta's father and oldest brother blow up before my very eyes.

* * *

I shuffled the pack of cards in my hands and handed half of them to Peeta. We played mindless games like cards to keep our thoughts as far away from everything happening as possible. We were sitting on my bed facing each other with our legs crossed. Since my panic attack last night, I had decided that being out of the loop was worse than being in it. The things I had heard and seen on the TV screen had shocked me so much, I had nearly lost it.

"Any news on when they are going to get Gale?" I asked Peeta as I flipped a card out in front of us.

He played a card on top of mine. "I guess this week sometime. That's what Haymitch said this morning anyway. I still don't think it's a good idea."

"Well, I need him back." I said quickly, slapping down my next card.

Peeta nodded. "You need the real Gale back, yes. I don't think you're ready for this version, though."

"He's still Gale." I said with an edge to my voice. "He's just lost in his own body. I have to find him."

"I am just looking out for you, Madge. I really don't think it will be as easy as you're assuming. The boy is convinced that _we_ arethe enemy."

I sighed. "I know, Peeta. Trust me, I know. I heard him call me a petty, little girl on national TV. But, you're underestimating me if you think I will give up this easily. I can't... I can't afford to lose anybody else." I said quietly, my voice cracking.

He grabbed my hand gently and ran his thumb over my palm soothingly. "Hey, you still have me. You will always have me." His eyes found mine.

I managed a smile. "Thank you."

He stared at me and then looked down at his cards. He slapped one on top of my own. "Your hair looks nice, by the way."

I reached up and touched a piece of it. It felt so weird and light on my head. It was far more manageable, at least. It didn't get in crazy tangles anymore. I shrugged my shoulders. "It was time for a change."

"Change." He repeated before looking down, his eyes suddenly sad. I had a feeling something had happened between him and Katniss but he wasn't talking about it. I figured he would tell me when he was ready.

I played my next card and smiled. "I win. Rematch?"

He nodded. "Bring it on." His lips curled up into a smirk and the sadness faded away.

Just then, there was such a commotion out in the hallway that we both turned, startled by the noise. We jumped out of my bed and I opened the door, stepping out into the hall. Finnick was coming down the steps, holding tightly to a girl with dark hair. Katniss was behind him, followed by a boy who looked strikingly similar to Peeta, only a bit older and more muscular.

"Kyler." Peeta said from behind me before running towards him. He brushed past Katniss like she wasn't even there. She looked momentarily set back by this. I watched as Peeta stood in front of this boy who I presumed to be his brother. He stared at him for a long moment before pulling him into an awkward embrace. He whispered something close to Kyler's ear and when they pulled away, Kyler shook his head and closed his eyes before saying something.

Peeta let out a breath before nodding slowly. He turned around towards Katniss and I heard him say. "Thank you."

She swallowed hard. "You're welcome." A lingering look past between them before they both turned away from each other.

Finnick and this mystery girl were walking past me so I grabbed his arm to stop him. "What's going on, Finnick? Who are these people?"

He smiled softly and squeezed the girls hand. "This is Annie and that's Peeta's brother, Kyler. We went to District Four to save them."

"Save them from what?"

He exhaled. "They tried to start an uprising but like in District Twelve, it backfired. The capitol started raining down bombs and we barely got out of there in time. We wanted to take more people but everything started happening so fast."

I nodded and they walked away, wrapped up tightly in each other's arms. I walked towards Peeta and Kyler and gave him a warm smile as I extended my hand.

"I'm Madge." I said.

He smirked but shook my hand anyways. "I know who you are. I watched the games. Not to mention you're one of the rebels with my brother so your face is posted all over the country." His voice was sharper than Peeta's, but it had an edge of playfulness to it that made me realize he was only teasing me.

"Well, I guess you do know who I am then." I said, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Nice to meet you officially, though. I feel like I should be asking for your autograph. You're famous now." He smiled at me.

I blushed and found myself rolling my eyes. "Famous isn't always a good thing."

He laughed and then noticed something behind me. His face broke out into a beam. "If it isn't my favorite twelve year old!" He said and I turned around to see Prim leaning against the wall, wearing a soft smile herself.

He ran towards her and pulled her into a hug, lifting her feet off the ground as he did so. She laughed and he put her down gently, a playful gleam in his eye. It was obvious that he thought of Prim as a little sister.

"I hate when you point out my age all the time, Kyler." She mumbled.

He shrugged and ruffled her hair. "Deal with it. You're practically an infant."

I heard Peeta sigh behind me and I turned to face him. He tried to smile but it was strangled and broken. "What?" I asked gently.

"Kyler told me our family died in the bombing. Well, he knows for sure our father and brother did. He's not sure about our mother." Peeta swallowed hard and blinked quickly a few times.

I pulled him into a tight hug. "I am so sorry." I whispered close to his ear. And the gut wrenching hole in the bottom of my chest reminded me that now, we had another thing in common.

Both our fathers were dead.

We pulled away and he nodded. "It's okay. Well, I guess it's not okay but it will be eventually. I really should find Kyler a room. This place is getting a little crowded." He squeezed my hand as he walked by and went to his brother and Prim.

I leaned against the wall, closing my eyes and gathering my thoughts. District Twelve had rebelled and was bombed. Four was rebelling currently and getting bombed as well. The Capitol couldn't just keep bombing the districts, though. There would be nothing left. It had to end somewhere, right? I sighed. Maybe they didn't care if they bombed everybody. They could just breed capitol robots and start the country all over again.

A pound on the door of the shelter made me jump. I was about a hundred percent sure I wasn't supposed to answer the door without talking to Haymitch or Finnick first. But they were nowhere in sight and I was right there, close to the steps. I shrugged. Nothing could surprise me or throw me at that point. If it was the Capitol, I would gladly let them take me.

I climbed the stone steps that led to the wooden door of the bomb shelter. I swung it open quickly.

I had just said that nothing could surprise me but clearly I had been wrong. Because never in a thousand years had I expected to find what I discovered before me.

Never did I think Gale Hawthorne would be standing behind that door, holding a gun directly pointed at my heart.

* * *

_A/N: I told you Gale would be back soon, remember? Hehehehehe, I bet you weren't expected like this. I am evil, I know. You all still hate me, I know. You can't have a rainbow with some RAIN, though. Anyways, let's all welcome my original character, Kyler Mellark. I felt adding him to the story would be a little fun. I can play around with it a bit. I'm sure some of you don't like when people throw in original characters, but oh well. I think it's more fun that way!_

_Anyways, thanks for the overwhelming response on the first chapter. I hope this one doesn't disappoint! LEAVE A REVIEW AND LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK WILL HAPPEN NEXT. Your predictions are SO AWESOME TO READ! Thanks, guys!_

_P.S- There may be mistakes in this, I proof-read far too quickly so I apologize in advance if there is and let me know! Thanks!_


	3. Chapter 3

"Gale." His name rolled off my tongue and into the air. The last time I had said his name directly to him, he was being yanked into a hovercraft and beaten down by Seneca Crane. Now, here he was. Right in front of me. With a gun pointed at my chest.

His eyes narrowed and he waived the gun. "Don't say my name, traitor." He spat.

I swallowed hard. "We're _both _traitors, Gale. You have to know that deep somewhere inside and-"

"SHUT UP!" He screamed and jabbed the gun into my chest. My breath caught in my throat and I took a small step backwards. His eyes were dark and filled with... hate. Gale _hated_ me. "Just, shut the hell up! I am _not_a traitor!" He said with viciousness.

"Gale," I began as calmly as my weak voice could muster. "Even before we were in the games, you didn't side with the Capitol."

He shook his head slightly, his eyebrows furrowed. "I was never in the games. What the hell are you talking about?"

"What?" I gasped. "Gale, you were in the games with me and Katniss and Peeta."

His anger was fading to confusion. He lowered his gun for a moment and I had time to gather my thoughts. Gale didn't think he was in the games. What did that mean? Had they wiped away his entire memory? Or maybe, they had just wiped away his memory of the games. I had to find out.

"What do you know about me?" I asked him, gripping the edges of my shirt.

His eyes glanced up and met mine. "I know you're a dirty, fifthly traitor."

I swallowed. "What else?"

He closed his eyes for a long moment. When he opened them, he whispered his words. "You helped me once." Then I watched as he lifted the gun back up. "But if I had known you were going to morph into a rebel back then, I would've never let you near me!" He yelled, his voice picking back up and the anger returning to his face.

"I helped you after you were caught outside of the district hunting!" I practically cried.

He laughed a cruel laugh. It was sharp and made my skin feel cold. "Don't try to trick me, you brat. I fell out of a tree inside of the district and you carried me to the hospital."

I wanted to scream. Nothing was making sense. He remembered me but the memory had been changed. Everything had been changed. "Gale," I pleaded softly. "Please, just...remember. The Capitol aren't the good guys here. The rebels are."

He narrowed his eyes. "You can't confuse me. Every word out of your tiny mouth is a _lie_!" He hurled his words at me and gripped the gun tighter, his finger near the trigger.

I was already exhausted. Peeta had been right. I hadn't known the extent of the damage done to Gale. And with my father gone, and this horrible version of Gale before me, I didn't see the point anymore. I didn't see the point of living. My father would always be dead. Gale would never return to normal and chances were, we would get captured and killed by the Capitol. They clearly knew where we were hiding. I felt myself let go of the last strand of hope I had been holding within myself. Because really, there was no hope.

"I will shoot you if you don't-" Gale began.

"THEN SHOOT ME!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. "I don't care! Don't you get it? I don't care if I die or not so just shoot me, dammit!"

Gale didn't lower his gun. But he didn't shoot me either. Instead, he stared at me with a lost expression written all over his face. Just then, someone came up behind me and shoved me into the wall of the staircase. I shrieked and turned around just in time to watch Finnick shoot some kind of arrow into Gale's leg. Gale passed out to the ground immediately.

"Before you freak out, don't worry. It just puts him out for an hour. That's all we need." Finnick said before I could even open my mouth. Then his hand was on my shoulder. "Are you alright? I heard Gale's voice and so I grabbed this on my way over." He pointed to the gun-like object in his hand.

I was shaking uncontrollably and breathing hard but I managed to nod my head. I wasn't alright, though. I hadn't been alright in days. I would never be alright again. A few others joined us on the staircase. Haymitch and Peeta.

Peeta pulled me into a hug as Haymitch and Finnick picked up Gale's body and lifted him down the stairs. "What just happened, Madge?" He whispered into my ear before pulling away.

I shook my head. "I... I don't know. There was a knock on the door and it was Gale and..." I couldn't get my words out. My legs felt like Jello and my heart was racing uncontrollably.

Peeta nodded and ran his hand up and down my arm. "It's okay. It's okay, Madge."

But it wasn't okay. And when Haymitch ran back over to us, I could tell he knew it wasn't okay as well. He looked at us and then said quickly, "We need to get the hell out of here."

I knew this much. If the Capitol had sent Gale, they knew where we were. "Why did they send Gale alone? If they knew where we were, they could've easily came and captured us."

Haymitch sighed. "Well, the Capitol plays on people's weakness. They knew it would hurt us more if they sent Gale to come capture us. They know we won't kill him. They also know he won't be able to drag us to the Capitol. They plan to get us eventually. But they want to rattle us with Gale first. Maybe as a warning that they are watching. Plus, they wanted Gale to believe that he wasn't in trouble but he is. He's a rebel too and they haven't forgotten that, even if he has."

I ran a finger through my hair but was disappointed when I remembered it was short. "Haymitch, he doesn't think he was in the games. And the only memory we've shared before the games, when we were younger. he remembers it in a way that's far from the truth."

Haymitch nodded. "My guess is that they wiped his short-term memory. He definitely doesn't remember the last few weeks in any way, shape, or form. And his memory from when you were kids, he's subconsciously changed the memory to make it fit what he's been told by the Capitol. He refuses to believe it in the way that it actually happened so therefore, he alters the content of the memory."

"He doesn't want to remember it the way it happened, so he doesn't." I stated, finally understanding.

Haymitch nodded. "Exactly. They've dropped off Gale in this form on purpose. They want to destroy us emotionally before physically."

Peeta leaned into the wall. "So, where do we go from here? We can't stay here, obviously."

"No, we can't." Haymitch replied vaguely.

I rolled my eyes. "Just spit it out, Haymitch. Where are we going?"

He rolled his eyes back at me and then after a long pause, he finally responded. "A little place we like to call... District Thirteen."

I found myself snorting. "District Thirteen doesn't exists. It was destroyed years ago."

Haymitch replied dryly. "Well, clearly, it wasn't or we wouldn't be going there. We leave in half an hour." He turned around then and walked away from us but I wouldn't have it. So, I caught up to him.

"If thirteen _does_ exists, why didn't we go there straight out of the arena?"

Haymitch rolled his eyes at the sight of me. "Don't you ever go away?" We didn't go right away because we wanted Gale. Now we have Gale. Plus, we wanted to make sure it was the best option for us."

"Is this place safe? Are they on the rebels side?"

"They are definitely not on the Capitol's side, that's for sure." Haymitch mumbled as he walked faster so I couldn't keep up with him. I was young and strong and right back by his side in a matter of seconds, however.

"Why were we led to believe our entire lives that thirteen didn't exists?"

Haymitch swore to himself and stopped walking abruptly, whipping around to face me. "Why do you think, Madge? To make sure the Captiol still appeared strong. Stronger than any of the districts. But clearly, there are cracks in their armor. Now, leave me alone! There is too much to do and not enough time." He practically ran away from me, racing into his bedroom before slamming the door shut.

Kyler happened to be on the other side of the door and wore a confused expression as he stepped closer to me. "What was that about?"

I sighed. "Haymitch hates me. Nothing out of the ordinary."

Kyler smirked and cocked his eyebrows. He had his arms crossed in front of his chest and the muscles in his arms were more defined because of this. "How could anybody hate you? You practically bleed sunshine and rainbows."

I rolled my eyes and let out a short laugh. "I just gave Gale permission to kill me. I'm not exactly the symbol for optimism at the moment."

Kyler waved this off with his hand like it wasn't a big deal. "I tell people to kill me all the time. No worries!" He exclaimed dramatically.

I couldn't help but laugh. He refused to take anything seriously. I tucked a loose strand of my hair behind my ear. "Did you hear that we are going to District Thirteen?"

He nodded. "I can't even fathom what exciting adventures await us." He replied dryly.

"Five minutes ago, I didn't even know thirteen existed and now, we're going to live there? I shouldn't be surprised. I keep getting hit with curve ball after curve ball."

Kyler's eyes locked with my own and I saw that smirk again. "Join the club." He whispered, while leaning forward on the tips of his toes. With that, he walked away.

I stood in the hallway a moment longer, perplexed by this boy who was nothing like Peeta but yet, shared his blood. Somebody in the hall pushed me and pulled me out of my own mind. There was no time for this. We had a rebellion to start, apparently.

* * *

I fell asleep on the hovercraft ride over to thirteen with a scowl on my face. This is what Haymitch and Finnick had been keeping from us? An entire district that was supposed to be destroyed years ago was still alive and thriving? And apparently, it was entirely underground. I could barely even look at Finnick when we stepped onto the hovercraft.

I awoke to the sound of the engine cutting off and the hovercraft landing softly. Everybody was lining up to shuffle down the long and terrifying steps that led to District Thirteen. They had to carry Gale's limp body down the steps.

Peeta was in front of me as we slowly made our way down. I had failed to save his family. I had failed my one attempt at bringing him back to me. Peeta was so close to me but yet, he felt so far away. So completely out of reach. I wanted this all to end.

"What do you think it will be like?" I whispered to him.

To my surprise, he didn't ignore me. He shrugged. "Nothing like District Four, that's for sure."

"Do you really think we should trust these people?" I said close to his ear as we kept walking.

"I don't know _who_ to trust, Katniss." He said with an exhausted sigh.

I swallowed hard. There it was. The implication that he couldn't trust me. He still hated me. Yes, I had lied to him in the arena when I told him I would let him die for me. Why was it so wrong for somebody to mean so much to me, that death seemed more manageable than a life without them? Why was I being punished for that?

"I didn't go to get Gale so you can stop being mad at me now." I said with anger.

He turned around to face me and stopped walking down the steep steps. "Only because Gale came to us first. You had every intention of going to get him."

I crossed my arms over my chest. I wanted to retort with something smart but instead, my lips moved without my permission. "I miss you." I admitted weakly, desperately.

Peeta lifted his hand up and rested it on my cheek for a long moment. I placed my own hand over it and breathed in his warmth, his touch, his everything. He swallowed hard and said in a strangled voice. "You know I miss you too."

"Then why aren't we friends again?" I whispered.

Peeta closed his eyes for a long moment. When he opened them, he gripped the stairwells railing before replying. "I don't know... I feel... I feel numb, Katniss." His eyes locked on my own and were painted with colors of misery that I couldn't even fathom having to feel.

Peeta had lost his father and his oldest brother. His mother was still missing and probably dead. Rue was dead. Madge's father was dead. Everybody was dying all around him and there I was, diving into the ocean of death itself. I was going to die so he could live in the arena. I was going to go on a risky mission to save Gale. He couldn't handle losing me. So he pulled away from me, he pulled as far as possible, even though it destroyed him to do so. Because maybe then, it would hurt him a little less when I got myself killed with my recklessness.

"Peeta," I began, my mouth hanging open as I searched for words.

Someone coming down the steps behind me nudged me. "Let's move it, Katniss." Kyler mumbled from the step above me.

I whipped around to glare at him and he held his hands up. "Sorry." He said quickly.

By the time I turned back around, Peeta had moved. He was traveling down the last of the steps and walking out into a hallway. With a sigh, I continued down the steps as well.

The rest of the morning passed in a blur. We were given a tour, shown our rooms, and were told about how things worked in thirteen. Every citizen of thirteen must abide by a strict schedule that is printed on your forearm everyday by some machine. Prim and Gale's brothers and sister would be going to school because of their age. I rolled my eyes when the lady giving us the tour noted that sticking to these schedules was of utmost importance. _We'll see about that,_ I thought.

We were given the day off because we were new and had arrived late anyways. Gale was placed in a small, white room with glass surrounding it. I didn't like the idea of watching him through glass, like he was some sort of an animal, but it was important that we could keep an eye on him. Somewhere between pacing the halls and twirling with my fingers out of boredom, I decided to visit him.

Shoving my shaking hands into my pockets, I walked towards his glass room that was tucked far away from any of the other rooms. When I reached it, I noticed there was speakers built into a part of the glass so we could still communicate with him. When he came into my line of vision, he was sitting on his bed, wearing a scowl. Spotting me, his scowl only grew. He crossed his arms over his chest and began to speak. I heard his voice through the speaker.

"What the hell are you doing here, _Four?_" He growled.

"I have a name." I said calmly.

He snorted. "Yeah. _Rebel._" He practically spat the word at me.

I found myself smiling because a thought occurred to me in that moment that hadn't before. "Nobody ever asked me, you know. If I wanted to be a Rebel, if I wanted to start a war with the Capitol but yet, here I am. Thrown right into the middle of it all."

Gale watched me carefully, his expression changing often. One moment, he appeared on the verge of killing me with only his eyes. The next moment, his anger would fade to annoyance. And sometimes, his look was simply a look of confusion. "I'll pretend to believe that for the sake of this stimulating conversation." He mumbled. "If you _did_ have a choice, what would you have done?"

"Died in the arena like I had planned to do." I answered honestly. I found it oddly easy to talk to Gale when he was in this state. I felt like I could be so much raw and real with him now that he thought of me as a monster, which wasn't far off from what I thought of myself.

Gale rolled his eyes. "Don't play the pathetic, innocent little girl in this. You wanted this rebellion."

I shook my head. "Honestly, I have no idea what I wanted. Or what I even want right now."

Gale's glare returned. "Well, I want you dead."

I found my lips working on their own accord. "Me too, sometimes. Not all the time. But... sometimes."

"You want to be dead, Undersee told me to shoot her. None of you really care what the hell happens to you." He said this as a statement, his eyebrows furrowed. He glanced up at me then. "Why?" He demanded. "Why don't you care?"

I shrugged. "I don't know why, Gale. I just...you can only care for so long before you're just too damn exhausted, too drained of emotion and determination to care. I'm just too tired. We are all just _so _tired."

"Well, then you better wake up because it's only just beginning." He said through gritted teeth. "You can lock me away in this room and psychoanalyze me but I'm still killing _every single one of you_ once I deliver you to the Capitol."

I couldn't help myself but speak the truth. "The Capitol could not possibly care less about you, Gale. They want you to believe they are on your side but they're not. You're a rebel too and-"

"Dammit, stop that!" He stood to his feet, screaming his words at me, his face red with rage. "Stop trying to spin this around and make me believe that you're the good guys just because I see you all for what you really are; pathetic, lonely, low-life traitors! I know the truth!"

"No, you have no idea what the truth is!" I found myself yelling back.

Gale charged towards me and slammed his fist into the glass wall between us. I jumped as the walls rattled and shook, the sound of the impact echoing through the air. "You're just angry because you can't hide any longer, Katniss. Do you even understand the impacts of fighting the Capitol? How many innocent people will die because of it?"

"Think about how many innocent children die in the games, Gale!" I practically cried. "You can't justify that, can you?"

He didn't even blink. He responded with ease. "That's as a reminder to the districts that-"

"That what?" I screamed. "That all of this is _sick_ and _twisted _and _wrong?"_

Gale backed away from the wall then, grabbing a fist full of his hair as he did so. When he turned back around, his face was red again. He shook his head at me. "Get out of my face, _Rebel_."

"With pleasure." I spat before turning on my heel and marching to my bedroom. I slammed the door as I did so, catching the attention of both my mother and Prim.

"Are you okay?" Prim asked me.

I sighed and nodded my head. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just tired, that's all."

"Maybe you should take a nap." She said, leading me over to my bed. I smiled at my little sister and sat down on the thin, cheap mattress. She pulled off my shoes and pulled my legs up onto the bed. She tugged the comforter up and over my shoulders before placing a kiss on my cheek. "Just sleep. You'll feel better when you wake up."

I laughed. "I love you, Prim." Was all I managed to say before my eyes closed and I drifted off.

* * *

Dinner was served at six o'clock sharp. No second helpings. No saving food. You got what you got and you ate it. That was that. I tried to hide my grimace when I was handed a tray with a chunk on meatloaf drowning in gravy and a small side of plastic looking carrots. _I ate better in the arena_, I thought to myself as I sat down next to Peeta at a small, round table.

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but I miss fish." Peeta said after he swallowed his first bite.

I groaned. "Is it that disgusting?" Peeta nodded. "What I wouldn't give for my mother's cooking right now." I said dreamily.

"Maybe she can work in the kitchen as her job." Peeta suggested.

I sighed. "They have her wearing some bracelet that exempts her from work because she's so sick. So, no kitchen duty for her. What about you?"

Peeta smiled at me and leaned in close to my ear. "Haven't you heard? Now that Gale is back, we are the Fantastic Six. Our job is to rally up the districts and start a war. Fun, huh?" He said dryly.

I cocked my head to the side in confusion. "Wait, _who _is the Fantastic Six?"

"Me and you, Katniss and Gale, Haymitch and Finnick. That's what people are calling us in the districts. Together, Coin believes we can start a revolution." He said dramatically and in a mocking tone.

Coin was the president of District Thirteen. So far, I had yet to meet her but from what I heard, she seemed like quite the character.

"Gale can not be part of this so-called Fantastic Six. He tried to shoot me this morning!" I tried to say this with a laugh but my laugh came out as more of a strangled cry and I coughed to cover it up.

Peeta shrugged. "He probably doesn't have to do anything. They can just keep showing his picture or something."

"I don't want to start a revolution." I grumbled as I wiped off some of the excessive gravy on my meatloaf.

"Haven't you noticed the trend? We don't have a choice in anything. It's been that way since the reaping."

"You had a choice though, _volunteer._" I reminded him.

Peeta shrugged and took a sip of water. "Besides that."

I smiled and then a tray slammed down next to me. I looked up to see Kyler, looking quite upset. I had to roll my eyes when he began to speak. "They practically slapped me when I asked if I could get seconds. You would think I asked them if I could murder one of them."

"Oh, don't worry. You don't want seconds. It taste like plastic." I said to him.

He sat down with a sigh and took a bite. His grimace had both Peeta and I laughing. "Well," He began, "I start work in the kitchen tomorrow so I come with the guarantee of better food."

Peeta rolled his eyes. "All you know how to make is fish."

I patted Peeta's hand with enthusiasm. "Perfect! You were just saying how much you miss fish!"

Kyler nodded his head at me. "Thank you for the support, Madge. And you know what? I'm going to find where they stash the chocolate and smuggle it through my pants."

"I doubt they even have chocolate. That sounds like a petty inconvenience for this place. Unless they can use chocolate to power one of their fancy machines, of course. " I said before taking another dreadful bite of my food.

We all laughed and I almost felt joy again. I almost felt okay, content, alright. But the burning sensation in my chest reminded of me all the truths I had tucked away; my father was dead, Gale was brainwashed and wanted me dead,I wanted myself dead. My laugh faded away and I glanced around the room out of nervousness.

I spotted Gale's family in a far back corner, eating alone. I hated what had happened to Gale but I couldn't imagine what Hazelle was feeling or how she was explaining it to her children. Before I knew what I was doing, I jumped up from the table and made my way towards them.

Hazelle glanced up at me and she smiled softly. "Madge! How nice to see you."

"Madge!" Little Posy shrieked before racing towards my side and hugging my legs tightly. I ruffled her hair and ticked her side for a moment. She giggled and took a step back, placing her hands behind her back and swaying on her feet in this adorable manner.

"And these are my boys, Rory and Vick." Hazelle pointed to the two young kids at the table and I waved at them awkwardly. They nodded their heads at me, signaling their greeting.

She stood up from the table and pulled me to the side. She leaned in and asked me in a hushed whisper. "How are you? I know you were the one...you were there when Gale arrived this morning." She was trying so hard not to ask the real question. _How are you after my son tried to kill you?_

I smiled and crossed my arms over my chest just to do something with my shaking hands. "I'm fine. It's been a long day but I'm fine."

She nodded and licked her lips. "I visited him earlier. He... he was upset with me because I was living in the bomb shelter. He's upset that I'm not on the Capitol's side, I guess. He still knows who I am, thankfully. He still loves me... he's just...confused."

I nodded my head slowly. "He remembers his past. Just not the games. And not anything that would reflect his negative attitude on the Capitol. He changed those memories to make them fit into his new idea about the Capitol."

Hazelle sighed. "Can we change these ideas back?"

"I don't know." I answered honestly. "But we have to do something because I'm not going to watch him sit in that room and plan my death."

Hazelle pulled me into a warm hug then. Her arms wrapped around my shoulders and I leaned into her. She smelled like home still. In the way that Gale always did in the arena. At the thought of Gale and arena, I remembered something he had said once. It was right before we tried to fight the careers with Rue as our distraction. The subject of love had come up as we watched Katniss and Peeta sleep.

_"My parents love each other." I had said._

_"Mine too."_

This implied that his father was still alive but if that was the case, where was he? I had only then noticed that it was only Hazelle and the children. I wanted to ask but it felt rude. Instead I pulled away from the hug with a smile. "I'll let you get back to your dinner."

It was later, when I found myself tossing and turning in bed, that my feet began to drag me towards Gale's room. I wasn't sure what I would say to him or what I even wanted to say to him. How did I fix this? How did I make him see the truth? It seemed hopeless.

But so did winning the games. I mean, I guess I didn't technically win but I could have. I defeated the strongest and most lethal career there was. I outsmarted the others when I made that trap for Marvel. I learned how to use a sling-shot. If I could do all that in a few weeks, surely I could get through to the boy who confessed his love for me.

Gale was awake when I took the slow and steady steps up to the glass. He was pacing the room and when he spotted me, he walked towards me, leaning his hands on the glass. He looked more exhausted than angry. I know how he felt. I was never _not _exhausted.

"Hey, Gale." I said softly.

His voice was hoarse through the speaker. "Why won't you people ever leave me alone?"

I let out a sigh. "I wish I could."

"You all come here and tell me all these things that I'm just supposed to believe." He said quietly, his eyes on the ground before him. "But I have no reason to trust you. Any of you. You betrayed your country."

"A country that needs to be betrayed." I said with a fierceness I had forgotten I had. "I know your mind is probably flooded with things and words that make you believe otherwise but, Gale, Panem is not a happy place. Children are dying. And for what? So the Capitol can appear to be in control? It's wrong. _You know_ it's wrong. You've just forgotten."

He shook his head slowly then glanced up to meet my eyes. "Why do you even care about me? I'm just some boy from your district."

I wanted to laugh because if he was _just_ a boy from my district, all of this would've been so much simpler. But he was more than that. "No." I said with a small smile. "You're not. You mean the world to me, Gale. And if you could just remember the past few weeks, you would see that." My words were soft and weak. I began to walk away then, figuring our conversation was over. It was Gale's voice that brought me back, however.

"You told me to shoot you earlier."

I stopped walking and spun back around. "Yes." I agreed. "I did."

He squinted his eyes at me. "I still don't understand why."

"Because I've lost everything, Gale." I said, my voice cracking. "And seeing you there, trying to kill me... it made me realize that I've truly lost you as well. Good night."

I turned back around to walk again and this time, he didn't stop me.

* * *

_A/N: Yeah, okay. This chapter is kinda/sorta a filler and I'm sorry about that. It's really hard to pace this story so I'm trying my best. This story takes place in district 13 like Mockingjay and they will make propos and have talks of a war and all that good stuff but I assure you, this IS NOT Mockingjay. It may be similar but yet, very different. Let me know what you all think now that Gale is back! Will he come around? One minute he seems just confused and the next, he's freaking out. Poor guy._

_P.S- Can I get a holler for the rebels; The Fantastic Six? You can bet Gale won't have any of that crap!_

_REVIEW AWAY!_


	4. Chapter 4

The stupid schedule on my arm told me to head towards Command. I sighed and began to walk in that direction. I saw Madge come besides me and eyed her curiously. She held up the schedule on her own arm and I nodded. Apparently, I wasn't the only one headed towards Command. I spotted Peeta next, coming towards us. My heart dropped a little when he stood next to Madge, instead of me. I should have been used to his coldness but I wasn't. I never got used to it.

When we reached Command, none of us were surprised to see Finnick and Haymitch. There were a few guards there as well. And of course, President Coin. She stood at the head of this long, sliver table that reminded me of the Capitol. Her lips were set in a thin line and she was staring at the ground with her arms crossed over her chest. When we all took our seats, she spoke quietly but sternly. "As you may have heard, the five of you and Gale, who couldn't be here for obvious reasons, are begin referred to as the Fantastic Six all through the districts. They found the rescue of the four tributes to be an act of rebellion and bravery. You six have become somewhat of a symbol. Therefore, we are going to use this to our advantage in this upcoming war. We will film propos of our famous little rebels to rally up the districts."

It was dead silent for a moment. Madge coughed uncomfortably besides me and then sighed. "No."

Every pair of eyes drifted towards her. Madge. Before the games, she appeared quiet and kind. And now, after the arena had ripped her to shreds, after her father had died for her, after Gale had turned against her, she was an entirely new kind of girl. She was fire. Hot and unpredictable fire.

She rolled her eyes and said. "Obviously _no_! Look, nobody asked me if I wanted to start this stupid rebellion in the first place and if you haven't noticed, Gale isn't really in the position to be flaunting in front of a camera talking about how much he hates the Capitol. What he hates is us! This is a terrible idea and I refuse to take part in it." She crossed her arms over her chest and leaned back into her chair, her eyes narrowed and her cheeks flushed.

Peeta tapped his fingers nervously on the counter for a moment before speaking. "She's right. Nobody asked us. You all just assumed. And if we try to include Gale in this, he'll kill us all."

Coin didn't seem thrown by their refusal. Instead, she eyed me impatiently. She was waiting for my response. I wasn't sure what to say or how I felt about any of it. I just wanted to back to my room and sleep. "Well?" She said, tapping her foot.

I sighed. "What's the point of these stupid propos again?"

"The districts need a foundation." She began. "If they are going to rebel, they need a rock solid foundation to fall back on. They need someone to turn to, someone to look to. They need a leader."

"Why should we do this?" Madge asked.

"Madge, they killed your father." Coin retorted. "_And_ they destroyed Gale. _And _your entire district."

Peeta's eyes shifted to the ground. "And my family." Then he sighed and said, "_And _my district, too."

"So this our best option? To fight fire with fire?" Madge asked.

Is that what we were doing? Where we just as bad as the Capitol if we fought back like this? Of course not. We were working for the good of humanity. They were working for the bad of it. We needed to do this. We had to stop this while we had the chance.

"Except we're not fighting with fire. We're fighting with water." I said, glancing up at her. "We need to extinguish their flames. We... have to stop them."

Madge thought about this for a long time, her eyes on the floor. She looked up at Peeta and he nodded slowly, signaling he agreed with me. Madge exhaled and then glanced up at Coin. "Fine. We'll do it. But Gale is still in no condition to-"

"Then make him in the condition." Coin said sharply.

"How?" Madge asked.

Haymitch leaned into the table. "By being yourself. You know him the best out of all of us. Make him see that we are not the bad guys here."

She shook her head. "I've tried. It's impossible."

Finnick leaned in and said to her softly, "Hey, nothing is impossible. I got my Annie back. I never thought that would happen. Try to think of something he may have told you in the arena. Something that would make him believe you."

Something crossed over her expression. "That... that might actually work." She even smiled and I saw that familiar spark return to her eyes. She was hopeful again. Even if only for a moment.

"Back to the propos," Coin said with an annoyed sigh. "We will need to get started as soon as possible. We even brought in your stylists to-"

"Marker is here?" I asked, suddenly standing to my feet in excitement. I saw Madge stand as well in anticipation of her stylist.

"Yes. And Peeta's stylist, plus Madge and Gales. They are Capitol Rebels now."

"Such a fancy term, don't you think? It really suits me, I feel." A familiar voice said from behind me. I smiled as I ran towards Marker, throwing my arms around his neck and pulling him close. I hadn't realized how much I had missed him until he was right in front of me.

"Marker! You... you left the Capitol? To come _here_?"

He smiled and said softly, "Not without my beautiful wife, of course." Kinslee appeared from behind him and I hugged her tightly as well.

"Nice to see you, Katniss." She said sweetly, her black hair falling down her back. It was longer than before. She must've got extensions.

"I can't believe you guys are here." I said with a smile.

"It wasn't easy." Marker said, sharing a glance with his wife. "But we made it."

"Cinna!" I heard Madge squeal from behind me as she raced towards her stylist now.

Peeta hugged Castle, his stylist as well. It was quite a reunion we were all having.

Marker touched a strand of my hair and smirked. "I see you let your hair go terribly dry." He said teasingly.

"It wasn't like I was fighting for my life or anything." I replied lightly.

"Of course not. Let's go make you pretty for the cameras again, shall we?"

* * *

After I talked with Cinna for awhile, he let me go speak with Gale. After all, we needed him if these propos were going to be a success. I wasn't afraid like last time. No, this time I was determined. Because this time, I was going to convince him of the truth. And I was going to get him back. My father was gone, yeah. He was dead and he was never coming back. I had thought Gale was a lost cause but he wasn't. There was still hope. He could still come back to me.

When I reached his room, he was laying on his bed with his eyes closed. They opened immediately and he opened his mouth to say something. Probably to yell at me. I beat him to it.

"You told me a story in the arena." I blurted out, my hands pressing against the glass. Gale's mouth shut and he stared at me, the confusion crossing his expression. I continued. "You... you told me about you and your brothers. How one night, it was raining and storming really hard, like it was in the arena that night, and you crawled under this big tree outside of the seam..." My eyes narrowed as I tried to recall the memory. "You said you talked until the sun came up. And it was the best night of your entire life." I glanced up to see that Gale had moved from his place on the bed and was now standing directly in front of me, nothing but a thick layer of glass separating us.

"I..." He glanced towards the ground. "I told you that?" He asked quietly.

"Yes. You did. How would I know that story otherwise?"

He stared at the floor for a long time before he spoke again. Then, he said, "Tell me something else"

I bit my lip as I tried to think of something else he had told me in the arena that would get him to believe. The first thing that popped into my mind, I blurted it out. "You told me about how you wrote me a letter once. To thank me for saving you."

This got Gale to glance up and meet my eyes. They looked so different this close to mine. They were still a gray, but they had lost their shine. They had lost their sparkle. His face was whiter than before and he looked older. Like the stress had just wore him away and shed off ten years. I wanted to cup his face in my hands and kiss those chapped lips. I wanted to tell him that together, we would get through this. Together, I would pull him back to reality and out of this nightmare he was caught in.

Together.

But then, Gale slammed his fist into the glass so hard, I shrieked and jumped back. That familiar angry look returned to his eyes as he spat his words at me. "I _never _wrote you a letter! Why would I write you a letter? You helped me out once, it wasn't a big deal. You're lying. You... you must've got that other story from one of my brothers!" He yelled.

I shook my head. "No, Gale... no. You told me that story! In the arena! You were in the games, why can't you remember that?"

"I was _never_ in the games and I _never _wrote you some pathetic love letter." He retorted. "You rebels think you can just slam your lies down my throat and I'll just accept them for the truth? Well, you have another thing coming if you think that, Princess, and-"

My heart dropped to the bottom of my chest. "What did you just call me?" I asked slowly.

He stopped talking and glared down at me. "What? Princess? Why the hell are you looking at me like that?"

I couldn't speak. My mouth had went dry. I ran my fingers through my hair as I let my heart beat return to normal. "You called me Princess. You... you used to..." I couldn't even get the words out. I coughed. "That's what you used to call me. Princess."

Did he remember? He had to remember. Maybe not on the surface level. But somewhere, deep down, he remembered without even realizing he did. I had hated the nickname. But now, it sounded like honey on his lips. I could listen to him say it for the rest of my life.

Gale snorted. "I heard that drunk Haymitch call you it. Don't flatter yourself. I hardly even know you. Why would I have a nickname for you?"

I refused to believe it. Maybe he had heard Haymitch call me Princess but still, Gale knew, he knew in his heart of hearts that he used to call me that as well. You don't forget some things, right? No matter who or what threatens to take them away from you.

I moved my hand so it was on top of his own through the glass. He noticed and removed his immediately but I didn't care. He had called me Princess. He had called me Princess. "Gale," I began softly. "If you stopped trying to fight it so hard, maybe you would see the truth. I know you're in there somewhere, screaming to come out. Well, please. Come out. I _need _you. Dammit, Gale, I need you so much, it hurts. It hurts to breathe and to speak and to... live." I said quickly, the words spilling past my lips on their own accord. "I won't give up on you. I won't give up on _us._ You can fight me all you want. You can call me names and threaten to kill me but I'm not going anywhere."

"This is all part of the rebels plan... you're trying to trick me." Gale attempted to say sternly but only I could catch the way his voice wavered a little. Like he was a little unsure of his own words. Like he was trying to believe them himself still.

"I still believe in you, Gale." I whispered. "Just... think about the things I've told you tonight, alright? Just humor me and at least consider the possibility than we aren't the ones you need to be trying to kill. Goodnight." I smiled at him before walking away.

Maybe he didn't believe me yet. But he would. Because he was Gale. He was a fighter. He was strong and determined. He would come back to me. He had to. As I thought this over, I walked with my eyes on the floor, the white tiles beneath my feet. It was then, when I wasn't paying much attention at all, that I ran straight into somebody, practically plowing them over. My head smacked into their chest.

"Whoa, there, speed demon, watch where you're going, tiger." It was Kyler.

I stepped back and rubbed my head. "Sorry. My mind was elsewhere."

He smiled. "Clearly. Good thing you ran into me instead of one of the walls. We don't want one of the rebels getting a big bruise on their face, now do we?"

I found myself rolling my eyes. "Of course not. Don't want to ruin my image."

Kyler smirked. "Anyways, it's funny that we ran into each other because I was looking for you. I come bearing a gift." He pulled out a small paper bag from behind him and handed it to me.

I opened it and found three rolls. They were fresh, too. Still warm. I smiled up at Kyler. "You are seriously going to get yourself kicked out of here."

He shrugged. "It's worth the risk in my opinion."

I laughed and picked up one of the rolls and took a bite. Delicious. "This is the best roll I have ever had in my life."

"You're welcome." He said dryly.

I laughed. "Sorry, where are my manners? Thank you, Kyler." I said in a sing-song voice.

"I did search for some chocolate but sadly, I came up empty handed." He added.

"These work just fine. But don't come crying to me if they figure out you stole these and make you leave."

He rolled his eyes. "If I do get kicked out, I'll just go live in the woods."

I took another bite. "You wouldn't survive a day in the woods."

He shoved me playfully as we began to walk. "Probably at least three, thank you very much." He paused for a moment and then asked, "Where were you just now, anyways?"

"Seeing Gale." I said with a sigh.

"Oh, yeah? How'd that go?"

I shrugged. "Better than last time. I think... I think he will come around eventually. He just needs time. But Coin doesn't have time. She wants him better now, which isn't possible."

Kyler nodded and then shoved his hand into my bag of rolls and grabbed one. I glared at him but he only smirked and took a bite. "Well," He said as he chewed, "Coin can't control how quickly Gale gets better and she doesn't want to tick you off because then she'll lose one of her precious rebels. So really, you're more in control here than she is."

"I guess you're right." I said quietly.

"Hey, I'm always right, Miss Madge." Kyler joked. "Anyways, I should get back to kitchen duty before they figure out I'm gone. Just wanted to give you those rolls."

"Thank you, Kyler. Seriously." I said with a genuine smile.

He smiled back and I noted how similar his smile was to Peeta's. "Anytime. See you at later, alright?"

"Alright. Bye, Kyler."

"Bye, Madge." He winked before walking away, leaving me blushing and unable to wipe off the smirk on my face.

* * *

"I look twelve." I said before glancing back in the mirror. Marker had straightened my hair with a n iron. In their defense, there wasn't much in terms of hair supplies floating around District Thirteen. They had to make do with what little they had brought from the Capitol. I touched my now perfectly straight hair and ran it through my fingertips. It felt so smooth.

Kinslee touched my shoulder gently. "You look fierce. You look like a rebel."

Marker began to outline my eyes in a dark blue liner. I sighed. "Are we filming a propo tonight already? I thought we needed Gale."

"Well," Marker began, "They are going to do one of just the District Four tributes today. You and Peeta, specifically."

I found myself fighting the urge to roll my eyes. "Oh, great." I wasn't looking forward to working with my former best friend who now wanted nothing to do with me.

He applied a gloss to my lips to make them shine. He then worked on the rest of my face for what seemed like an eternity. When he spun my chair around and let me face the mirror, I gasped. I was an entirely new person. Dramatic blue eye-shadow, high cheekbones, shiny, silky hair. I _was _fierce.

"I... I don't look like myself at all." I managed to say.

Marker smiled. "You're still there, Katniss. And don't forget that. Ever. You're still Katniss, alright?"

I nodded but kept my eyes on the girl staring back at me in the mirror. I wasn't beautiful, like when they did my hair and make up for the interviews. I wasn't even pretty. I was... bold and strong and... I was a rebel. Next, Kinslee appeared with a navy blue suit of some sort. I slipped into it and it hugged my curves and my legs, the material stretchy and easy to wear. It was long sleeve and went all the way up to my neck. The pants hugged my legs and my ankles. I looked like some kind of navy commander.

"Is this the right approach?" I asked as I studied my full outfit in the mirror.

"We just did as we were told, Katniss." Marker said. "We made you look fierce. That's what Coin wanted."

I sighed. "Alright. But if Peeta is matching me again, someone's getting a kick to the face."

The husband and wife duo exchanged a smirk and I groaned. Of course Peeta would be matching me. Of course we were still being presenting as a team, even though we were now far from it. When they led me out to our "stage", Peeta was sitting on a chair, looking just as miserable as I felt. He spotted me and stood up, but didn't come any closer. He was wearing the same outfit as me and his hair was slicked back.

Coin pointed for a man with a huge camera to come forward and he did so, positioning his lens. Our stage was just a green screen. Apparently, they were editing in the ocean or something cheesy like that to represent our district. Finnick stood to the side and was wearing sweatpants so I assumed he wasn't going to be in the propo at all. I supposed focusing on just Peeta and I would be more effective.

"Now, Peeta and Katniss, please go stand in the middle of the screen, if you would." The camera man said to us.

We walked to the middle and stood a few awkward feet away from me each other. Coin rolled her eyes. "That won't do. Stand next to each other. Hold hands."

Peeta and I both went to protest at the same time but from the look on Coins face, we knew it was no use. We stepped closer together and Peeta met my eyes before grabbing my hand. He was still as warm as I remembered but there was so much distance between us that even while holding his hand, I felt a million miles away from him.

A lady with red hair holding a clipboard waved her hand in the air to get our attention. "We need you to say what is written here." She held up a huge poster board with a paragraph written in deep black ink. It said:

KATNISS: The Capitol destroyed our home, District Four

PEETA: The Capitol destroyed District Twelve as well

KATNISS: The Capitol will stop at nothing to control you

PEETA: They will kill whoever they have to

KATNISS: You're not safe in their grasp and you never were

PEETA: Join us as we fight for what's true and fair and right

KATNISS: We are the rebels and we need your help

I sighed. It all seemed so robotic and fake. Someone called out, "Ten seconds!" I closed my eyes and took a deep, shaky breath. I could do this, right? I could dress myself up and straighten my hair and read lines off a poster board and be one of the Fantastic Six. I could because if I didn't, the Capitol would win. And all of this would've been for nothing; the Mayor's death, our capture, Gale's brainwashing. It would all have been for absolutely nothing. I had to do this.

"And we're rolling!" Someone said suddenly and I blinked to pull myself back to reality. We were rolling. I had the first line.

"Th.. the Capitol destroyed our home, District... District Four." I stuttered my way through the entire sentence, gripping hard to Peeta's hand in hopes that it would help me focus.

"The Capitol destroyed District Twelve as well." Peeta said in the most perfect delivery. He was strong and fierce, calm and smooth. He was so good at this kind of stuff. He always had been.

I stumbled through my next line as well. Peeta, once again, delivered his second line as smooth as possible. I was beginning to feel so frustrated. At myself for ruining my lines, at Peeta for being flawless with his, at this stupid cameraman for filming me, at Coin for making me do this in the first place. Peeta said his final line so it was time for my own.

"We are the rebels and... w-we need your help."

"Cut!" The director yelled and then raised his eyebrows at me.

I groaned. "I know I sucked, okay? Nobody needs to tell me."

Coin crossed her arms over her chest. "Clearly, we need to rethink this approach. Maybe we will just have Peeta in this first Propo. Peeta, could you say all the lines please?"

Peeta let go of my hand and nodded. I rolled my eyes and stormed off the set, racing back down the hallways of the district as angry as ever. I wasn't mad at Peeta. That wouldn't be fair. He had always been good with words. I wasn't exactly sure why I was so angry but I didn't care. I would be mad anyways, even if I had no good reason to be.

As I was storming back to my room, I noticed one of the TV's on the wall flicker on and the Capitol logo appeared. I sighed. This couldn't be good, whatever it was. I watched as President Snow greeted the country before cutting to shots of Peace Keepers lining up and firing their guns at dummies. The clip cut to another of Peace Keepers lighting off a practice bomb. Then, a clip of the uprising in four, and of course, the bombs that followed.

The screen cut back to the President. "If you're interested in keeping this country safe, you will learn from District Four and District Twelve. They rebelled and they were punished. Don't follow their misleading example. Instead, grow from it."

His words were vague but the subliminal message he was sending was strong. If you rebel, you'll end up dead, just like them. And the clips of the Peace Keepers? Well it was clear as day to me. We were here in thirteen attempting to rally up the districts to fight. All the while, Snow was already building his army. And they were strong and blood-thirsty and ready to fight. We would need more than just a few districts if we wanted to win this thing.

We would need the entire country of Panem.

* * *

_A/N: BLEH, sorry none of these chapters have been ending with cliff-hangers or surprises, like I am prone to do. They just aren't that exciting yet but they will get there, I promise. Also, sorry for a short-ish chapter. I have been busy and will be busy with college starting again tomorrow but I only have a few classes, so I will have time to update still!_

_Anyways, what are your thoughts on this chapter? How about Gale and Madge and Gale calling her Princess? How about the tension between Katniss and Peeta? Any new predictions? LET ME KNOW and wow, thanks for almost a hundred comments on only three chapters! That is AMAZING! Review away again please! I LOVE YOUR COMMENTS!_

_P.S- You guys were right a few chapters ago when I said to spot some of the orginal hunger games quotes. Where Peeta said to Katnsis "If you could only see the effect you have on people. The effect you have on me." That was a parallel to the "She has no idea the effect she can have" line from the actual books. But you guys missed one! When Katniss is talking to Finnick outside of the bomb shelter, Katniss asks if he loved Annie slowly and he says "No, she crept up on me." He says the VERY SAME thing in the original book (Either Catching Fire or Mockingjay, I don't remember) SO anyways, look out for more of those in upcoming chapters hopefully!_


	5. Chapter 5

"Madge, are you going to eat that?" I looked up from my plate of rice and glared at Kyler from across the table. He shifted his eyes to the floor awkwardly and then put his hands in his lap. "Sorry. Just asking." He mumbled.

"You're a food hog." I said as I pointed my fork at him.

"What? I can't help it if I'm starving all the time because they feed us all like we're four month old babies around here."

Peeta and I exchanged a smirk. I had become quite accustomed to Kyler and his never ending odd behavior. If nothing else, he was entertaining. And I needed all the entertainment I could get. We had been in District Thirteen for three weeks. Coin was still breathing down my neck about getting Gale better but there seemed to be little to no improvement in that department. I wasn't giving up though. I had promised Gale I would've give up on him and I knew I wouldn't. It was just unfailingly frustrating to visit him day in and day out, trying to get him to remember the games, remember whose side he was really on here. I had long ago ran out of words to convince him of the truth. All I could really do was hope he figured it out on his own.

"Shouldn't you be working, kitchen boy?" I asked Kyler before taking another bite of my dry rice.

He put his hand to his chest dramatically. "My official title is Chef Kyler, thank you very much. And no, I'm off duty right now. Your support for me is overwhelming, by the way."

I flicked a piece of rice at him in response. It landed on his shoulder and he picked it off and ate it. I rolled my eyes. Kyler's gaze must've spotted someone behind me because he leaned across the table to whisper to me discreetly.

"Uh, don't look now but Creepy Coin is currently killing you with her eyes."

Of course, I turned around and looked. I heard Kyler curse from behind me for ignoring him completely but I didn't care. Coin was across the cafeteria, standing in the door frame with her arms crossed over her chest. She was definitely staring at me, but she didn't seem to want to talk. Apparently, she just wanted to glare at me. Perhaps she wanted me to be bringing Gale back to reality instead of hanging out with my friends in the cafeteria but I needed to eat. I was human, after all. The thought of her standing there watching me made me go even slower, just to get under her skin a little more.

"She is sure in a hurry to start this war." I said as I turned back around.

Peeta sighed besides me. "Well, the sooner it starts the sooner it can be over, right?"

"Some wars in the past have dragged out for years and years, you know." Kyler commented as he stuck his fork into my rice and took a bite without my approval.

"That's comforting. Thanks for that, Kyler." I said with a playful smile.

He shrugged. "Just saying. I wouldn't expect some clean, quick, little rift."

"I don't. But something tells me the Capitol will want this to end as soon as possible as well."

Kyler nodded. "Good point. You finished with that rice yet?"

I sighed and shoved the bowl of rice over to him. He was never going to stop asking me anyways. He gave me a thumbs up before he devoured the rest of it in under a minute. I laughed and called him a pig, to which he said was a compliment. When I stood up to leave, Kyler said he would walk me to my room. I shrugged and he followed me out into the hall. Coin was gone by the time we reached the door, thankfully.

"Hey, uh... I don't know if you've heard but someone came up with the bright idea of starting a support group. For you know, the people here who have lost family members in the last month. The first meeting is later tonight. I didn't know if you were interesting in going. I'll be there, though."

I looked down at the ground as we walked. "I... I don't really know what I would say."

Kyler shrugged. "You don't have to say anything if you don't want. Sometimes, it's just enough to be surrounded around people who know what you're going through, you know?"

That made sense. It was hard to deal with my father's death when I talked to people who still had a father. They didn't understand. They couldn't possibly. And that wasn't their fault of course. It was just the way things were. It would be nice to hear from people who shared the pain. Who understood that gaping hole in your chest that never seemed to leave you, that lump in your throat anytime you swallowed, that feeling in the back of your mind that told you nothing would ever get better ever again.

"Okay... I guess I could check it out with you." I said softly, my eyes still on the floor.

"Good, Madge. That's good. And hey, if it's stupid or awkward or just endlessly horrible, we can sneak out and go steal food from the kitchen. Deal?" He held out his hand.

I smiled up at him. "Deal." I shook his hand firmly and then we stood face to face, our hands still together for a moment before he pulled me into a hug. It was quick and friendly and the only thing I could register about the exchange was how much Kyler smelled like mint. We pulled away and I went to our separate rooms.

I took a warm shower and then laid in my bed, attempting to nap. I had the afternoon off because I was supposed to be spending all my free time with Gale. And I did spend a majority of my time there but, it was getting to be too depressing. And part of me wondered if I stayed out of his way for a few hours, maybe then he would start to remember something. I mean, how could he possibly remember when I was constantly in his face?

I missed him so terribly much. It was so odd, however. Seeing him, hearing him talk, but still feeling like he was miles away from me. Because he was. The Gale in the glass room wasn't the Gale I fell for in the arena. He didn't make me laugh with his witty remarks, he didn't make me blush with the way his lips felt on my lips, he didn't make me cry with his stupid confessions of love for me. The Gale behind that glass was a Gale the Capitol created to break me apart. And I wouldn't let them. They had taken my father and they had changed Gale but they would not break me. I wouldn't give them the satisfaction.

I eventually did nap. And I dreamed of my father. I dreamed of us standing in our kitchen, making a strawberry pie. I dreamed up his smile and his laugh. I dreamed up his black tie and white button up shirt that he always wore to work. I could even smell him in my dream. He wore a black berry scented cologne my mother bought him one year for his birthday. When I pulled myself out of the dream, I missed him even more than I did before I fell asleep. This made the hole in my chest ache more.

Kyler knocked on my door a half hour later. We walked in silence to the meeting room. I think we were both nervous, although Kyler would never admit something like that. He wasn't even trying to crack a joke, which was strange for him. He held the door open for me when we reached the room and I gave him my best reassuring smile. We stepped inside.

I had been expecting a small circle of chairs and a few people, maybe. Instead, there was long tables surrounded by chairs and people everywhere, walking around and talking, drinking tea and nibbling on crackers. It was loud and felt more like a party than a support meeting. Kyler got me a cup of tea and we stood in the back awkwardly.

"This is like those school dances where you don't have a date so you stand at the wall like a loner." Kyler mumbled to me.

I smiled into my cup. After I took a small sip I said, "Like you ever went to a dance without a date."

He laughed. "Good point. I was a ladies man in my younger years." He turned and winked at me. "Still am." He teased.

I threw my head back and laughed. Something about hanging out with Kyler always put me in a good mood. Just then, somebody clapped loudly to get the rooms attention. The noise died down and everyone stopped eating crackers. We were then directed to form small groups and sit down next to each other at a table. Kyler and I teamed up with two girls who had tan skin and lots of freckles. They had long, sun-kissed hair. I assumed they were survivors from District Four. They were twins. They didn't seem to know Kyler, however.

The lady at the front of the room then told us to introduce ourselves and tell the story of our loved ones passing. It was good, she said, to get this out in the open right away. I closed my eyes. I didn't want to get this out in the open right away.

Luckily, the twins went first. The first one was named Mayla. She was a fast talker and she kept tearing up, which made things even worse for everybody. I gripped my knees underneath the table to keep myself holding on.

"And then, we were running back towards our house to get our little brother and our parents. But... then a bomb went off and blew us backwards. We had to... we had to watch our own house burn the the ground with our family in it. Our brother.. he was only twelve." That was when Mayla broke down into violent sobs.

I wanted to leave.

Kyler took once quick glance at me before he began speaking. I was assuming he was going next so I wouldn't have to. I couldn't have been more grateful.

"Katniss and Finnick came into my families fishing shop and were trying to get my father to come join them." He began in a softer voice that I was used to him having. "But he wouldn't. Because of the shop and because of my mother and just because he was afraid. He had always been afraid." Kyler was looking off into the distance now. His voice was low but steady all the same. "I decided to go with Katniss because I knew fighting the Capitol blindly like that would only end in death. My father stayed behind. When we ran to the hovercraft to get on, he called to us. He had changed his mind and had my brother, Luka, with him. But then the first bomb went off and they were gone. It was so...unreal. They were alive and then a moment later, they were..." He trailed off then, his gaze dropping to the ground, his skin suddenly pale.

His hands were shaking in his lap. I couldn't help myself when I reached out and took his hand into my own, intertwining our fingers. Just to let him know that I was there. That I understood. That losing your family is the most inexplainable feeling in the world and it sucks to go through alone. So I held tight to his hand and the color returned to his skin.

It was my turn. I squeezed Kyler's hand tight as I opened my lips. "My father... he's the reason I am here right now. He was the founder of the plan to break into the arena and save the tributes. He got us out of there with the help of Haymitch and Finnick and a lot of other victors too. He was at the Capitol serving as a look out when some of the rebels hijacked the control room to bomb the arena. Apparently, he was shot there and killed." I got out the words out quickly and with a shaky voice. "He died to protect me. And because of that, his death will always be on my hands."

Mayla wiped at her cheek and then shook her head. "You can't blame yourself, you know. That will only make it worse."

"Trust me," I whispered. "It couldn't possibly get any worse."

Her twin sister had yet to say a word and I had feeling she wasn't going to. She was just rocking quietly in her chair, whispering to herself.

Mayla managed to smile at me. "I hear it gets better. I'm still waiting for the better, though. Anyways, how are the rest of the Fantastic Six? You guys are a legend, you know."

I had to snort. A legend? All I did was run away from some bombs and then a hovercraft yanked me away from the arena. Nothing too legendary there. "I didn't do anything special." I mumbled.

"You don't need to. You and the rest of the group... you guys are MockingJays."

Kyler and I looked at each other confused. "What... what do you mean?"

Mayla cocked her head to the side, like she couldn't believe we didn't get it. "Madge, the pin you wore in the arena... the Mockingjay? It's everywhere now. On bracelets, on bread, on banners. It's the symbol of the rebellion!"

My free hand instinctively went to my chest to touch my pin but then I remembered I didn't have it. That I gave it to Gale in the arena after he said he was going to die for me and-

_Wait._

Gale had my MockingJay pin! And he didn't even know he did. I could finally prove to him with real evidence that he was in the arena with me. I stood up from the table so fast that my chair fell backwards.

"I have to go!" I said to Kyler and the twins.

Kyler looked around confused. "Like.. right this second?"

I nodded quickly. "Yes! I... I will explain later, okay? Thanks for this and for everything but right now, I have to go. We'll talk later!"

Kyler opened his mouth to respond but I was already running out the door and down the hall, practically tripping over towel carts and wires and people with a new determination. Because today, I would finally make Gale see the truth.

Because the truth was in his own pocket.

"Haymitch!" I practically ran straight into him on my way down the hall.

"What?" He asked dryly.

"I need you to let me into Gale's room. It's not enough to just be on the outside anymore. I need to be in there with him. He has something that will make him see the truth but I need to be in the same room as him."

Haymitch sighed. "Madge, I can't do that. Last time he came in contact with you, he tried to kill you."

"Yeah, well things are different now." I retorted.

"No. You want things to be different but they're not. What's to say he wont try to strangle you to death the second I open that door?"

I crossed my arms over my chest. "Because if he sees that I'm brave enough to step inside, he will want to hear what I have to say. You can send some guards with me in case he goes crazy. Please, Haymitch. I am _begging _you."

He stared at me for a long moment before rolling his eyes and sighing. "Fine. Whatever. But I'll be on guard and I'm bringing a weapon."

"That's Fine." I said. "Let's go then."

"I'm going to regret this. But let's go."

* * *

When Madge practically knocked me over in the hallway, I knew she was up to something. She raced past me and mumbled a sorry after she elbowed me and sent me flying straight into the wall. Haymitch trailed behind her, cursing. I brushed my arm off and walked towards my room. I had another propo meeting with Coin in an hour but for now, I had time to sleep.

Plus, I missed my sister and mother terribly. It had been forever since I had spent any amount of time with them. Just as I was passing the laundry room, however, I spotted someone sitting on the floor, their back leaning against the dryer. It only took a second for my eyes to focus and figure out it was Peeta.

I wondered if I should walk away and go unnoticed but then he spotted me, his eyes finding mine. I walked in the room and took a seat next to him on the floor. He didn't say anything for a long time and I was about to get up and awkwardly leave but then, out of nowhere, he spoke.

"Finnick told me they found my mother's body. She's confirmed dead now." His voice was hoarse and low.

"Peeta," I said softly. "I am so sorry." Because really, what else could you say to something like that?

"Not all the memories of her are bad, you know. She... she had her moments where she was a good person. Where she was a good mom."

I sighed and nodded. "I know."

"Kyler and I... that's all that is left of the Mellark Family. Three of the five dead. Just like that." He snapped his fingers and shook his head slowly, his eyes finding the floor. "It isn't fair."

"I know." I said again.

"I wish I could've just died in the arena like I had planned. You could be victor and all of this would be much simpler. No rebellion. No war. No dead family."

"But you'd be dead and I wouldn't be able to handle that." I said quietly.

"But I am one person. And look at all who have died at this point. Practically all of District Twelve. Most of four, a lot of eleven...I would swap my life for all of theirs in an instant."

"You can't think like that. I've been there, I've thought that way and Peeta, it does no good. It just makes everything ten times more miserable."

He closed his eyes and leaned against the dryer. I wanted to ask if we were okay again, if we were friends. I wanted to tell him that I wasn't putting myself in danger anymore. I wanted to tell him that I was going to fight for my life from now on because I had seen so many people get their own life taken from them. I wanted to tell him all of this but somehow, I knew now wasn't the time.

So, instead, I leaned my head against his shoulder. And he didn't pull away. And we didn't say anything else. And I didn't know if we were even okay again but it didn't seem to matter. Nothing mattered. All I knew was that I was laying my head on Peeta's shoulder and that made everything in our hopeless world just a little bit more bearable.

* * *

With Haymitch and a few guards behind me, I unlocked the glass door of Gale's room. He was leaning against the back wall, watching me carefully. He didn't seem to be on any verge of attacking me, however. I took this as a good sign. When I stepped inside, I took a few quiet steps forward. I was in the same room as Gale. He was only fifteen feet away, nothing separating us. The last time we had been together was that last day in the arena. It felt like years ago.

"Aren't you afraid I'll try to kill you?" Gale asked hoarsely.

I took another step forward and shook my head. "No."

"I could you know." He snapped, his arms crossing over his chest.

I nodded my head at this. "You could, I don't doubt that. But I don't think you will. Not without hearing me out first. You know it must be important if I made them unlock the door, right?" I was surprised by how steady my voice sounded.

Gale locked his eyes with my own. "Well then, go ahead. Tell me whatever lie you want to and then get out."

I shifted my gaze to a white dresser in the corner of the room. "Do you have the pants you wore in the Capitol? They were black and worn in." I didn't mention that they were the pants he wore in the arena as well, because that wouldn't do either of us any good.

Gale looked back at the dresser and nodded. "Yeah, they are in there. Why?" He asked.

I took a deep breath and placed my hands to my sides. Then, I took another step closer. We were only ten feet away now. "I know you don't think you were in the arena. But I gave you something our last day in there. And you put it in your pocket." I began slowly.

Gale narrowed his eyes at me. "You... put something in my pocket?"

I nodded. "A MockingJay pin. It was my token in the games. It was actually my aunts but... she died in the arena. I gave it to you, Gale. Could you at least check the pocket, please?" I could only hope the Capitol hadn't taken it away. I assumed they were a little too preoccupied with all the other events going on to even think about something as small as a pin.

Gale looked at me like I was completely insane, which I had expected. But nonetheless, he slowly made his way towards his dresser. He opened the top drawer and dug around for a minute before he pulled out the black pants from the arena. They had been so badly damaged that you couldn't even tell it was part of the tributes outfit anymore. Gale shoved his hand into the pocket, his face hard and unreadable.

And then, his hand stopped moving and his face changed. His expression faded into one of confusion as he pulled out the MockingJay pin. The pair of pants fell to the floor and he walked over to where I was standing. Just three feet away now. Gale was just three feet away from me. His eyes stared at the pin, his thumb running over the gold over and over again. Did he remember?

"Why did you give me this?" He asked without looking up.

I swallowed hard. I had been afraid of that question. I licked my lips before I explained. "We were down to the final four. You and me, Peeta and Katniss. You... you told me you would die for me. That I should be the one who got to go home." My throat began to tighten. "That my mother needed me. That my _father_," I choked on the word, "That he needed me too. So, I gave you the pin to make you brave."

Gale shook his head slowly and then said softly. "That doesn't make any sense. Why would I die for you?"

"Because you were in love with me." I said in a whisper, meeting his eyes. "Because you fell in love with me. And I don't understand how or when or why but you did. You loved me, Gale Hawthorne." I touched my cheek and it pulled back wet. And It was only then that I realized I was crying.

Gale didn't fight my words. Instead, he accepted them. He stepped a few inches closer to me and looked down at me, his eyes searching for something, anything to cling to. "And did you love me?" He asked as quietly as possible.

My lip began to tremble. I was instantly pulled back into the memory of that day. I remembered the way Gale kissed my lips one final time before he spoke.

_"I love you, Madge. And I don't know when that happened or how or what that even really means but...to whichever amount of love I'm capable of, to the best of my selfish ability, I love you. I've fallen in love with you. I'm never going to see you again so I want you to know that. I need you to know that. I love you." _

I closed my eyes and tried to fight the flood of tears that were coming. Gale couldn't even remember how much he loved me. Maybe he never did. Maybe he didn't even mean any of those things he said that day. But regardless, he was standing in front of me, asking me how I felt. I had never said it out loud. I had hardly even admitted to myself. But deep down inside of me, I knew. I just knew.

I loved Gale. I loved him more than I ever thought it was possible to love someone. I loved him and it hurt to love him. It hurt so bad. I loved him every moment of every day and I knew, without a doubt, that I would spent the rest of my life loving him. Regardless of if he ever came back to me, regardless of if he died or I died or whatever other horrible thing could happen, I would still love him. Always. Forever. Until the very end of time.

So, with teary eyes and wet cheeks, I answered him. "I loved you to the best of my selfish ability." Pause. "Still do."

I wasn't just crying now. I was fighting back sobs. I was seconds away from completely losing it. Standing there three feet away from the boy who I had so dangerously fallen in love with, the boy who had not only been brainwashed by the Capitol but who had also lost all his memories of the games and me, the boy who I had been trying so hard to come back to me, I nearly collapsed to my knees from the weight of it all slamming down on my shoulders.

He stared at me, his mouth hung slightly open and his eyes locked onto mine. He glanced down at the pin in his hand and then back up at me again. "I... I don't remember any of that. I... don't know what to believe." He said softly and honestly.

I shut my eyes. I didn't know what I was expecting to happen. Did I think that I would show him the pin and he would jump into my arms and everything would be magically okay again? I guess I hadn't really thought it through, hadn't realized how hard it would be to remind him of that day, remind him of how much he used to love me. I hadn't realized how much it would take out of me.

"I have to go." I said quickly before I turned on my heel and ran out of the room. I heard Haymitch say my name but I kept running and running, not sure of where I was even going. I only made it down two halls before I collapsed to the ground, the sobs wracking my body completely. It was the first time I had cried since the arena. It was the first time I had let the weight of everything finally crush me. It was the first time I had let the pain sink it.

I sat there, screaming and crying and slamming my fist into the wall until I was bleeding. Because confessing my love to Gale, reliving the memories of when he did the same to me, it was what I had needed all along to thaw. What I had needed to stop feeling so damn numb. To stop pretending like everything was okay, like I could handle this. Because I couldn't. I could not handle any of it.

I cried for my father. My father who had died for me. My father who had only wanted me to get the chance at life he thought I deserved. I cried for every single tribute who died in the arena, especially the ones I had killed myself. I cried for Gale. I cried and cried and cried until my throat was raw, until my blood was running down the wall, I cried until someone scooped me up into their arms and carried me away. And when I could no longer cried, I screamed.

And when whoever had carried me laid me in my bed, I thrashed around and tried to push them away. Even when they tried to bandage up my hand, even when they tried to put a cool cloth to my forehead. I think at one point, I slapped them across the face so hard, they fell to the ground.

And when that person finally walked away and left me alone, it was only then that I finally stopped. And I fell asleep dreaming of a different world far far away. A world where my father still existed, a world where Gale still remembered how much he loved me, a world where there were no games at all. A world so far out of my grasp, I wanted to fly away and never return.

* * *

_A/N: WHEW. This chapter killed me emotionally to write. All these intense Gadge moments, dear lord. Anyways, who do you think carried Madge away at the end? What did you think of their interaction this chapter? What do you think will happen next? Will Gale start to remember?_

_Now, there wasn't much Katniss/Peeta in this but APPARENTLY, a lot of youskip over those parts? I am excited that you love to read the Gale/Madge parts BUT you shouldn't skip over the Katniss Parts. They are very important to the story! Nonetheless, I will try to keep those parts smaller than the Gale/Madge parts because even I have a tendency to want to write the Gadge parts more than the Everlark. I love both pairings but Gadge is really fun to write with their current storyline! :)_

_Happy Reading and PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE review!_


	6. Chapter 6

When they called us all to Command, we expected they would whine about another Propo they wanted us to do. That's what our lives had been like, anyways. Propo after Propo. Of course, none of them featured Gale. He was still locked up in his little glass room. I didn't think these Propo's were doing much good anyways. We were just standing in front of green screens spewing off lines written on cue cards. It was hardly the kind of thing that started a rebellion against the Capitol.

When I reached Command, everyone was waiting for me. Apparently, I was a little late. Nobody was sitting, however. They were all standing in a circle. Coin's eyes found my own and she said, "Glad you could make it, Katniss."

I blinked twice. "It's my pleasure." I said a little too harshly. Oh, well. Coin wasn't exactly my favorite person.

She forced a smile onto her face and then turned away from me. "Well, the reason I called you all here today is because we are sending you five to District Nine. There was a bombing there the other night when talks of rebelling reached the Peace Keepers who informed the Capitol. We want to film you guys in the remains there, talking to the wounded, all that type of stuff."

Just then, the door behind me opened wide and one of Gale's brothers, the oldest one, stood before us with a determined expression. "Take me with you. To Nine. Take me with you."

Every pair of eyes fell on the young boy. He couldn't have been much older than Prim. I wasn't sure where he had even come from or how he knew about our meeting in the first place. He was always hanging around his family. He had appeared quiet and calm but apparently not.

Coin lifted up her chin. "Excuse me? Who are you?"

"I'm Rory. Gale's brother. And I want to go to District Nine."

Another person appeared behind him now. Hazelle. His mother. She was out of breath and had clearly been chasing Rory. She mouthed the word sorry to Coin and then shrugged, like this was out of her control.

"Why?" I found myself asking.

"Because I'm sick of doing nothing." He stated simply. "My home got destroyed, my brother got brainwashed, I was forced to move here to Thirteen and now I do nothing but go to school and lay around. If this country is about to be in a rebellion, I need to be a part of it. Because I hate them too. Probably just as much as you guys do. I hate the Capitol." He said quickly, standing up a little straighter by the end of his speech. His arms crossed over his chest and I had to fight a smile.

Because he was Gale. He was Gale at twelve years old.

Madge was the one to speak up now. She even took a step towards the young boy. "Look, Rory, I don't really know you but-"

"You're right. You don't know me." He snapped back before she could even finish. Madge swallowed hard at his words. He sighed and said, "My brother is locked away in some glass jail. I'm not going to sit around and do nothing. I need to do this for him. I need to do this for myself, too."

Coin pursed her lips together and kept her eye on the young boy for a long time before she said anything. Then, she let out an exaggerated sigh. "And how does your mother feel about this?"

Hazelle threw her hands up into the air. "I can't talk him out of it. I've tried. I won't force him _not_ to go, if he is this determined. I just want him to be careful is all."

"Alright. You can go." Coin decided. Rory nodded his head and then mumbled a thank you before he turned on his heel and stormed of the room. Hazelle sighed to herself before she followed him slowly.

"We will leave in an hour. Prepare yourself." Coin said before she walked out of the room as well.

Peeta sighed from besides me. "Apparently, we are going to District Nine, guys."

I had to smile at his words. We all had this little joke about how nobody ever asked us how we felt about things before they just threw us into situations. I guess they assumed we would comply to their wishes. Peeta smiled back at me softly. Things had gotten a lot better ever since I found him in the laundry room. Well, he didn't seem to hate me anymore, anyways. We actually carried on conversations.

Finnick and Haymitch always kept their mouths shut when it came to our little jokes. I had never been entirely clear how they felt about this rebellion. Something told me they just gritted their teeth and went along with it all. They were the ones who started this mess in the first place when they rescued us.

"Better go get ready. Don't want to be late." I mumbled before we all headed towards the door.

All our little jokes and side comments ended the second we stepped off the hovercraft. Because the sight before us was enough to make anyone shut up. Bloody bodies were sprawled out everywhere on dirty cots. Their cries and moans were so deafening, you wanted to plug your ears and run far away. But that was selfish and unfair.

As I stared at the wounded all around me, I was brought back to the bombing in my own district. I was brought back to the sound of their cries, the horrible smell of blood and fire and death. I watched, once again, as Peeta's family caught on fire right before my eyes again. I turned around and ran straight for the hovercraft, shoving the others out of my way. I couldn't do this. I couldn't help these people! I couldn't look at their faces and give them hope when there was no hope.

Someone's hands wrapped around arm and when I turned, it was Finnick. He had the same look in his eyes that I did. The look of complete and utter fear. He swallowed hard and said, "I know, I know what you're thinking. It's too hard. It's too damn hard. But we have to do this."

I took a deep breath and then met his eyes. "Finnick, I don't know what I'm going to say to them. I don't know what I can do to help them. And how come that isn't _me_ laying there? How come I'm still alive when so many are wounded and dying? When so many are already dead?"

Finnick's hands went to my shoulders. "Hey," He said softly. "Hey, stop that. They have nothing left, Katniss. A lot of them lost their family in this bombing. A lot of them won't live to see tomorrow. If we have a chance to give them one last, microscopic moment of hope, we need to do that. They deserve that much."

He was right. I exhaled slowly before nodding my head. Finnick smiled softly at me before placing his hand on the small of my back, leading me back to the group. As we began walking towards the wounded, they all started whispering to themselves and to each other. Then, out of nowhere, someone began a clap. And others joined in. They were clapping for us! I wanted to run away again. We had done nothing. Why did they treat us like we were heroes?

One lady reached out to touch me as I walked past her. "Katniss? Is that really you?"

I touched her arm. "Yes. What's your name?"

She smiled. "I'm Mara. Is Gale okay?"

I nodded my head. "Yes, he's alright. He couldn't come today, though."

Her smile faded into a more serious and intense look. "You make sure to make the Capitol pay, alright?"

"Alright." I said quietly before moving on to the next person. They all said the same thing. They asked about Gale, making sure he was okay. Then, they all made me promise I would get the Capitol for this. I wasn't sure it was a promise I could keep. But seeing what the Capitol had done to innocent people, seeing their bloody faces and broken bones and missing body parts, it made me want to keep my promise no matter what the cost.

Apparently, the camera was filming us moving through the wounded but I hadn't even realized it. I guess I worked best that way. When I didn't know the camera was rolling. After an hour of talking with the sick, we were about to head back to the hovercraft. They had the shots they needed for another Propo.

That was when the bomb hit the ground fifty feet away from us. Directly on the wounded. We all watched in horror as the ground blew up before us, igniting on fire. I heard a familiar cry and whipped to my left to see Rory laying on the ground holding his leg. He must've been standing closer to the explosion than us. He had been hurt.

"Rory!" I screamed before rushing to his side. He was crying out in pain and when I glanced down, I saw that his entire calf had been burned badly. He was sweating and when he rolled his eyes and collapsed to the ground, I knew this was serious. "RORY!" I screamed again.

Haymitch ran over and swept the boy into his arms. "We need to get the hell out of here NOW!"

"But... the bomb... all those wounded... we need to stay and help!" I cried, pointing to the mess in front of me.

"Katniss, they are gone now. There is nothing we can do." He said quietly.

Another bomb exploded on the ground and I knew Haymitch was right. We had to get out of here before we were all killed. We ran for the hovercraft and jumped on quickly. We flew away before another bomb could hit.

Rory laid on the ground of the hovercraft, still unconscious. Madge was holding his hand and screaming at him not to die. "Don't you dare die! You're not allowed to die!"

When we landed back in District Thirteen, Rory was taken straight to the hospital. We notified Hazelle and she rushed to the hospital wing as well. I slumped against a wall with Madge and Peeta as we tried to process the last hour of our life.

"What the hell just happened?" I asked them softly.

Madge closed her eyes as she leaned her head against the wall. "The Capitol. That's what happened."

"But why did they aim at the wounded? They were going to die anyways!"

"Because they can, Katniss." Peeta said. "That's the only reason. Because they can."

I stood to my feet suddenly. "I am sick of this! I'm sick of these stupid Propos that don't do anything, I'm sick of watching everybody die! Why don't we just go to the Capitol and kill the president ourselves?"

Madge and Peeta stood up slowly as well. Madge's hand grabbed my arm gently. "Because we will all end up dead and nothing will change if we approach it that way."

"Nothing is changing now!" I screamed. "The Capitol won't leave us alone! They are murderers and they won't stop until every single person is dead, if that's what it takes. Any district who still believes they are working for the good of this country is clearly fooling themselves. We know who they are and what they are capable of! We don't need a tidal wave to start this rebellion, we need a Tsunami! We need to sweep the Capitol of their feet and we never every district to do it. We have to stand together in this."

Madge and Peeta just stared at me. And then, I heard it. Clapping again. I whipped around and saw a group of District Thirteen citizens clapping and smiling at me. And then, I saw the camera that was blinking red.

"And cut!" The camera man said. "That was brilliant, Katniss."

I turned back around and Madge and Peeta were smiling at me. "What?" I snapped.

They looked at each other and then back at me. Peeta shrugged. "Nothing. You just work best when you don't know a camera is rolling. That's when you're most real."

"Is that a good thing?" I found myself asking.

Peeta laughed and then grabbed my hand for the smallest of a second before dropping it. "It is _definitely _a good thing." He smiled warmly at me again before walking away with Madge. I couldn't help but blush at his words.

* * *

I knocked on the hospital door a few times softly. Hazelle opened it, looking beyond tired. She smiled at me gently. "Madge! It's so nice to see you!"

I nodded and stepped into the room, glancing at the sleeping Rory who was now attached to a million different machines. "How is he doing?"

She sighed and crossed the room to his bed. She sat down in a chair next to him and placed her hand on his forehead, brushing back his dark hairs. "The doctor said it's a third degree burn but he should be okay. He just needs time to heal." Her lip began to quiver. "I should have never let him go. I just thought it would help him feel like he was doing something, you know?"

I crossed the room myself and stood before her. "It's not your fault. None of us had any idea this would happen. The Capitol likes to work by surprise."

She nodded and fought back the tears. "I can only protect them so much. I am powerless when it comes to the Capitol." She stared at her son for a long moment before she glanced back up at me. "Gale was here a little bit ago. To visit Rory."

My stomach twisted into a knot at the mention of Gale. "So he knows what the Capitol did to his brother then?"

She nodded. "He knows. You know, Madge, even before this happened with Rory, Gale has been showing a lot of changes."

I narrowed my eyes in confusion. "What do you mean?" I hadn't seen Gale in a week. He had made in clear that he didn't believe me, even when I showed him the MockingJay pin. I had all but practically given up entirely on him.

Hazelle smiled softly. "I don't know to explain it. He's softer now. He... he doesn't talk about the Capitol being right anymore. I see bits of him coming back together, Madge. And I know I have you to thank for that." She looked up at me.

I shook my head. "No, that doesn't make sense. I did everything I could to get him to believe me and he still refused."

"Well," She said softly, "He must've thought about the things you've said because he's different now. Go see for yourself if you don't believe me."

And so I did. I walked to Gale's room and although he had a guard by the door, the door was unlocked. That was definitely an improvement. Gale spotted me coming towards the door and he stood in the middle of his room, waiting for me.

I stepped inside and stood a few feet in front of him. His arms were crossed over his chest but Hazelle was right, the hardness was come from his face. He did appear softer. He sighed and began to talk quickly. "I still don't trust you. I don't trust any of you. But... I know now that I can't trust the Capitol either. They hurt Rory. He could've died today and..." Gale stopped talking suddenly, his voice catching. He swallowed and then continued. "And you guys saved him. So, thank you."

"You're welcome." I said without meeting his eyes. I still couldn't get the last time I was in his room out of my head. I couldn't erase the moment where I told him I loved him, where I reminded him of the time he told me he loved me too.

Gale sighed and said, "So, here's the deal. I'm going to help you with your little rebellion. But not for any of you. But for Rory and only for Rory. And don't think for a moment this means I believe you because it doesn't. I don't... I don't know what I believe and I don't think I ever will." He said, his voice sounding defeated.

I finally did look up at this. "People were asking about you in District Nine. They wanted to make sure you were okay."

Gale shook his head to signal his confusion. "Why would they care?"

"Because..." I began slowly and softly. "Because, whether you see it or not, people care about you, Gale."

This got him to meet my gaze. Like, _really_ meet my gaze. His eyes pierced into my own and I had to cross my arms over my chest to keep my hands from shaking. I missed those eyes looking into mine. I missed them so much. I loved him so much. I would never stop loving him so much.

"People like you?" He asked me quietly.

"People like me." I said, trying to hide the way my voice was breaking on even those few words. "You don't have to trust me, Gale. But if you're going to work with us, you have to at least consider the words I tell you are the truth, alright?"

"I can do that. For Rory." He did the strangest thing then. He almost smiled. Not quite. It was more like a a tiny smirk. But nonetheless, my heart melted and my breath caught in my throat. He was still affecting me, even after all this time.

"Okay." I smirked back at him before I walked out of his room. Things were different. Things were changing. And it was for the better.

As I walked back to my room, I stumbled upon Kyler leaving the kitchen. He still had his apron on. I hadn't seen much of him in the last week either but I had this sneaking suspicion he was the one who had carried me to my room. I wasn't sure because I had been so out of it but I had to ask him.

"Kyler, hey!" I said to him.

He turned and blinked, startled by my presence. "Madge, what's up?"

"Nothing! I...I haven't seen you around much. How are you?"

He clasped his hands together. "Uh... I'm fine. I really should get going to my room though. Peeta is waiting for me to play an intense game of cards."

"Kyler," I said softly, forcing his eyes to meet my own. "Did you carry me to my room the other night? Be honest."

He ran his hand through his hair awkwardly. "No, no... I didn't do that. That... that wasn't me."

I rolled my eyes. "Kyler." I said sternly.

He threw his hands up in the air and sighed. "Fine. Fine! It was me, alright?"

"Why didn't you just tell me?" I asked him soflty.

"Because then you'll know my secret, Madge." He said teasingly. "You'll realize that I am secretly a nice guy."

I laughed. "I already knew that. And I think I punched you in the face so... sorry about that."

He smirked. "It was a slap in the face, actually. But... it's okay. You were in pain. We do... crazy things when we are in pain." He replied.

"Well, thank you, Kyler." I smiled at him.

He smiled back. "Anytime, Madge." He began to walk away then but my voice brought him back.

"Gale's going to help with the rebellion now. He's changing. He's getting better." I couldn't fight the way my face lit up at the mention of this.

From the way Kyler was staring at me, I'm sure he noticed too. "That's great. It really is. He's... he's a lucky guy, Madge. He may not see that now but he will eventually." He said with a sad smile.

I blushed at his words and allowed myself to feel the warmth that accompanied them. I wasn't sure how to respond so I walked up and kissed his cheek gently. He closed his eyes at the gesture. And then I turned and walked towards my room, a unexpected happiness filling my lungs. I breathed it in and welcomed it. It had been a long time since I had felt something even slightly resembling happiness. I had missed it.

* * *

The news that Gale was now going to help us spread throughout the district quickly. It was the hot topic to talk about at dinner that night. Rory was going to be alright. Peeta and I appeared to be sort of friends again. Things were good.

After I showered for the evening, I went exploring through the district. I hadn't gotten to do much of that, although we had been in in the District for almost two months. I walked down halls I had never been down before, I slipped through doors that I had never opened. I got myself lost a few times but eventually, I discovered what appeared to be a storage room. Boxes were stacked up the ceiling. It was cold in there and instantly reminded me of the bomb shelter. For whatever reason, this comforted me. I had liked the shelter more than thirteen. I sighed and stepped inside, sitting on the floor and crossing my legs. I closed my eyes and leaned against the wall. I fell asleep like that for a few hours. I only woke up to the sound of a voice in the room with me.

"You've found my hiding place." The familiar voice whispered into the air. I opened my eyes and saw Peeta standing before me. His hair was wet and he was in comfortable clothes. He sat down next to me before continuing, "I come here a lot just to think and be alone. I don't know why but I like it in here. No noise, no Coin, no Propos. Just me and some boxes."

I smiled. "It's weirdly peaceful."

Peeta nodded. "Do you remember those nights where we would sneak out to the beach way after dark? Just to get away for a little while?"

I found myself laughing. "Of course. There is nothing like the beach at night."

"It's crazy, isn't it? Nobody's there anymore. Our home is destroyed, our fishing shops, our school. Everything." He whispered hoarsely.

"If I had known the day of the reaping would be our last time on that beach together..." I said quietly, "I would've took it all in, you know? I would've stopped to remember."

Peeta swallowed and then brought his knees up to his chest. "That's the thing, though. We never know. We don't know when it will be the last time we talk to someone, or the last time we say 'I love you' or the last time we laugh together. Our lives are not guaranteed. Not in our world, anyways." He licked his lips and then in a shaky, unstable voice, he said, "If I had known I would never see my family again, I... I would've let them know how much I cared. How much I loved them."

I grabbed his hand. "They knew, Peeta."

He sighed and then met my eyes. "Do you understand now? Do you understand why I was so mad at you for wanting to kill yourself? Why I was so angry that you didn't value your life? I was scared of our last, Katniss. I was scared of our last hello and our last goodbye and our last everything. I don't want to have to look back and remember all our last. Not yet." He said with tears in his eyes.

I let go of his hand and wrapped myself in his arms. I had forgotten what it felt like honestly. I had forgotten the warmth that always accompanied Peeta. I had forgotten the way his arms always made me feel instantly feel okay. I had forgotten and I had missed it dearly. We pulled apart, just slightly and I found his eyes again. "I'm not going anywhere, Peeta." I said firmly.

And then, because we were both hurting, because we both missed each other dearly, because we were both searching, aching for something to cling to, we kissed. And it wasn't sweet and gentle. It was passionate and forceful and full of more fire than I knew we were both even capable of. My hands slipped around his waist and pushed up his shirt until he took it off entirely, throwing it off to the side. Peeta's hands gripped my hips and pulled me on top of him so I was straddling him.

Our tongues collided in our mouths and our hands raked across each other. And even though I could feel his chest pressed against my own, he didn't feel close enough. We had never kissed like this before. It was an entirely new kind of desire. And as I trailed my kisses down his neck and his hands worked their way up and under my shirt, I heard Peeta began to cry.

Because this wasn't even about us. No, this kiss was about feeling anything at all, anything but numb. We had counted our losses, we had watch people blow up before our eyes, we had buried little girls in flowers, we had nearly escaped death ourselves, we had been through hell and back together. And now, all alone in a storage closet, we wanted to fight the nightmares in the only way we knew how; together.

As Peeta began to cry, the kissing stopped. I collapsed into his chest and held him to me tightly, desperately. Maybe this was Peeta's breaking point. Maybe this was what happened when you finally gave in to the pain. Maybe this had to happen in order for us to heal. I wasn't sure. But I did know that my best friend was breaking apart, and if I had to pick up the pieces than I sure as hell was going to.

As I held him to me, I began to cry as well. And if nothing good came out of any of this, if the war ended up killing everything and everyone, at least we would have this one moment where we cried together, where we broke down together, where we let the pain swallow us whole for just one moment together. That was the plan from the moment we entered the arena, right? We would go into this thing together.

And now we would go into the war the same way. Because without each other, we didn't make quite as much sense. Without each other, we didn't have a shot in hell at surviving.

* * *

_A/N: WOOO, hey, yall! Hope you liked this chapter, I enjoyed it. I figured since this story has been mega-depressing, we needed some new hope to cling to, ight? That's why Gale is FINALLY getting better and Katniss and Peeta are growing back together too! What did you guys think of this chapter? Favorite moments? Least favorite? As you can see this was pretty Katniss/Peeta heavy, so next chapter you can expect Gale/Madge stuff, as we get to see Gale joining up wit the rebels!_

_And yeah, Kyler carried Madge to the room. Sorry, he's just a really cool guy like that, alright? I love Kyler so much I can't even. He's such a dollface! Anyways, thanks for the amazing reviews and shoot me some more for this chapter if you could! THANK YOU! _


	7. Chapter 7

I found a piano.

I was more surprised that I hadn't noticed it before, actually. It wasn't hidden or tucked away in some dark room in the district. It was across from the cafeteria in the hallway. I saw it one day when I was headed to lunch with Kyler. I stopped walking entirely at the sight of it. It was old and covered in a thin layer of dust. I stood there staring at with my mouth hung open like an idiot as Kyler started at me, like I was utterly insane.

"Madge, are you okay?" He asked me, placing his hand on my arm gently.

I blinked and was immediately pulled out of my trance. "Huh? What?"

He smiled at me. "You're staring at the piano like it's the first time you've ever seen one in your life or something."

I forced a half smile on my face. "No, it's not that." I turned back towards it then.

He looked at it for a moment and then snapped his fingers. "Wait. In the games, you said you play, right? You said you play the piano."

I swallowed hard. Well, I _did_ play the piano. Back in the comfort of my house in District Twelve. Back when my father was alive and could hum along to the tunes I played. Back when I could run my finger through our shelf of music books full of sheet music. Back when I played hundreds of beautiful songs that never got old or boring. Back when my life was better.

"Not anymore." I mumbled. "Come on, let's get to lunch." I said as I pushed him into the cafeteria with me. He had tried to bring up the topic a few times more but I dismissed it. It wasn't something I was ready to deal with it yet.

That was a week ago. Everyday, I would walk past it and my heart would ache to feel my fingers on those keys. I dreamed of creating beautiful melodies again. I yearned for it. But I wasn't strong enough. And my fear kept me as far away from that dusty old piano as possible. Fear has a way of paralyzing you like that.

As I headed to lunch now, I walked past it quickly, trying my best to not even look at the cursed thing. Kyler's shift was ending in the kitchen and we were going to hang out. I spotted Gale sitting in the corner of the cafeteria with his family. Posy was sitting next to him, showing him a picture book of some kind. He was nodding along. I swallowed hard as he looked up and made eye contact with me. He held my gaze for a moment before dropping it entirely and returning his attention to the book and his sister. I sighed. At least he no longer had to be locked up. At least he no longer hated me entirely. At least he was _trying _to trust us. That was a start, right?

Of course, Coin had wanted to make Propo's the second she heard Gale was going to help us. She had been very eager about the entire thing. Too eager, in my opinion. His brother had nearly died and all she cared about was shoving him in front of a camera to have him declare that he was on the rebels side. Haymitch and Finnick had been able to talk her into giving Gale a week. Just one week to relax without the cameras and pressure. We didn't want to push him too far, anyways. He may have been better but he wasn't back to normal, by any means. He could freak out at any moment and try to kill us for all we knew.

"Hey, Rebel. Ready for me to _destroy_ you in a game of cards?" Kyler's voice kicked me out of my trance. I blinked and smiled at the blond haired boy who was now in front of me. He still had his apron on and it was soaked with soapy water. I eyed him curiously and he rolled his eyes. "I had to wash dishes tonight."

I snorted. "I thought you were a _chef? _Did you get demoted to maid?" I asked teasingly.

He stood up a little straighter and put on a dramatic accent. " No. I _am_ a chef. Actually, it's Chef Kyler Mellark, to you, mam." He said with a wink.

I let out a loud laugh and Kyler smirked. "Sorry, Chef Kyler Mellark." I said through another fit of giggles. "Let's go play some cards so you I can see you cry when you lose."

Kyler tickled my side and I laughed again, pushing him off of me. We started walking towards the door and when I turned back around for a moment, I saw Gale watching us carefully, his expression unreadable but intense all the same. I blinked quickly and turned back around, swallowing hard and ridding all thoughts of him.

We sat on the floor of Kyler's room, our cards sprawled before us. I shuffled the pile in my hands before laying one of them down. Kyler played a card on top of mine. "So," He began before he slapped down another card. "Did you hear that the Capitol is offering loads of money for your capture? For any of the rebels captures, actually."

I slapped down a card on top of his. I shrugged and tried to play the brave girl. "Doesn't matter. They know we are here but they won't come and get us. They won't declare war on Thirteen. We have the nuclear weapons. Do they want somebody else to come and try to capture us? Well, good luck with that." I said with fire in my lungs.

"How do you know they won't come? We are weeks away from a war anyways." Kyler asked before he played a winning card on top of mine. He threw his fist up into the air and did a silent cheer for himself.

"First of all, you're a dork." I said teasingly before gathering all the cards to shuffle them. "And second of all, I just know! I'm a genius, after all."

"A genius who just got smashed in this game." Kyler said with a proud grin.

"I was too busy answering your silly questions!" I said with a smile of my own. "Let's play again and we will see who gets smashed."

We played cards for the remainder of the evening but something wasn't sitting right with me after Kyler's comments. It was the idea that possibly, the Capitol would come and capture us. Was it possible that we weren't even safe in District Thirteen? Well... where were we safe then?

It wasn't until I was trying to sleep later on that I really let the fear get to me. I tossed and turned in bed as I tried to think this through. Mutually Assured Destruction. That was how Haymitch explained it all to me on the first day that we came here. The Capitol and Thirteen stayed away from each other because they knew that a fight between them would result in complete and utter destruction of the entire nation. Of course, we were planning a war already but nothing on the level of nuclear weapons. If the Capitol came to thirteen, they would be declaring a _nuclear_ war. And that would be deadly for everybody involved. The Capitol wasn't dumb enough to risk everything just to get us rebels in their capture, were they?

I was shaking. My teeth were chattering. I was scared to death. Suddenly and without thinking it through, I raced out of my bedroom door and down the hall. I wrapped my arms around myself as I walked down the cool and dark hallway that led to the cafeteria. It was near midnight. When I spotted the dusty piano, I knew what I had to do. It had been a source of comfort for me my entire life. When I was sad, angry, or even scared. And right then, I was terrified. I was terrified out of my mind and I knew I needed to play again. I knew it would bring me the comfort I was looking for.

I took slow and steady steps towards it, my heart beating outside of my chest. The floor creaked as I got closer and closer. I touched the edge of the shiny black piano and my hand came back covered in dust. I dangled my finger over the keys, touching them without making them sound. I sat down on the cushioned black seat. I swallowed back the lump that was already forming in my throat.

I had spent the last two months trying to separate myself from my past. I had cut off all my hair, I had lost my home, I was fatherless, lonely, broken. And the piano was part of that past. But sometimes, your past has to blend with the present. Sometimes, you have to go back in time and dig out the memory, no matter how painful. Sometimes, you have to bleed in order to heal.

I knew a song. A song my father had taught me when I was very young. It was simple, really. Just a few keys. But it was beautiful, haunting, majestic. I was already starting to cry by the time I let my finger press down on the first key. The sound rang out and echoed in the hallway. I smiled at the beautiful noise that it made. I had missed that sound. My fingers danced over to the next key and then the next and then the next. I was playing the song! I was playing it!

The song reminded me of nothing but my father. He was everywhere as I played. He was there as I closed my eyes and lost myself in the music. He was chasing me in our garden out back. He was sitting with me at the table, drinking coffee and reading the newspaper as I did my homework. He was holding my hand as I walked across the road when I was much younger. He was there. He was in the song. He _was_ the song.

I cried as I played but yet, I didn't want to stop playing. It was sad, of course. But it was freeing at the same time. I was freeing myself of the pain. I was letting go. I was letting the music bring relief to the dull ache in my chest. It was time. It was time to say goodbye. And goodbye didn't mean I had to forget. Goodbye just meant I had to realize that it was okay to move on with my life. It was okay to be happy again.

I hit the last key and my finger lingered, letting the note ring out for much longer then it needed to. I wiped at my eyes before letting my hands slip away from the keys all together. I was met with the haunting silence of the night.

"That was impressive." A voice said hoarsely.

My head whipped to the side. I hadn't realized I had an audience. I stood up at the sight of Gale before me. I must've woke him up with my playing. "Gale, you scared me." I said, putting my hand to my chest.

"Where did you learn to play the piano?" He asked me before taking a step forward and placing his hand on the edge of it, like I had done only moments ago.

I wiped at my face again. "My father. When I was very young."

He nodded but kept his eyes on the piano. "He died, right? Trying to save you, he died." His voice wasn't condensing. Instead, it was soft and quiet.

I swallowed. "Yes."

"You must be pretty special. I apparently was willing to die for you and so was your father." Gale said quietly, a sad smile playing on the edges of his lips.

I looked up at him. "So you believe me? About the games?"

He sighed and met my eyes for the first time. "I think so. I don't know, Madge. It's the weirdest thing. I don't remember any of it. I really don't. But... I believe you. You remember how you saved my life? And I didn't believe you when you said I was outside of the district?" I nodded my head. He continued. "Well, once I saw the Capitol for what they really are, I realized you were right. I remember now. I was outside of the district hunting and I got caught. You made up some lie about a necklace that got me out of trouble and then you took me to the hospital." He smiled at me.

"You were brainwashed. Your brain didn't want to remember the truth because it didn't fit with what the Capitol told you. But once you saw the truth about them, you saw the truth about that day as well." I explained for him.

"But how come I don't remember any of the games?" He asked, frustrated.

"They didn't just brainwash you. They took away your memory of the games entirely so you wouldn't remember whose side you were really on." I said with a sigh. "I just wish I could make you remember."

"Me too." Gale replied softly, locking his eyes with my own. He swallowed and said, "Anyways, that song you just played was... it was beautiful."

I smiled. "Thank you." I wanted to say more but I was still stuck on the way the word _beautiful_ had slipped past Gale's lips.

He nodded his head and then opened his mouth to say something. He closed it again and shook his head, changing his mind. Then, he opened it again, letting the words out this time. "So... why did you do it?"

I cocked my head to the side slightly. "Why did I do what?"

He took a small step towards me, his eyes glued to my own. "Save me with the necklace thing. All those years ago. You didn't know me. We weren't friends. So, why did you save me?"

I gave him a soft smile before I replied. "Because," I began, "You needed to be saved. And no matter who you were or where you came from, you deserved that. Everybody... everybody deserves to be saved sometimes, Gale."

He nodded his head but didn't say anything else for a few moments. And then, quietly, he said, "Have a good night, Madge." He turned and walked away then, leaving me standing there in the dark, the sound of the music still echoing through my head, running through my veins, pumping through my blood.

It didn't occur to me until I was back in my room and under my covers that Gale had just spoken to me like a normal person. It was almost like... it was almost like it used to be. He didn't remember the games or falling in love with me, but he still trusted me. He still believed me.

_But I had to make him remember. I had to make him remember that he loved me just as heartbreakingly as I loved him._

_I had to save him again. One last time._

* * *

Perhaps I shouldn't have been sneaking around. Perhaps that's why I heard what I heard in the first place. But nonetheless, I heard it. And I couldn't take that back. It happened early in the morning. I was sure nobody else was even awake yet. I slipped out of Peeta's bed and into the hall. We had been sleeping in the same bed again. Ever since our... kiss in the storage room. If you even called that a kiss. Because it was definitely more than just a kiss. It was much more.

But I didn't have time to decipher it. I had to get to the stupid showers. I was waking up early to get to the showers first. It seemed trivial, yes, but I hated having to take one when there was a hundred other girls waiting. I liked avoiding the crowd. I was just passing Command when I heard Coin on the phone. I slipped against the wall so I could listen without being seen. I only caught one side of the conversation of course.

"-and if we let them stay here?" Coin's voice said into the phone.

"I understand that but _you _listen to me. This is bigger than the rebels now. You are putting my life at risk now. You are putting the lives of every thirteen resident at risk!" She yelled.

"We are talking about a nuclear war!"

"My loyalty can only stretch so far. I have to draw the line somewhere, do you understand that? Because clearly, you're not grasping that concept."

"Well, fine. But if I get word that the Capitol...yes... of course...alright. Just know one thing, if this all falls apart, I am blaming you. Good day."

She slammed the phone down on the table. I heard her heels clacking and I ran off before she could come out and see me. Forget the shower. I had bigger issues now. As I walked towards Finnick and Annie's room, I tried desperately to make sense of what I had heard. Something was happening. Something that apparently was putting everybody's life at risk and Coin wanted us to leave. Something about a nuclear war. I sighed and picked up my pace, practically running to his room. I banged on the door a few times. Silence. I rolled my eyes and banged again. After another few minutes, the door opened.

Finnick, wearing nothing but his underwear, opened the door. His hair was disheveled and he had clearly been sleeping from the way he could barely open his eyes. And although I wasn't exactly attracted to Finnick, I still blushed at the sight of him practically _naked _in front of me.

He glared at me through his sleepy eyes. "It is five am. What the hell are you doing, Katniss?" He groaned his words.

I smiled at him innocently. "Sorry to wake you up. Actually, I'm not sorry. Because I just heard what could potentially be the most important conversation I could ever hear. I need to talk to you."

"At five am? You need to talk to me at five am?" He asked me, his voice thick with sleep.

"Yes, Finnick. Now get out here and talk to me, would you?"

He rolled his eyes and shut the door behind him as he walked out into the hall. "You could've done this at like eight or nine or ten, even."

"Oh, I'm sorry. Did you need more beauty sleep?"

"No. But you could clearly use some." He snapped back, motioning at my current state. I caught myself in the reflection of his door and cringed. My hair was falling out of my pony tale, my eyes had huge bags under them from lack of sleep, and my shirt was falling off of my shoulder. I was a mess.

"Good morning to you too, sunshine. Now, let me talk." I said as he rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest. I took a deep breath and then began, I heard Coin on the phone with someone. From what I gathered, she is thinking of kicking us out because for whatever reason, she is risking the lives of all the thirteen residents and herself if she allows us to stay here any longer. I heard something about a Nuclear war and something about the Capitol." I stood up a little taller after I finished. I was proud of myself, honestly. I had done something useful for once.

Finnick stared at me, completely un-fazed by my words. He blinked once, appearing utterly bored and then clapped his hands together. "Right. Well, now that you've told me something I already knew, can I go back to bed?"

He went to open his door and I grabbed his arm, yanking him back over to me. "What? What do you mean you already _knew _that?"

He rolled his eyes and threw his hands up in the air. "_Katniss,_" He hissed, "We knew before we even came here that it was a risk. We knew it wasn't permanent, by any means. We knew the Capitol would eventually break their little treaty with Thirteen and come try to capture us, okay? But this was the best option we had until we figured everything out. I'm well aware of the fact that the Capitol is offering up a very generous amount of money for our capture. They need us to scare the districts again. They need to kill us on national television. They need us now more than ever and they will do anything to get us. Even openly declare a nuclear war with Thirteen, which will be _massively_ destructive. Look, we were going to tell you guys all this at a meeting later."

I shook my head. "We don't have a meeting later."

"It's a secret meeting. One without Coin." He sighed and then said, "Look, we will just talk about this later, alright? Go be annoying somewhere else."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "You're a world class jerk when you don't sleep enough."

This got him to smirk. "Only with you, beautiful. I'll talk to you later." His voice was softer now. He opened the door and stepped back inside his room. He spun around on his heel with a huge smile. "Oh, and Katniss?"

"What?"

He leaned against the door frame in a dramatic and seductive pose. "Did you find my outfit... distracting?" He winked at me and I busted out in laughter.

"I'm only human, Finnick." I said through my laughter. "I'll see you later." I waved at him as I walked away.

* * *

Because nobody could wait any longer, (apparently the entire world would crumble if Gale didn't start doing Propos immediately) we were finally filming our first Propo with the final member of the Fantastic Six. Gale's week grace period had come to an end. I was nervous for him, to say the least. How would he react? What if he snapped and tried to choke someone to death? What if he snapped and tried to choke _me_ to death?

We all gathered on the set and stood in front of the stupid green screen again. We weren't allowed to film another Propo in the districts because of heighten security. We stood in a straight line, Finnick was at one end next to Katniss with Peeta on her other side. Then there was Me, Gale, and then Haymitch.

We all stood there awkwardly, adjusting our shirts and smoothing over our pants and fixing our hair. Basically, we were doing anything to keep ourselves busy. Eventually, the Camera Man came out to give us some direction. He began to speak but the set was loud and crowded with people. We couldn't hear a single word he was saying. Finally, some genius walked over and gave him a microphone. He tapped it twice before he spoke.

"Hello, Fanastic Six! This is our first Propo featuring all of you! We want a very basic shot. Simplicity speaks volumes. We are going to have you all join hands and walk forward, hand in hand, linked together as one. Because you _are_ one! You are the Rebels! We will edit this piece later with some different backdrops, hence the green screen behind you. Shall we begin? Join hands!"

I cursed him right then and there inside of my head. I cursed him and Coin and this entire Propo and the rebellion because, _really?_ I was supposed to grab Gale's hand? The last time I had touched him... well, the last time I touched him I thought I would never see him again. I thought he was dying so I could live. I thought I was losing the only boy I had ever fallen in love with.

I looked over at Gale now and wondered how we had managed to come this far in such little time. How we had started of the games as enemies, then grew into friends, then into something resembling lovers, then we lost it all. And now... now we were... well, I wasn't sure what we were anymore.

Gale turned and caught me staring. I swallowed hard and together, we glanced down at our hands. Slowly he reached for mine. When he found it, his fingers interlaced with my own, holding onto my hand tightly. The warmth it shot through me was immediate and overwhelming. I looked back up at his face but he wasn't looking at me. Instead, his eyes were fixed on our hands, his eyes glazed over and his brow furrowed. It was like he wasn't even there, though. It was like he was somewhere else... somewhere far away in his mind. After a moment, he blinked and let go of my hand quickly, flinging it away from him. It was as if my hand had suddenly became a hot flame that you jump away from. We hadn't even started rolling yet.

"I can't do this!" He yelled, shaking his head and stepping out of the line. We all stared at him, our mouths hung slightly open.

I took a step towards him. "Gale," I whispered.

"No!" He yelled, his voice strained. "I... I can't do this. I'm sorry." He looked at me and then to the camera man. "I'm sorry." He repeated quietly before he walked off the set entirely, leaving the rest of us in his trail, dazed and confused. I could still feel the warmth of his hand in my own. I cradled it in my other hand, as if it were a newborn baby.

"What just happened?" Peeta leaned over and whispered into my ear.

I sighed and shook my head. "I have no idea. He grabbed my hand and then freaked out."

Peeta hand squeezed my shoulder. "Maybe he just needs more time."

"Or maybe there's not enough time in the world to make him come back entirely." I whispered.

Because it was true, wasn't it? I was just playing pretend if I actually thought things were going to get miraculously better with Gale all the sudden. Maybe I was just too scared to see the truth. There was a large possibility that Gale would never come back to himself. He would never remember the games or his love for me and I would spend the rest of my life wishing he had.

We had to cancel the Propo for the evening, which didn't make Coin very happy. In fact, she was fuming. Oh, well. We had no control over Gale's emotions. I certainly didn't. One minute, he was complimenting me on my piano and using the word _beautiful _and talking to me like I mattered and the next, he was running away at the simplest touch of my hand. I just wanted Gale back. All of him. Every single part. Even the parts that drove me crazy.

Actually...especially the parts that drove me crazy.

I tried to head back to my room to sleep but Peeta grabbed me and told me we had a meeting. When I told him I wasn't in the mood to get yelled at by Coin, he smirked and said she wasn't invited. This got my attention. A half hour later, we all gathered in some back storage room that Peeta had found. He kept exchanging these looks with Katniss that had her practically blushing, however. And Katniss wasn't one to really blush.

Haymitch and Finnick had managed to convince Gale to join us in our secret, little meeting. He walked in but wouldn't meet my eyes. I stood up a little taller and told myself to get over it. We clearly had more important things to discuss.

Haymitch began to speak once Katniss shut the door behind us. "Alright, as some of you may know, the Capitol is sick and tired of waiting for somebody else to capture us. They have raised the reward for our capture but I don't think that gives us much time. They know very well if they come to District Thirteen to try and get us, they are breaking their deal with Thirteen and openly declaring a nuclear war. Nobody wants that. Not even the Capitol. There would be little to no survivors. However, that seems to be their big master plan at the moment. They need us back desperately to put order back into the country. If we stay here in Thirteen any longer, we are risking more lives than our own."

Katniss stepped forward. "Well, where can we go?"

He sighed. "Let me finish first, would you?" Katniss narrowed her eyes at him but nodded her head anyways. "Thank you." He said. "Now, we knew coming here to Thirteen was never a permanent option. Finnick and I saw it as more of a... holding cell for where we really wanted to go. We had much more research to do, however. We had many more phone calls to make, many more secrets to keep. So, we came here first. But now, our time here has to end."

Finnick cut in now. "What we are about to tell you cannot leave this room. Nobody is to know of this outside of your families who will be informed of this same news soon by me. What we are about to tell you isn't open knowledge in any way. In fact, it's a secret bigger than Thirteen. It's a secret so big, you probably haven't even fathomed the idea of it."

"This is quite the dramatic speech." I murmured to Peeta, who smirked at me in response.

"Cut the crap and tell us where we are going." Katniss said before placing her hand on her forehead, like all of this was giving her a headache.

Finnick and Haymitch exchanged a look and then a nod. Finnick spoke again. "Panem isn't all there is. There are more countries, more people, people who rebuilt after war and destruction destroyed the world before us. We are going to another country entirely. We... we are leaving Panem." Finnick finished.

* * *

_A/N: OH SNAP. What the puke is going on? You're probably thinking that. I hesitated with taking the story in this direction because I knew it would be difficult but... I wanted to do it. And I think it will definitely make it different than Mockingjay. I always thought Panem couldn't be all there was. Now, another country is going to help our rebels. Makes sense. Countries use to ban up together in wars all the time. And the rebels needed to leave thirteen to stop a nuclear war from occurring. Hope this all makes sense. If any questions, leave a review and I will try to answer!_

_So, Gale and Madge sort of take one step forward and two steps back, huh? Sorry about that. Everything will make sense with him, later. The way he reacted with the hand holding.. it WILL make sense. Sorry there wasn't much Katniss/Peeta but I was fairly heavy with that last chapter so you'll survive :p_

_PLEASE REVIEW and let me know what you think about this new development in the plot, what you think of Gale and Madge, of our cute little CLASSIC Finnick and Katniss scene, and of the chapter in general. LEMME KNOW! _

_P.S- All the nuclear crap confused me in Mockingjay so if it doesn't make sense here, I am sorry. I tried my best and hopefully I can clear up any confusion! Love you all!_


	8. Chapter 8

I dragged my packed bag to the storage room. There wasn't much in it, despite having lived in District Thirteen for a few months. I guess I had a problem with getting comfortable in places that weren't District Four. I lifted the bag up on my shoulder as I made my way to the room.

"Do you have _anything_ in there?" Peeta's voice called from behind me as I walked. I turned around and saw him nudge his head in the direction of the light bag on my shoulders.

I shrugged. "Not really." I switched the bag to my other shoulder.

He caught up next to me and laughed. "Nobody can ever accuse you of being materialistic, I guess. Any word on who will be joining us for our little trip?"

I sighed. "We'll find out in a minute, I think. I don't know how I feel about it, Peeta. Is it really safer for our families to come with us? District Thirteen is safe enough."

"Not if the Capitol comes and bombs this place." He muttered.

"They won't do that because we will be gone. That's the whole reasons they wanted to bomb Thirteen in the first place. I think Prim and my mother would be just fine here."

"In my opinion, you can't protect people who are out of your reach." He smirked and grabbed my hand, interlacing his fingers with my own. I smiled softly, letting his warmth radiate through me.

We reached the storage room. Madge was leaning against the wall, her bag at her feet. Nobody else was there yet. When she saw Peeta, she ran to his side immediately. "Is Kyler allowed to go?" She asked him quickly.

Peeta threw his hands up into the air. "I have no idea, Madge. Sorry."

She threw her head back into a groan. "The suspense is killing me! I just want to know. My mother is staying here regardless of what Finnick and Haymitch decide." She said quietly, glancing at the floor. Her mother wasn't getting any better. She wasn't getting any worse, either. But that was hardly a good thing.

Peeta glanced down at Madge's stuffed bag. "See, Katniss? This is how normal people pack when they go somewhere." His comment was meant to change the subject and make Madge feel better. It must've worked because Madge smiled at him and then challenged Peeta to lift up her heavy bag with one hand. Of course, he easily could.

It was another ten minutes before the rest of the group came down the hall. There was Haymitch and Gale first. And then, Finnick came leading a group of people; Annie, Gale's mother and siblings, Prim and my mother, and lastly, Kyler.

"Kyler!" Madge practically shrieked before jumping into his arms. Kyler laughed and spun her around in a hug, her feet lifted off the ground. I noticed Gale watching them with a confused expression. He blinked quickly and shook his head before he looked away. "You're allowed to come!" Madge said with a huge smile, after Kyler put her back on the ground.

Kyler waved it off like it was nothing. "Well, of course. I couldn't let you rebels steal all the fun."

"Plus," Finnick added as he wrapped his arm around Annie's waist, "We decided that leaving the family members of us rebels here would put them at an unnecessary risk. They might try to capture them and get information or use them as bait."

Madge's face drained of color. "But my mother is still here..."

Haymitch stepped forward and put his hand on Madge's shoulder. "She's been moved to a secret, hidden room and has two guards at her bed at all times. Plus,the Capitol will be under the impression that all the rebel members and their families have left Thirteen so they won't even know she's there, Madge. She will be safe."

Madge swallowed hard and nodded her head, but she still didn't look completely convinced. I grabbed Prim's hand and pulled her into my side. Taking everybody with us was definitely the right decision. Peeta was right. I couldn't protect my family if they were thousands of miles away from me.

Haymitch explained to use how a letter was left to Coin, explaining that we were leaving and she was to notify the Capitol to ensure that they would stay away from Thirteen. After all, they were only going to start a nuclear war to get the rebels. If we the rebels weren't there, they had no reason to break their treaty. He still made no mention as to where we were going. I guess it was unsafe to talk about it while we were still in Thirteen.

We boarded our hovercraft then. It was bigger than our other ones, but we had a lot of other people joining us this time. My mother and Prim took two seats in the back. Gale's mother sat next to my own, with her youngest child, Posy, on her lap. Prim began to play with her and I smiled at the sight.

Gale's brothers sat next to their mother but I watched as Gale took a seat alone on the other side of the hovercraft. I walked over and took the seat next to him. He looked over at me but didn't say anything. I swallowed hard before I began to speak.

"You know, this whole brooding boy thing only worked when you still believed in the Capitol."

He narrowed his eyes at me but then realized I had only been joking. He relaxed and glanced out the window. We were beginning to take off. "Just because I like to be alone sometimes doesn't make me brooding." He muttered, his eyes still glued to the window.

"I know you've been through a lot, Gale. But... we all have." I found myself saying.

He turned to look at me now. "But you remember it. Do you have any idea how frustrating it is to be told all these things that you can't remember? All I hear all day is '_You're a Rebel, you hate the Capitol, you were in the games, you were going to die so the girl you loved could live'_.. none of it makes sense to me. So I won't apologize for being a little less than friendly to everybody." He snapped at me, his eyes narrowed once again and his cheeks red with anger.

I nodded my head slowly. "I'm not trying to make you remember, Gale. And I'm not trying to tell you what to feel. Just know that this isn't easy for any of us. And if you took the time to get to know us, you'd find we aren't all that bad."

Madge laughed from across the Hovercraft and Gale's head shifted in her direction immediately. Kyler was trying to do one-handed push-ups but kept falling on his face. Madge was on the floor, laughing hysterically at his failed attempts. Gale watched them silently.

"It's okay to be jealous." I said quietly.

He snapped his head back towards me. "I am _not _jealous, alright? I just find it all a little confusing and interesting. She claims that she is so in love with me but then I see her with this guy all the time, laughing and carrying on. Doesn't make her case very convincing."

"Kyler's not the enemy, Gale. He's a good guy."

"Whatever." He mumbled. "Why the hell are you sitting by me anyways? Shouldn't you be with one of your friends?"

I nodded my head and leaned against the back of my seat. "I _am _with one of my friends, Gale." I said quietly before closing my eyes. And when I didn't hear him object or say anything else, I had to smile.

* * *

"Gross, Madge. Wake up. You're drooling on me!"

I blinked a few times until my eyes adjusted to the light. My heart caught in my chest when I didn't recognize my surroundings. Then when I saw Peeta next to me, I remembered we were on a hovercraft over to another country. Because apparently, those existed.

I wiped at my face and glared at Peeta. "I was_ not _drooling."

Kyler, who was on the other side of me, draped his hand over my shoulder. "Actually, you were. On top of your snoring."

"I do not snore!" I protested, giving him a hard glare.

Kyler looked at Peeta and they both started to laugh. Okay, so apparently, I snored. I crossed my arms over my chest and tried to think of a quick comeback. I studied Kyler and said the first thing I noticed. "Yeah, well.. your shirt is... wrinkled."

He smirked and I had to fight the urge to smack him. "That hurts, Madge. Right here." He put his hand over his heart and I nudged him in the stomach lightly.

Peeta sighed from beside me and when I turned, I saw him glancing out the window. "I just wish they would tell us where we are going and what it's like."

"Hopefully nothing like Panem." I mumbled.

He turned away from the window and slumped against the wall. "Can you even imagine it? A word without the games? A world without the Capitol?"

I couldn't. Because if it wasn't for the games, if it wasn't for the Capitol, my entire life wouldn't have been flipped upside down and then smashed into a million pieces. If we lived in a different world without the poison of the Capitol, we would all be entirely different people with entirely different lives.

"I can't." I admitted. "But I bet it's a better world than this one."

Just then, Haymitch appeared in front us. "Here. Eat a sandwich." He said before he threw a brown paper bag at my face. It smacked me in the nose and the brothers laughed from besides me. I sighed. Kyler brought out the worst in Peeta, that was for sure. Two Mellark's against one Undersee was never a fair fight.

"Can you two give me a break?" I asked as I took the sandwich out of the bag and took a huge bite. I was starving.

"We only tease you because you're an easy target." Kyler said with a smirk. He paused and then added, "Also, because you're hilarious when you get upset."

I nearly choked on my food. My heart ached at his words. Gale had something extremely similar to be in the games. At even the thought of Gale, I felt my chest began to throb. I looked around and spotted him on the other end of the hovercraft, talking with Katniss. I wondered what they were talking about. Where they talking about me?

I hoped so.

"Madge? Are you even listening?"

"Huh?" I snapped my head back around to focus on the brothers. Peeta rolled his eyes and repeated his question. I nodded my head. "Of course I'm listening." I glanced over my shoulder at Gale and Katniss again.

"Oh, for the love of all things good in this world, Madge." Kyler mumbled. "If you want to talk to him then go talk to him."

I sighed. "I don't even know what to say to him. He hates me."

Kyler shook his head quickly. "No he doesn't. Nobody could hate you, Madge."

I smiled softly at his kind words but I wasn't entirely convinced. I had tried to hold Gale's hand for the Propo and he ran away from me, freaking out. Was I that repulsive? Was I so horrible in his eyes that he couldn't even touch my hand? I thought we were past the games. I thought we were past the disgust.

"I'll prove it you." Kyler said as he swallowed a bite of his sandwich. And before I could stop him, Kyler was waving his hand in the air yelling across the hovercraft. "Hey! Join us over here, would you?"

I gripped his knee with my hand tightly. "Kyler." I said in a harsh whisper. "What do you think you're doing?"

He put his hand on top of the one I had over his knee. "It will be much easier for you to gawk at him while he's sitting with us, don't you think?" He teased.

I opened my mouth to retort with something smart but Katniss and Gale were coming over and sitting down next to us. I gave them both my best forced smile. Gale hardly even looked at me, however. He avoided eye-contact and stared at the food in his lap. An awkward silence fell over the group. Peeta slipped his hand onto Katniss's knee and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

Kyler clasped his hands together loudly. "So, any ideas about what this new country will be like?" He asked to ease the thick and obvious tension.

Gale snorted. I glanced over at him and he had his arms crossed over his chest and he was practically glaring at Kyler. "I don't know, Kyler." He said his name with a hiss that made my heart drop. "Hopefully they have a kitchen to keep you busy."

I closed my eyes. This wasn't going to be good.

Kyler tensed but didn't respond smart, like I would've done. Instead, he pressed his lips together for a moment before he said, "Actually, I do hope that. I liked working in the kitchen in Thirteen."

"Yeah, that doesn't appear to be the only thing you like." Gale said quickly.

Kyler laughed but it was forced and uncomfortable. "You don't know me, Gale."

Gale sat up a little and leaned in closer. He licked his lips before he began to speak again. "Actually, I do. You're a town kid. You grew up privileged with the entire world at your finger tips. From what I've been told, Katniss and Finnick had to rescue you from your burning district and you barely got out alive. You walk around like you have it all together, like you have all the answers. You are so full of it. I see right through you, Kyler. You are seconds away from losing it, aren't you? You are just... literally seconds away from falling apart. And I know exactly who you hope catches you when you fall." He spat his final words, his eyes dark and tense.

"Gale!" I yelled, standing to my feet quickly.

Gale threw his hands up into the air. "I'm just being honest!"

"No!" I screamed at him, the anger suddenly pumping through my veins. "You're being an ass! You know what, Gale? _Everybody_ has been walking around egg shells with you because you've been through a lot but I am sick and tired of how you treat us in return! You can't just walk around treating people however you want!" I practically spat my words at him, my finger pointing. "One minute I feel like I see the old Gale I knew again and then the next..." I swallowed hard. "And the next you're back to acting like a jerk. It's not fair. I am trying. We are all trying." I finished with tears in my eyes.

Gale stared at me, his dark expression fading into something softer and lighter. "Madge..." He said softly.

I shook my head. "_No_. You don't get to respond. Not unless it's an apology to Kyler. I can't... I can't do this all on my own, you know. I can't become a part of your life again if you don't want me to. If all you're ganna do is push me away and act like this." I shook my head at him, my arms falling to my side in defenselessness. I stole a glance at Kyler, who looked like he was seconds away from punching Gale in the face. I didn't exactly blame him.

"Let's just... forget this even happened, alright?" Peeta said softly. He hated conflict. He hated it so much.

"I can't!" I said too loudly. I coughed awkwardly, fighting back the tears and then repeated the words in a whisper. "I can't." I pushed away from them and headed towards the front of the hovercraft, where there was nobody around. I found a small section that was closed off with a curtain. I yanked open the curtain and then closed it once I was inside the little area. It was like my own little room. I pressed my forehead into the wall.

I didn't let the tears fall. Because I was sick of crying for him. I was sick of getting my hopes up. Was he ever going to change? Probably not. And I was kidding myself if I honestly thought otherwise. Because Gale was out of excuses. He no longer thought we were the enemy, he hated the Capitol just as much as we did. And yet... he still treated others like dirt. He still treated _me_ like dirt... but only when he wanted to. I groaned and pressed my forehead into the wall and closed my eyes. This wasn't getting any easier.

"You alright?"

I glanced up to Kyler standing in front of me, his hands shoved his pockets, letting the muscles of his arms appear even more defined than usual. His hair was falling softly in front of his eyes and I couldn't help but smile at the sight of him. He just looked so... full of light. And my world had been stuck in darkness for so long that even the smallest light shined oh so bright.

I sighed and turned around, letting my back lean against the wall this time. "Gale just emotionally assaulted you and you're asking if _I'm_ okay. You are definitely a Mellark. Selfless by nature."

Kyler smirked and joined me on the wall. "It's a weakness, mostly."

I shook my head. "Never consider it a weakness. Nothing shows more strength than the ability to put others feelings above your own."

He nodded and was quiet for a long moment. After he took a deep breath, he said, "You know, nothing he said was false."

I looked up at him and was met with his striking blue eyes staring deep into my own eyes. They made my heart skip an entire beat. I looked away quickly, feeling the heat that rushed to my cheeks. "I _am_ seconds away from losing it." He said in a whisper.

"We all are." I said with a soft sigh. Especially me. I was always seconds away from losing it again.

"I don't really know what I expected to feel." He said quietly. "I watched my family blow up before my eyes and I just rolled it off my shoulders like, 'Hey, maybe if I just laugh everything off, I won't feel the pain.' But that didn't work. In fact, it just made the pain worse."

"I cut all my hair off. And when that didn't work, I broke down in the hallway and then slapped you in the face." This got Kyler to laugh. Really laugh. I smiled at the sight before I continued. "My point is, everybody deals with pain differently. Don't apologize for how you deal with yours."

Kyler pushed himself off the wall and moved so he was standing directly in front of me. He brushed a hair out of my face with his finger and then smiled at me softly. "You're amazing, you know that?"

I was having trouble breathing, let alone speaking. I opened my mouth but no words came out. I cleared my throat and was finally able to form a coherent sentence. "I don't see how you could possibly think that."

His finger traced my jawline and I shivered at the electricity of his touch. I didn't realize how good it felt until he removed it. "Because you don't see it. Any of it. You don't see your worth, your beauty, your everything. If only you could see what I see, Madge." He whispered, his lips inches away from my own.

I had to ask it. Even if my legs were beginning to tremble and my brain was beginning to cloud and my judgment was jacked because my emotions were all over the place. I had to know. "And what _do_ you see, Kyler?"

He began to lean into me. And I was leaning in too. And it didn't make sense. Because I wanted it. I wanted him to kiss me. But I wasn't allowed to want it. But I did. And as his hands found home on my waist and my own gripped the edges of his shirt, we both leaned in closer and closer and...

"Oh, sorry!"

We pulled apart immediately, fumbling and awkward. Annie stood in front of us, the curtain slightly open behind her with her hand pressed to her mouth in embarrassment. "So sorry! I was just passing through! Sorry!" She quickly passed through the room and to the other side.

I held my hand to my own lips. We hadn't kissed. But we had come pretty close. What had gotten into me? Kyler, for the first time ever, was speechless. He opened his mouth to say something but then shut it again. After a moment of awkward silence, he just yanked the curtain open and left entirely. I decided it was best to not follow him.

* * *

"We're here." Peeta whispered into my ear.

I sat up from my place on his shoulder, blinking and looking out the window of the hovercraft. He was right. Wherever we were, we were there. It had been an awkward and long ride but we were finally there. We all stood up and grabbed our stuff before Haymitch directed us off the craft. When everybody was off, we stood around outside of a gate. It wasn't like the fence that kept us in our district, however. No, this gate was much smaller. Only about ten feet high. It was surrounded by brick fence that appeared to stretch out for miles. There was an intercom of some kind and all Haymitch had to do was enter in some kind of code and the gate opened. No Peacekeepers with guns. He motioned for us all to follow him inside. We all sort of just looked at each other. This all felt so surreal. We were in another country. Other countries existed. This wasn't Panem.

Haymitch sighed. "Get in here or I will shut the gate on you and lock you out."

Prim pushed through the others to get to my side. She grabbed my hand and squeezed it tight. Then, she dragged me through the gate. We were the first ones. I stared down at my little sister in shock. When did she get so brave?

The rest of our group followed behind us. Peeta and Madge caught up next to Prim and I. I glanced behind me and saw Kyler at the back of the group,walking with Finnick and Annie. It was odd to not seem him glue to Madge's side. Something had happened after he went after her in the hovercraft but I had no idea what.

We walked down a long paved path. Beautiful, colorful, trees surrounded us on both sides. It wasn't like the forest, though. Those trees were secluded beyond the district. These, on the other hand, were out in the open and meant to serve as a decoration. The concrete path was also lined with many flowers. Prim stared at them in awe as we walked. Peeta found my free hand and I looked at him as he took in his surroundings. It was like a painting. It was like we were literally inside of a painting.

We walked about a mile in before we reached a large brick building that resembled something you'd see in one of the poorer districts, such as twelve. Haymitch told us to stay back and then he walked forward to the door. He knocked on it a few times before it opened. A beautiful, striking women opened it wide and shared a hushed conversation with Haymitch. I should have been trying to figure out what they were saying but I was too stuck on how someone could be so pretty.

She had long blond hair, the color of Madge's. But her eyes, they were green and seemed to sparkle in the light. Her skin was pale and her cheeks were rosy. Long legs, a thin waist, she looked like one of the models from the Capitol without all the crazy clothes. She was dressed in simple clothing. Cloth pants and a cotton shirt.

Haymitch nodded and together, they walked over to us. We all stood up a little straighter at the sight of this women. When they reached us, the women looked up and gave us a small smile. Then she clasped her hands together and began to speak.

"Welcome. I am Zander Morg. I am the President here in Trois, my country that was founded two hundred years ago by my great great grandfather. We have a lot to explain to you all and frankly, there isn't enough time in the world. So, for starters. I'll explain why you're here." She took a moment to lick her lips and take a breath. "You are from Panem and if you think for a second we don't know what's going on there, you're mistaken. We know the Capitol is after you but we would like to protect you. We have always been on good terms with Panem and the Capitol because we knew getting on their bad side would be a mistake. Therefore, this is the last place they would check for fugitives. We are founded on a non-violent principle here at Trois and therefore, we will not physically fight this war with you. But we will provide a safe environment and help in whatever other ways we can. We would like Panem to one be like our country one day. A country based on Democracy."

"Democracy?" I found myself asking out loud. All eyes turned to me and I stepped back a little, out of intimidation.

President Zander only smiled at me. "Yes. In a democracy, all citizens play an equal part in the decisions that affect their lives. I was voted as president under this idea of a democracy. Nothing changes in this country without a vote made by all citizens. It's a very fair way to live."

"Long before us, some countries ran under a democracy." Someone said from behind me. I looked back and saw it was Kyler. He took a step forward so he was at the front of the crowd. I felt Madge stiffen from behind me. "And then the world fell to pieces because of it. Democracies never work in the long-term."

President Zander nodded. "Well, we run things a little differently than the world before us. Let me show you. Follow me." She turned on her heel and began to lead us through the door Haymitch had knocked on only moments prior. This time, it was Kyler who was the first to walk towards the door. I wondered how he knew all that, about the history of the world before us. It certainly wasn't in the books they showed us at school.

"Peeta, how did your brother know that?"

Peeta took a deep breath in and then out. We began to follow the group towards the door. "He's smart, Katniss. Smarter than anybody realizes. He's been hiding books in his room since he was twelve. I don't know where he gets them but I know they are banned. I tried to sneak one once but he guards them with his life."

As I began to think of it then, I remembered things I didn't know I remembered. Kyler, with a book under the desk as he worked the counter at their fishing shop. Kyler, who perked up at any hushed political debate that was exchanged late at night out on the beach. Kyler, who hid behind his jokes and laughter so nobody realized how smart he was.

Madge must've heard our conversation because she came up beside me then. "Kyler's been reading banned books since he was_ twelve_?"

Peeta nodded. "There's a lot more to him than you realize, Madge."

She glanced ahead and spotted him inside the hall of the building we were entering. "Yeah, apparently so." Her expression was unreadable. She licked her lips and shook her head before stepping in front us, walking inside.

"Here goes nothing, Peeta." I said as I walked through the door frame.

He touched my cheek softly before he followed me in. "Here goes nothing."

* * *

_A/N: You will get a look inside Trois next chapter! GET EXCITED! And if anyone can tell me what Trois means, I'll give you a virtual gold medal. It's a word in a different language, that's your hint!_

_So SORRY this chapter isn't very Gadge centric. It's very Kyler/Madge but DON'T WORRY. This IS a Gadge story. But let's look at this realistiically: If you were in Madge's shoes, if the boy you loved was brainwashed and didn't remember you and was off acting like a jerk, you would probably wrestle with feelings for the sweet fishing boy from District Four, wouldn't you? I don't blame Gale for acting the way he did in this chapter though. He's been through MORE than ANY of them. And he's confused. But I can also see Madge getting frustrated because she is TRYING and getting little in return :/ Oh the complications of love._

_And Kyler is becoming a fully development character. I loved adding depth to him with his interest in history and the "world before them" (Our world). I love Kyler so much, guys. It's really easy to write his parts! But don't worry, Gale will redeem himself soon enough! He's gotta come around eventually, right?_

_PLEASE review and lemme know what your thoughts are! I'll update ASAP but I tend to update faster when I have reviews as my motivation! HAPPY READING. I LOVE YOU ALL._


	9. Chapter 9

We were led about the District by President Zander. As we walked, she explained the way things worked. I was trying to pay attention but the district was just as beautiful as the pathway that led to it. Gorgeous trees, flowers, brick houses and buildings, happy people walking around, children laughing and playing. It was like the picture perfect world we had all dreamed of but never thought possible. It was like that distant hope that you clung to with the last fiber of your being. It was _that_ beautiful.

I walked next to Katniss and Peeta who turned their heads left and right at the sights before us. I caught onto the trail end of what President Zander was saying as she walked in front of us.

"...therefore, we run this country on the fairest ground as possible. Jobs are not rewarded with money. Instead, jobs are expected to be a part of our society. Food is given to every family every day, along with other essentials. Weekly doctor check-ups are encouraged to ensure everyones health and safety. Violence is unacceptable, by the way. Oh and there are playgrounds for children, game centers for those of all ages, festivals, there is plenty to do with your free time. Actually, in honor of your presence here in Trois, we are holding a festival in your honor tonight!"

"Trois... that is three for French, correct?" I heard Kyler ask from behind the president. She turned and smiled at him.

"Impressive. French is a long ago abandoned language. How do _you_ know about French?"

Kyler shrugged. "I read a lot. So does three have any significance?"

President Zander nodded again. "In fact, it does. This countries principle comes down to three words: Lead. Live. Love."

After we walked around town some more, she led us to what appeared to be a few empty brick buildings. She said they would be our living quarters for the next few weeks. She rattled off names and I was assigned to a room with Katniss and her family.

We stepped inside our new house, which was really a bathroom, kitchen, small table and couch, and a few bunk beds. Prim jumped onto a bottom bunk and yelled, "Claim it!". I smiled at her and tapped the bed above hers.

"Can we be bunk buddies?" I asked her.

She nodded her head, her blond braids bobbing. "Sure! As long as you don't snore."

"Well, Peeta and Kyler said I did but they are just boys. What do they know?" I said with a smirk and this got Prim to let out a giggle. Katniss and her mother took the other bunk bed. I slipped on my jacket and zipped it up. It was almost dinner time and the air was getting chilly outside. "I'm going exploring." I announced to my new roommates. "What time is the festival?"

Prim clapped her hands together. "Seven! Aren't you excited? It's going to be marvelous!"

"Of course it will be. A party in our honor? That's the most marvelous thing I have ever heard!" I said in a dramatic, capitol voice. I saw Katniss smile at me out of the corner of my eye. Nothing caught her heart more than watching others interact with her little sister.

I waved goodbye before I stepped outside. My shoes dug into the dusty road. I stared at my feet as I walked, trying to process the last 12 hours of my life. Was it truly only that morning that we had hopped on a hovercraft and fled the country? We were runaways now, weren't we? We were runaways and if anyone ever found us, surely we would be killed immediately. I thought of my mother back in District 13 and could only hope that she was safe, like Haymitch had assured me. There was a doctor there in Trois. It was safe here. Technically, she could have came, right? I sighed. I was over thinking this. Transporting her on a hovercraft would be nearly impossible and dangerous. She was where she needed to be.

Just as I was wondering what we would be served for dinner, I smacked right into someones chest. I stumbled back and gasped as the wind had been nearly knocked out of me. A pair of hands went to my shoulders immediately.

"Madge! Do you ever watch where you're walking, speed demon?"

My stomach dropped at the sound of Kyler's voice. No. I wasn't ready to face him yet. Not after we nearly kissed. Not after we almost crossed a line that should never be crossed. Not after that.

"Sorry." I mumbled as I tried to walk around Kyler. He sighed and stepped in front of me. With a roll of my eyes, I tried to side-step him once again. Kyler was one beat faster than me, however. He blocked me again. "Can you let me walk, please?" I said to him.

"Madge," He began breathlessly, "We need to talk about what happened on the-"

"Nothing happened." I interrupted him, crossing my arms over my chest and attempting to stand up straight so I appeared more confident in my fickle words.

Kyler gave me a patient smile. "Okay. We need to talk about what _almost_ happened then."

"I need to go, Kyler. Can you let me go?" I asked impatiently, as I danced on my heels.

He took a long, shaky breath and stared at me. After a moment, he said, "You clearly want to pretend like it never happened. Is that right? Because if so, then I get it, Madge. I'll walk away right now and leave you alone."

I shook my head and put my hand on his arm. "I don't want you to leave me alone. That's the last thing I want! I just...I need to avoid this conversation for at least a day. Just one day. Can you give me that?"

Kyler licked his lips and looked towards the ground. He didn't answer me and I had a feeling he wasn't going to. I squeezed his arm and walked away as quickly as possible so he couldn't chase after me. If I could just process everything... if I could process the almost kiss and what an almost kiss meant than maybe I could make all of this okay. Maybe there was hope.

I started looking up as I walked from that point on. I noticed the towns people staring at me, of course. I was one of the Rebels from Panem. I was one of the most wanted people in Panem. I was on the run from my Government while also trying to fuel a war against my Government. Basically, I was walking disaster.

I caught bits and pieces of people's hushed whispers as I made my way through the town. Apparently, Panem and President Snow were declaring us as MIA (Missing In Action) and a thorough search for us within Panem had started. At least they hadn't figured out that we had fled the country yet. I also caught word that the districts were getting restless in Panem. They needed us Rebels to ignite their anger. Well, they needed to wait a little longer. We needed to figure this out for ourselves before we tried to take on Panem.

Just then, I noticed boxes of food being placed on people's doorstep. It was dinner time. I was so excited at even the thought of food that I turned on my heel and walked back to my room as quickly as possible. When I got there, Katniss was dragging the box inside. We pulled out a loaf of warm bread, a chicken breast for each of us, a side of mashed potatoes, corn, and broccoli. This was definitely an upgrade from District Thirteen. We rationed the food and sat down at our little table.

Katniss's mother was quiet, but I was beginning to understand that this was just her nature. Prim talked enough for both of them combined. And although she was only twelve, she spoke as if she was much older at times. We weren't the only ones who were forced to grow up when we entered that arena.

"What are you going to wear to the festival tonight?" Prim asked me as she took a bite of her potatoes.

I shrugged. "I don't have much in my suitcase to choose from. No big deal."

"Well, then we at least have to do your hair pretty, right?" She asked.

Katniss and I exchanged an eye roll and for a moment, I felt like part of their family. Maybe in a way, I was. Or I hoped to be at least. Because the family I had was down to a sick and dying mother. _Dying._ Even the sound of the word in my head left a bitter taste on my tongue. I swallowed back the tears that were now threatening to fall and pretended that for a moment, everything was alright in the world. I pretended that I was just a sixteen year old girl sitting at the dinner table with her sisters. And all felt right in the world for once.

* * *

A knock on our door an hour after dinner had me jumping up from my place on our couch so quickly, you would've thought someone had shot at us. I guess even the smallest of noise scared me half to death. I had the past few months of my life to thank for that. I calmed my racing heart before I opened the door. Peeta stood before me, a smile on his face and with his hair falling hopelessly in front of his eyes, like usual.

He held out his hand for me. "Come on, walk with me, Katniss."

I took it and interlaced my fingers through his own. It was dark out and the festival was starting soon. The streets had cleared quite a bit. Most everyone was inside getting ready. The silence was welcoming and our hands swung a little as we walked, a comfortable laziness filling between us. It was the weirdest feeling, really. Walking along the road hand in hand with Peeta without the fear of Peacekeepers, without the fear of the games, of President Snow. I had never felt as safe as I did in that moment.

"Do you feel it?" I whispered to Peeta. "Do you feel how easy this air is to breathe? Like everything about this place just feels easy."

Peeta smiled and nodded before squeezing my hand a little tighter. "It's amazing. We were born in the wrong country."

"Well, until a few days ago, I didn't even know there were other countries."

"Katniss, look." Peeta stopped walking and pointed to something in the distance. I squinted and tried to make out whatever it was. I shook my head, not seeing it. He just dragged me towards it, wordlessly.

He pulled me through a field and then, my feet felt it. Sand. And then, my ears heard it. Water. We were on a beach! It wasn't the ocean. I couldn't smell the salt water. It was more than likely a lake of some sort. But it didn't matter. It was water. And it was the closest thing to home we had.

I gasped as I ran to the shoreline. "How did you spot this in the dark?"

Peeta appeared beside me and shrugged. "I have an eye for detail, you know."

I laughed and took off my shoes and threw them back into the sand. I stepped into the water and nearly squealed like a little child. It felt just as amazing as I remembered it feeling. Icy water tickling your feet, the electric shock pumping through your veins. The feeling that maybe, quite possibly, you could stand there in the water forever and be content.

And as an impulsive drive took over, I grabbed Peeta's hand and ran deeper into the water. It splashed against my shorts but I didn't care. Peeta tripped and sent us both doubling over deep into the water. Our heads went under and we came up a moment later, gasping and laughing. We were completely drenched. We splashed each other and laughed and laughed as if it was the most hilarious experience of our lives.

And after I dunked Peeta under the water and he pulled me into him in return, I found myself whispering. "This is the happiest I have ever felt since that day on the beach before the games."

Peeta nodded and I a droplet off water dropped from his hair to his cheek. I flicked it away with my finger tip. He smiled at the gesture and said, "I'm glad you feel happy."

"Better not let the moment get away from us." I whispered before my lips found his own. And while we were both shivering and freezing wet, the kiss was entirely warm and hopeful. It was ignited with happiness. Something that had been missing since all our kisses before. This kiss was my favorite. Because this kiss... this kiss felt and tasted exactly like home.

"I love you." Peeta breathed into my neck before he placed a kiss there. "I love you so much."

And then would've been the appropriate time to say it back. But I knew those words meant much more coming from me. I knew once I said them, everything would change. I would need to stand behind them one hundred percent. It meant giving myself over to Peeta completely. It meant choosing him for the rest of my life. It meant declaring something I just wasn't ready to declare. Maybe that made me a horrible person. Maybe that just made me human. I wasn't sure.

So instead, I slipped my hands around his waist and laid my head into his chest. I breathed him in for all he was. I breathed in my best friend and he kissed the top of my head. I whispered, "I will disappoint you."

And in return, he whispered, "And I will love you anyways."

Then we kissed again and I knew, I knew his words were true. Despite my flaws, despite everything I was, despite my mistakes and my failures, despite it all, he would love me anyway. And something occurred to me then. Something that stemmed from how incredible this man before me was. The world could essentially be divided into two groups.

There was the entire world.

And then, there was Peeta.

* * *

"Look in the mirror. You look perfect!"

Prim led me over to the mirror in our bathroom. She had twisted my hair into a low bun. Or what hair she could get to fit into a bun. I was still working on growing it out. A few pieces hung by my ears, framing my face. I gave her a hug.

"Thanks, Prim. It looks great!"

She nodded her head. "Now you're all dolled up! Can we go to the festival now?"

I grabbed her hand and nodded. "Sure! Let's make sure your sister is ready." Together, we walked out into the kitchen, where Katniss was waiting for us. Prim had done her hair as well. It was pulled to one side so it all hung over her left shoulder in beautiful, loose curls. She looked stunning, of course. She had nearly given Prim a heart attack when she came home drenching wet an hour prior but Prim managed to get her ready in time.

"Come on, Katniss! We don't want to be late!" She said before she grabbed Katniss's hand with the one that wasn't holding my own. Then she turned to her mother, who was on the couch. "You coming, mom?"

Her mother turned. "I am rather tired, actually. But you kids have fun." She said quietly.

"Okay." Prim sad softly, giving her mother a quick smile before she led me and Katniss out the door and onto the streets. The festival was being held outside in a courtyard where I had been told that children often played at. When we reached the courtyard, we stopped in our tracks at the sight before us.

A band was on a stage playing music while others laughed and danced around. A huge tent was set up, decorated with lights and lanterns that made the entire place light up like a Christmas tree in the Capitol. Even the trees surrounding the courtyard had been strung with bright, beautiful lights. We all stared, awestruck for a moment. I had been to quite a few parties, but nothing in District 12 was ever quite like this.

Prim squeezed my hand and dragged me towards the party. "Let's go dance!" I laughed and let the young girl lead me to the dance floor. Prim stood between Katniss and I, dancing with both of us. She broke out into a fit of giggles when Katniss spun her around like a ballerina. I laughed as well and for a moment, it was almost like I was happy.

Haymitch appeared a few minutes later, looking quite miserable. They didn't have liquor here in Trois, just like District 13. Something about the dangers of it. He looked uncomfortable as he shoved his hands into his pockets and sat down at an empty table. He turned around and stared at something. I followed his eyes to Finnick and Annie, who were holding hands and practically racing to the dance floor. A smile found it's way to my lips. Finnick pulled her into his chest as they danced. She closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around his neck, breathing him into her. Haymitch stared at them for a moment longer before he looked down at the ground.

It had never occurred to me until that moment that Haymitch had probably loved someone before. He had probably had a girlfriend. He had probably felt what I felt with Gale: that unmistakable, gravitational pull that compels you to someone. I wondered what she was like and I wondered what had happened to her. Just as my feet were leading me towards him to ask him to dance, just so he didn't feel so lonely, President Zander sat down next to him. He looked up and she gave him a friendly smile.

"It's my favorite infant! You look adorable, Prim!" A voice called from behind me. I knew exactly who it was. I spun on my heel to find Kyler ruffling Prim's hair, like he always did. She shoved him away with a playful grin. Kyler laughed and threw his hands up in the air "It was a compliment!"

"I am twelve and a half you know! That's almost a teenager!" She said with her arms crossed over her chest.

Kyler smirked. "Well, maybe when you _are_ a teenager, you'll be able to dance like _this._" He then proceeded to dance in the most ridiculous way possible. He shifted from side to side on the tips of his toes with his hands up in the air. I couldn't even help it when I laughed out loud. Prim was practically on the floor in a fit of giggles.

"Well, with moves like that, I am so surprised you don't have yourself a girlfriend, Kyler Mellark." I said as I walks towards him.

Kyler looked up and gave me a heart melting smile. He let out a breath before he shrugged his shoulders. "The list of willing girls is just too overwhelming. I never have the time to go through it, you know?" He said nonchalantly.

I nodded my head. "That must be so hard for you. So many girls... so little time."

"It is. I get through it somehow, though." His eyes caught my own and my heart fluttered in the best way possible. He held out his hand to me. "May I have this dance, Miss Madge Undersee?"

I blushed and took his hand. He led me out further onto the dance floor. His hands wrapped around my waist and my own locked around his neck. The song being played by the band was slow and sweet, a violin carrying the melody.

"Look," I began, my eyes glancing down. "About earlier..."

"What about earlier?" He asked quietly. I looked up and caught his gaze. He smirked. "I remember you saying earlier that just you wanted a day to ignore it. This is me trying to give you that day."

I smiled. "I appreciate that. But I just wanted to say I am sorry. I have a tendency to..."

"Avoid the uncomfortable?" Kyler finished for me.

I nodded. "Exactly."

His grip tightened a little around my waist and I was pulled even closer to him. My heart raced. He leaned into my ear. "Was it really that uncomfortable, though?" He whispered sweetly.

I looked up into his sparkling blue eyes and felt at such a loss for words. _Was it uncomfortable?_ Was almost kissing Kyler uncomfortable? Would kissing him be uncomfortable? What had even happened in the last few months? How had I let this happen? What did I feel?

I sighed and let my fingers play with the hair at the base of his neck. "I don't know, Kyler. I don't know what's even happening between us."

Kyler moved a loose strand of my hair behind my ear. "Do I need to spell it out for you, Madge? Because I will if you need me to." He said soothingly.

"Just say it. Say everything. Say everything you feel." I found myself saying.

Kyler bit his lip, thinking about this for a long moment. Then, he sighed and gave me a soft smile. "If you wish. Madge, I watched my family burn to death. And when I got on the hovercraft with Finnick and Katniss, I didn't really feel like my life had purpose anymore. I didn't really feel like my life had anything, really. And there was this darkness that wouldn't go away every time I closed my eyes. Every time I breathed, it was like breathing in coal dust, you know? Nothing made sense. Nothing added up. And then..." His eyes locked onto my own. "Then, I met you."

He took a shaky breath before he continued. "And I swear to you, Madge. After I met you, the darkness faded into light. I started to breath in fresh air again. I remembered who I was and why I was here and it was like... it was like meeting you brought me back to life. You had lost everything too and I found comfort in you. You knew exactly what I was going through. You didn't pressure me to spill out my feelings. You just sat with me and laughed with me and talked with me. You made me feel like myself again, Madge." He pulled me in even _closer. "_You're witty and strong and fierce and adorable as hell. How could I _not_ fall for you?" He whispered, his eyes never leaving my own.

This is what it felt like then. To be caught in the middle of a sandstorm of emotions. To be right smack in the middle of something you couldn't control. To be pulled in a million different directions. To have no idea how to find your way out of the maze of your own life.

I swallowed. My throat was suddenly incredibly dry. I was standing there locked in the arms with one of the sweetest, dorkiest, cutest boys I had ever had the pleasure of knowing and I had no idea what I felt or what I wanted to say or what happened next.

"Madge, I know you love Gale. I'm not stupid. I'm not blind. I know you love him but I just need you to know, you have options." Kyler said, his voice shaky and nervous. I had never really seen him this nervous before. His hands slid to my hips. "I can handle whatever it is you have to say. I just need you to say something. _Please._" He pleaded with me.

I opened my mouth and no sound came out. I tried again but still... nothing. What was even the point? I had no idea what I wanted to say. I had no idea what I felt. Maybe, once I got something, anything out of my mouth, the right words would follow. I licked my lips and opened my mouth again and just as the word "I..." was leaving my lips, someone appeared beside us.

"Can I cut in?" Gale's deep voice asked. He stood no further than a foot away from us. Kyler and I turned and stared at him in shock. Gale glanced between the two of us and then said, "Was I interrupting something?" There was no mockery in his voice. Just a genuine question.

I could tell Kyler was staring at me but I was too busy focusing my eyes on the ground. Now, I _really _had no idea what to say. After an excruciating long minute, I heard Kyler sigh loudly. "Sure, Gale," He began, his teeth gritted. "You can cut in." He dropped his hands from my waist and mine dropped from his neck. "I better get used to it." Kyler mumbled before he turned and stormed off.

"Kyler!" I called, running after him.

He spun around and shook his head at me. "Please, don't follow me, Madge!" He said a little too harshly for my liking. Kyler _never_ got harsh with me. It made my heart drop to the very bottom of my chest. I nodded my head slowly and Kyler turned back around and walked off. I cursed and marched back over to Gale.

"Look what you did now!" I yelled at him, my eyes narrowed.

"Hey." He said softly. "I swear to you, I did not mean to do that."

I threw my hands up in the air. "What are you even doing? You hate me!"

Gale closed his eyes. "Madge, just dance with me." He said softly. His hand was waiting for mine. I was still so incredibly mad at him for how he acted on the hovercraft. And I was so incredibly mad at him for getting Kyler upset with me. But above all else, I ached for his touch. I ached for his hand in my own. I ached to be close to him again. The ache won over.

I took his hand and again, I repeated the motion of wrapping my hands around his neck, like I had done with Kyler. His found my waist. I avoided his eye contact, however. I was sick of getting lost in boys eyes.

"I came over here to talk to you. About what you said earlier on the plane." Gale began. I sighed and kept my eyes away from his. He continued. "This is hard as hell for me to admit but... in some ways, you were right."

This got me to finally look up. "Did you just say I was right?"

Gale sighed. "Don't get used to it, Princess." I smiled at the old nickname. "Just... all that stuff about you trying so hard and me in return, treating you like trash. I guess I sometimes forget that you all went through hell too. And you have been nothing but nice to me and I don't even know you. I mean... I guess I'm supposed to. But I don't. And...I am going to try harder, alright? To be nicer to you and everyone else."

This got me to really smile. I patted the back of his neck. "Thank you, Gale... for that... sort of apology."

He smirked. "It was a _full_ apology, jerk."

I laughed. "Not quite. But we will let this one slide."

Gale smiled and I laughed again. We danced quietly for another moment before he said, "You know, I really don't know much about you, Madge. And that's not fair because you know everything about me."

I shrugged. "Well, what do you want to know?"

"Your favorite color, for starters."

I nodded and locked my fingers tighter around his neck. "Yellow."

"Favorite weather?"

I thought about this for a moment. "Snow. It's so... pure looking. So innocent. It makes you want to start new."

Gale nodded and gave me this adorable half smile. "How about... your favorite memory of me?"

I sighed. How could I possibly choose? And I had to choose carefully. Maybe something could help bring Gale's memory back. I thought about all our times in the games and tried to pick out the one that stood out the most. Of course it was the time he told me he loved me but I had already talked to him about that one. Another one slipped into my mind and I smiled.

"It was raining. It had been raining for two days straight." I began. Gale held me a little tighter and focused on my words. "I was dying. And you were laying with me, trying to get me to stay awake. We... we were talking about us. How we were both from different worlds." My eyes began to fill with tears but I refused to let them fall. I swallowed and kept going. "We also talked about the past. I told you I could have fallen in love with you if we had become friends after I saved you all those years ago. And then... you kissed me. It wasn't our first kiss. It was our third, actually. But it was the first kiss that wasn't for any specific reason. Our first kiss was because I had never been kissed before," I smiled at the memory. "And our second kiss was to distract one of the tributes. But that kiss..." My voice began to tremble and I repeated Gale's exact words. "_That_ kiss was because you wanted to."

I was so terribly afraid of him seeing me cry and I couldn't help the way my lip was quivering. So, I slammed my head into his chest and buried it there, hiding my face from him. He stiffened for a tiny moment before I felt his arms accept the closeness, wrapping around my shoulders. We danced like that, holding each other as close as possible for a long, magical moment.

And then suddenly, Gale jerked away. As if someone had zapped him. He pulled away from me and just stared at me, confusion written all over his face.

"What is it?" I asked quietly.

The slow song changed into something upbeat and happy. Everyone around us began to cheer and dance around. Gale and I stood there, our feet planted firmly on the ground, staring at each other. He swallowed and shook his head, his words failing him.

I nodded and wiped at my face. "This is _exactly_ what I'm talking about Gale. Sometimes, you act completely fine and sweet and then the next minute, you pull away from me like I have some kind of contagious disease!"

Gale sighed and closed his eyes. "I wish I could explain..."

"Then explain!" I yelled, catching the attention of those around me. Frankly, I did not care. I was so utterly and completely sick of this.

"I can't!" He yelled back. "I can't explain!"

"You're not even trying." I said, a tear slipping down my cheek. I crossed my arms over my chest.

"Because I can't understand it myself, Madge. Look, I am so sorry. I need to... I need to go."

I shook my head. "No. Stop running away from me. Be a man and face this. Face _me._"

Gale sighed and I saw his own face began to take on a certain look of sadness. Sadness wasn't a look I had grown accustomed to with the new Gale. "I don't know how." He said, defeated.

"Gale." I began to cry then. "I am so tired of this."

"Me too. And it's all my fault. I know." He said before he threw his hands up in the air.

"You know you're worth every ounce of fight I have put into this thing." I said through my tears, my finger pointing at him. "Every. Single. Ounce. But my fight is running out, Gale."

"I don't know much anymore but I know this..." He began, looking up at me, "I don't want you to give up on me. Not yet."

"But I don't know how much more I can take." I cried before turning around and walking away. Because our conversations were nothing but empty words and broken promises and nothing and nobody made sense. Not Kyler. Not Gale. Not myself. I couldn't keep doing this. Honestly, it was less exhausting when Gale still hated me entirely. At least then, I knew what to expect with him. But this Gale who was half way in and out of the door? All this Gale did was get my hopes up and then crush them again and again. It was like getting your heart ripped out, then sewed back in, then ripped out again.

I cried as I walked away from the party, my hands wrapped around my chest. Someone was coming up behind me and I swore, if it was Gale or Kyler, I would punch them in the face. But it was neither of them. It was Peeta. And frankly, he was the only person I wanted to see right then. Without a word from either of us, I collapsed into his arms and he held me as I cried. No questions asked. But that's a little how true friendship works; with more actions than words.

And with his arm slung around my shoulder, he walked me back to my house. And I knew he wanted to go back to the party and dance with Katniss. And I knew I was probably ruining his night. And I wanted him to leave but at the same time, I didn't. Not just because I was selfish. But also because Peeta was the only person who ever made sense when everything else got dizzy. He was the only thing that stayed stable. And so I let him walk me home with the sound of the music fading behind us and the cold air slapping my salty cheeks. It was alright, though. It wasn't the first time that night that I had felt like I was being slapped.

* * *

**_A/N: lol WELL THEN. This was a tad dramatic, no? I love dramatic and angst and tension and wow you all hate me I am sure but things will get better for everyone, I promise! This chapter was a lot of the emotional and love plot but not a lot of the action plot but oh well... I like this plot better anyways. SUE ME hehe. We will get back to the war stuff soon enough._**

**_Sorry Gale and Madge have yet to catch a break. Baby steps, okay? And it's KILLING me to torture Kyler. And A LOT of you have told me you love Kyler too and can't decide if you like Madge better with Kyler or Gale. I LIKE THEM BOTH TOO, don't worry. I literally feel like Madge right now; caught between two amazing boys. UGH._**

**_Anyways, lots of development in this chapter. Tell me what you liked or didn't like or if you're feeling more for Gale or Kyler or Madge!_**

**_EVERLARK fluff in this chapter for all your Everlark fans reading this story. Thanks for all the reviews and keep them up! I LOVE to read what you guys think, SERIOUSLY._**

**_UNTIL NEXT TIME. _**

**_XOXO_**

**_Popcan_**

**_P.S- Madge and Peeta friendship FOR THE WIN. _**


	10. Chapter 10

I walked around Trois to explore a bit. It really was quite beautiful. Trees and flowers and cheerful chatter of the citizens as they worked outside or walked around with friends. I couldn't explain the feeling I felt while there. It was safe. Very safe. And as I walked the streets, I passed a girl around my age watering flowers in front of her house. I wondered how different my life would've been if I had grown up in Trois instead of District Four. I would've never had to go into the games. I would've never had to kill innocent children. I would never of had to watch Rue die. I would've never had to become a rebel in order to survive. I could've lived a normal life. Grew up watering my mothers flowers and sleeping soundly, without the fear of death hanging over my head all the time. I would've never met Peeta, however. And at even the thought of not having Peeta in my life, my heart dropped down to the very bottom of my chest. And I knew as horrible as my life was, I wouldn't change it for the world because of him.

All of the pain was worth it with Peeta by my side.

I had been staring at my feet as I walked and when I finally did look up, I noticed an old building with vines blanketing the sides and roof. A broken sign read "Library". Curious, I opened the door and stepped inside. I had to hold back a gasp as I looked all around me. Shelves and shelves of books. Beautiful, colorful, worn books. It wasn't that we didn't have a library back home. But it wasn't nearly this size because a lot of books from the past had been banned. There were different signs all around the room, labeling the books into categories. Fiction, Children's Fiction, Non-Fiction, Historical Books and so on and so on. I didn't know where to start. I heard a cough from across the room and recognized it immediately. Creeping along the isle, I peeked over and saw Kyler snugged up in a chair reading a book.

I could barely make out the title but when I squinted, I saw that it read, _Before Trois._ He looked so much like Peeta in that moment, I could've mistaken the two. Of course, Kyler was older and more muscular. But the way he read, with such intense concentration, with the corner of his lip between his teeth, it all was just so... Peeta. I must've been leaning against a loose book because when I moved forward, a book behind me tumbled to the ground and Kyler looked up. He smirked.

"Stalker much?"

I nonchalantly slid the book back into the shelf and walked over towards him. "Only when it's you, Kyler. I tucked my hands into the pockets of my pants. "What are you reading?"

He stuck a book mark inside the book and shut it before setting it on a small table next to his chair. "It's about the different forms of government before our time. You know, when there was America and Canada and all the other countries." He licked his lips. "A better time."

I nodded, but I didn't know. I didn't know anything about the time before us. I crossed my arms over my chest. "Was this no war?"

Kyler nodded his head. "There was plenty of war. It divided countries apart. And there were terrorist attacks that nearly destroyed countries over and over again." Kyler looked down at the ground for a long moment. Then, he looked back up at me with a defeated look on his face. "Don't you get it, Katniss? Nothing is ever going to change. We can fight all we want but... there will always be war and destruction and horrible people doing horrible things."

I walked to where he was sitting and took the chair next to his. I sighed. "Kyler, when I think about all that has happened in the last few months, all the people who have died, all the lives we will never get back, I know... _I know _we have to fight because... if we don't, then all those people who died... they will have died for nothing. And trust me, if four tributes from the 74th annual hunger games can start a rebellion, then surely all of us and our families can fight that rebellion and claim victory."

Kyler leaned back into his chair and closed his eyes. He looked tired. Oh, so tired. I knew he wasn't talking to Madge since some fallout they had the little party Trois threw for us. And if there was something I had come to learn about Kyler and Madge, it was this: they were both much more pleasant people to be around when they weren't fighting.

Madge wasn't talking to Gale either so that left her to be spending a lot of her time with Peeta and I, much to my slight annoyance. I cared for Madge, obviously. But I wanted some time with just Peeta too.

"Katniss," Kyler finally said after a long period of silence. I glanced up to meet his eyes. "What are we ganna do? How are we ganna win this thing? How are we even ganna fight this thing? We're hiding right now in some foreign country. We're cowards."

"Well," I said, the words coming to me quickly and clearly, like the sky clearing after a storm. "First off, we need to make sure the districts know we are still fighting for them."

Kyler agreed, but he just didn't seem like himself. I hesitated to ask about Madge. Was it really my business and did I even want to know? Not really. But if it got Kyler to stop acting so depressed, it might be worth it. I licked my lips before I began.

"So, have you talked to Madge?"

Kyler snorted. "What's there to talk about?"

I shifted uncomfortably. I wished Peeta had come with me. He would know what to say. "Kyler, she's your friend. You don't want to lose her."

"I already have." He mumbled. He shoved the book into a backpack. He stood up and hiked it over his shoulders, glancing at me as he did so. "She loves him. How can I compete with that?" He let out a sad, heartbreaking laugh and I realized how much Kyler really loved Madge, how much he really wanted to be with her.

"I know she does." I said softly, because what else was there to say? It was the truth. Madge loved Gale. Simple as that.

"And as long as he can't remember what happened, Madge will spend forever trying to fix him, trying to get him to fall back in love with her." Kyler swallowed hard and then said, "She's always been too good for me and I knew it the moment I met her. I was an idiot to ever think otherwise." He squeezed my shoulder as he walked by and headed towards the door.

"Kyler, wait." I said. He turned around and I gave him a soft smile. "I know it's probably too hard, but if there's any chance you can still be her friend, you need to be that for her. She's a happier person when she's with you, ya know."

Kyler let out a breath and closed his eyes for a moment. He nodded and then waved goodbye as he left. Dust floated into the sunlight as the door swung shut.

* * *

I took a sip of my lemon tea and it burned my tongue. I sat it back down so I could wait for it cool. Across the table from me was Haymitch, who looked so beyond exhausted, and next to him was Finnick, writing things down on a piece of paper. This was how I spent my free time as of lately: with Haymitch and Finnick, figuring out our next move, or with Katniss and Peeta.

I hadn't talked to Kyler since the fateful party and I avoided Gale as much as possible. He tried to talk to me a few times but I ignored him. What was the point, really? He would probably shut me out again in a few days. My heart couldn't take the constant back and forth that had become Gale Hawthorne. Not after all the other crap I had been subject to.

"We have been here in Trois for almost two weeks now." Haymitch said as he rubbed his temple. "And as far as moving forward with the rebellion, we are right where we started. We've got nothing."

"Nothing?" I asked.

"Nope. And I've gotten word that they are killing people at random, to bring fear back into the districts. And the search for us has extended the borders of Panem. President Zander thinks they will check here last, however. So, we've got another week or two, which is good news, I suppose."

"Well," Finnick began, "If we just had a way of getting word out to the districts that we are still fighting... we can't film a propo here, however. That would give our location away."

"We could film with a green screen." I said, taking a sip of my tea now that it had cooled down a little.

He shook his head. "They can trace the location without even seeing a spec of the background. If we air a Propo here, they will know it."

Haymitch swore. "We're getting nowhere."

"What about throwing them off their tracks?" I suggested. "We can film a propo somewhere else, get out of there and come back here as quickly as possible. They will trace the propo to wherever we were and look for us there."

Haymitch smirked. "Princess, sometimes you surprise me." I smiled back at my mentor.

Finnick rolled his eyes. "That's all fine and dandy but where the hell are we going to film this propo? We can't put another country in danger like that."

I thought of the outskirts of District 12, where Gale had been spotted hunting all those years ago. I thought of those woods that seemed to stretch on for days. We could sneak back there and film the propo. It was risky, being so close to Panem, but that way, nobody would be hurt. There was nothing in the woods. Not now that Gale was no longer there. I told Finnick and Haymitch my idea and after much arguing and consideration, we decided it was the best we could come up with, although it wasn't a fool-proof plan, by any means. A number of things could go wrong.

"We can film the propo there and air it once we get back to Trois and the tracking will still read that we were outside of district twelve. Even so, every single peace-keeper is looking for us. If we get caught, we're dead." Haymitch said.

"Then we better hope we don't get caught." I said with a newfound boldness.

The men smiled at me like they had never been more proud of me in their entire lives. I was coming back to life.

When I returned to my house and told Katniss and her family the plan, Prim immediately began to sob. Katniss patted her back and nodded at me. She was in. We knew we had to do this. We couldn't keep hiding. We had to start doing.

"Haymitch said the less people who go, the better. Not as many lives at risk. He just wants the Fantastic Six."

Prim wiped at her cheek. "No! I can't let Katniss leave again. Not after she just came back!"

Katniss crouched down and smiled sweetly at her little sister. It was the smile she saved just for her. She whispered something in Prim's ear and Prim nodded through her teary eyes and her quivering lip. Then, Katniss wiped at Prim's face with her thumb and then kissed her forehead. She stood back up and smoothed her own blouse. "When do we leave?"

"Tonight." I answered.

Prim grabbed Katniss's hand and held tight to it. It was in these moments, the moments she thought she might lose her sister again, that Prim transformed back into a little girl. She needed Katniss. And Katniss needed her. And I was once again jealous of their connection, their sisterhood. It was something I never had and never would have. And the aching hole in the bottom of my stomach reminded me that it was something I desperately wanted.

We gathered at the hovercraft a few hours later. I stood as far away from Gale as humanly possible. Prim and Katniss's mother were hugging her. Gale's mother and siblings were talking in quiet whispers to him. Peeta and Kyler hugged and then Kyler looked over at me.

When he made eye contact, I realized how much I had missed him. Not talking to him was painful, heartbreaking, impossible. He sighed and walked over towards me, in slow strides. He stopped in front of me and we stared at each other. I had so much I wanted to say him to but I didn't no where to begin.

_I miss you. I miss you a lot. You've become my best friend. I don't know what else you are. I don't know what Gale is either. I'm sorry I can't separate my feelings for the two of you. I'm sorry I've hurt you. I'm sorry I'm such a mess. I miss you I miss you I miss you._

I couldn't say any of those things and it was killing me. Kyler licked his lips and then unexpectedly wrapped his arms around me. I sighed in relief at the warmth that he engulfed me with. My hands slid up his back and clung to the tops of his shoulders. I noticed Gale staring at us but I closed my eyes so I could pretend I hadn't seen. My ear tickled as Kyler whispered to me.

"Be Safe, okay?" His voice almost broke on these few words.

"I'm so sorry." I said into his chest. The words slipped past my mouth without me even meaning for them to. I was sorry for the party, for the night everything went wrong with the two of us. I was sorry for myself, really. For being such a horrible person with such a screwed up life.

I heard him sigh and his fingers tangled themselves in my hair. It felt so good. _So good._ I felt his lips press to the very top of my head quickly. Then he pulled me away from him and I almost screamed from the loss of contact. He gave me that million dollar smile and said, "You don't need to be sorry. We're friends, Madge. We will..." He swallowed and continued, "We will always be friends."

The wind blew and a piece of my hair stuck to my cheek. I tucked it behind my ear and stared at the brilliant, hilarious, and tragic boy in front of me. He was everything I had ever wanted in a boy. He was beyond sweet and caring, he always had me laughing, he was brave and bold in all the right ways. He was handsome and witty and a complete goof ball.

But then there was Gale. And no matter what I felt towards Kyler, there would always be a "but then there's gale'.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Kyler." I said as I turned and stepped on the hovercraft, feeling even more horrible and confused than I had before I had talked to Kyler.

The six of us gathered onto the small Trois hovercraft and took off to the outskirts of District 12, the never ending and always beautiful woods. The ride wasn't too bad. Just a few hours. I was more nervous about what we would find when we got there. Would we get shot before our feet even hit the ground? Probably. I sighed and wondered if this was a good idea, after all.

And as we got closer to the district, my nerves only grew into an actual panic. Our pilot informed us that there was plenty of Capitol helicopters showing up on his monitor. They wouldn't question our hovercraft in the sky because it was Trois, but they would definitely question it if we landed too close to District 12.

"We can't land to film this Propo." Haymitch told us some time later. "If we land, they will know it's us. We need to film it from the hovercraft. Right now. It's a good idea, anyways. Having us be up in the air like this, it will be harder for them to track our location."

Peeta looked out the window. "The air doesn't seem very safe with all these other hovercraft's."

"But the ground is even more dangerous. This is our best option." He took out a tripod and set up a camera. He told us to line up. We all looked at each other for a moment but then shrugged. This was better than nothing, right? I stood with Katniss to my right and Finnick on my left. Haymitch walked over and stood next to Peeta. "Alright. It will start recording in about thirty seconds. I want you each to say your name, followed by "I am alive and still fighting." Then, we will all say in unison, "Together, we will fight and conquer."

The camera began to make beeps to signify it's countdown. We all shuffled awkwardly and fixed our hair and clothes. The final beep. The red light on the camera turned to green. Katniss started us off.

"I am Katniss Everdeen. I am alive and still fighting."

"My name is Madge Undersee. I am alive and still fighting."

Finnick went next. Followed by Haymitch.

"My name is Peeta Mellark. I am alive and still fighting."

Gale's eyes took on a darker look than usual. He looked into the camera and practically scowled. "My name is Gale Hawthorne. I am alive and still fighting."

We all opened our mouths to finish in unison but Gale kept talking to our surprise.

"And if the Capitol thinks for a second that we are hiding, they are wrong. We are not cowards. They are _the_ cowards. You want to play dirty, Capitol? Well, we are more than willing to play even dirtier. You're not as strong as you think you are. Your power is dwindling. How long do you think the districts will keep acting as your little puppets?" He was practically screaming his words, spitting them at the camera. "Soon enough, they will cut the strings. I know you think you can just keep killing people to scare them, but what happens when you have no people left? What then? You want to terrify us? You're the ones who should be terrified. Your perfect little kingdom is about to crumble before your very eyes. Get ready, Capitol. This fight isn't over. It hasn't even begun."

"Together we will fight and conquer." We all finished, although we were all quite shaken by Gale's words. Haymitch ran and clicked the stop button. We all stared at Gale.

"What?" He asked nonchalantly, like nothing had just happened. His face was still bright red. "They almost killed my brother..." He said simply.

I was just about to respond to that when the hovercraft swerved sharply and I was thrown back into the wall. I screamed at the impact. Peeta and Katniss had somehow managed to grab onto something and stay standing. The rest of us were scattered all around the floor. Another jolt hit, even more vicious than the first. Katniss and Peeta crashed to the ground.

"What the hell is happening?" Haymitch screamed to the pilot from his place on the floor.

"Somebody is shooting at us. I'm trying to get out of here!" He hurled back.

Somebody was shooting at us? But... why? They didn't know we were in this hovercraft! They couldn't possibly know! It was a Trois hovercraft. Another Jolt. The pilot was trying to dodge the hits. I crawled to the window and tried to see where the other hovercraft was. As I stood on my knees and strained my neck, we made a quick swerve to the right. I fell backwards.

And right onto Gale's chest.

My palms were flat against his shirt and my head had fell somewhere near his neck. I awkwardly lifted my face up and was met with his wide eyes. I mumbled an apology but couldn't help myself as I lingered there above Gale for a few more moments then necessary.

"It's alright. It happens." He said as he helped me back up. His hands lifted me. I sat up and got all the way off of Gale. To my surprise, he didn't move away from me. In fact, he grabbed my wrist to keep me steady while the plane swerved left and right, up and down. I heard someone throw up somewhere else on the hovercraft and could only hope I wasn't next.

I heard the Pilot swear and then after some more swerving, the plane steadied. We all held our breath but then the Pilot turned around and told us that we had gotten away. We all sighed in relief and stood to our feet. Gale let go of my wrist and stood up first, helping me to my feet. I smiled at the simple gesture.

"That was a close call." Finnick said.

The word, "Yeah," had just left my lips when we heard it. A loud bang followed by our plane jolting to the right sharply. And then, our plane began to spin around in circles as it tumbled down through the sky. We were all scattered on the floor once again. I had crashed my face into something hard and cold and was pretty sure it was bleeding. Someone was screaming. I heard someone throw up again.

It wasn't until the Pilot began to scream as well that I realized what was happening.

We had been shot.

* * *

**_A/N:_**

**_Five reasons why you should forgive me for taking a month to update:_**

**_I am in College._**

**_I am doing Nanowrimo (I have to write a 50 thousand word novel in ONE month, the month of November. It's friggin hard.)_**

**_I have to see my friends sometimes._**

**_I haven't been home much_**

**_I went on vacation a few weeks ago and didn't have access to this document._**

**_Anyways, yeah. There it is. Sorry this chapter sucks and is soooo short. Everything will began to get better, I swear. I know it feels like nobody can catch a break right now. And Kyler and Gale are tearing me apart. I love them both so much, so I feel ya if you've told me the same. I am glad I wrote a character you could all fall in love with but... it's hard. This IS a Gadge story. ANyways... writing stories is hard, dear god. I am sick of writing right now so just review if you're still reading? Thanks._**

**_P.S- KADGE. GADGE. I CAN'T CHOOSE WHO I LOVE MORE._**

**_P.S.S- SORRY FOR MISTAKES. UGH I AM REALLY TIRED RIGHT NOW._**


	11. Chapter 11

I woke up to my face in a pile of dirt. This didn't make sense. I was on a hovercraft. We had just finished filming a short propo and we were headed back to Trois. But then of course... we started to swerve left and right and all over. And then... well then we were shot.

I forced my eyes to open and brushed away the dirt off my face. _Where was I? Think, Madge! Think. _I glanced around at the trees but it wasn't anything I recognized. Wherever our hovercraft had went down at it, it wasn't somewhere I was familiar with. I sat up slowly and found nothing on my body appeared to be broken. Just bruised. I heard someone cough and I turned around to see Gale lying on the ground about fifteen feet away. As I glanced left and right, I didn't notice anybody else from our hovercraft nor did I see the actual hovercraft itself. That was probably a bad sign.

I crawled over to where Gale was laying and helped him sit up. He blinked and looked up in the sky, clearly confused.

"Our hovercraft crashed." I clarified for him.

He stared at me and then said, "Well then where the hell is our hovercraft?"

I sighed and stood to my feet. The movement made my vision go black for a moment and I almost lost my footing. I grabbed onto the tree next to me to keep my balanced and waited for the woozy feeling to pass. It finally did. And I began to walk around, slowly of course. I heard footsteps behind me and knew Gale was following me.

"Where is everybody else?" He asked.

I sighed. "I don't _know_, Gale." I snapped. I had hardly spoken to Gale since the party. His very presence seemed to aggravate me. I guess I was just too afraid of the pain that I knew he would inevitably bring me. He was too wishy-washy and I couldn't take another moment of it. So I was swallowed down the pain and barking at him, like a dog.

I heard him let out a breath between his teeth and mumble something about me being crabby. I ignored his comment. I had more important things to do, like find everybody else. How could we have possibly gotten this far away from them?

Gale pointed out something white about ten yards away. It had been hidden from our view by a bush but was now visible. Walking towards it, I noticed it was the back half of the hovercraft. Just the back half.

"The hovercraft must've broken in half when we lost control after being shot. Wherever the rest of the hovercraft is, that's where everybody is." I said as nonchalantly as possible, although I was shaking uncontrollably and my voice was probably showing it. A deep, gnawing feeling began to eat away at me.

What if the other half of the hovercraft didn't fair as well as our half? What if they didn't make it?

I shook my head, clearing the foolish thought away. This was not the time or place to think like that. We had to find everybody else. I crossed my arms over my chest and looked for clues to where they could be. I studied the broken, sharp edges of where the hovercraft had been torn away.

Supplies laid scattered all around, including the camera we had filmed our propo on. It was surely broken, but I was able to pull out the memory card and slip it into my pocket. At least we still had the footage. We could air the propo later that day if we found everyone... and figured out how to get back to Trois.

I went inside the hovercraft and gathered some supplies. Hovercraft's were loaded with emergency supplies. I got two small hand guns and tossed one to Gale, out of habit from the hunger games, I guess. But right when it left my hand, I regretted it. Gale wasn't exactly stable enough to be running around with a gun in his hand. Last time he had a gun, he had tried to shoot me.

_No, Madge_. I reminded myself. He_ didn't_ shoot you. And he had the chance. You begged him to shoot you and he hesitated. Because even then, the real Gale was there, screaming to get out, to break out of the monster the Capitol had created out of my him.

Gale must've read the concern on my face because he sighed and dropped the gun to the floor, lifting his hands up into the air. "I don't need a gun, Madge. I know you don't think it's safe."

I sighed and bit my lip, wondering what to do. It would be safe for him not to have one. But on the other hand, it would be _safer_ for him _to_ have one. Who knew where we even where, in terms of the globe. A peace keeper could appear at any minute and we both needed a weapon of defense.

"No. Pick it up." I said quickly. I was going to leave it at that but then, the words slipped past my lips. "I trust you," I said, my words having more meaning and value than I intended them to._ Dang_, I thought. _I am supposed to be mad at him. I am supposed to be treating him like dirt._

Gale stared at me, letting the weight of my words sink in. Then, he gave me the tiniest smirk and lifted up the gun. He attached it to his belt and then said, "Well, then. We better go find the rest of the group."

I was determined to not let anything nice slip out of my mouth after that. So, I dramatically rolled my eyes as I grabbed some first aid kits and some water bottles. Then, I sighed loudly for no reason other than for Gale to hear me and took the lead. Wherever we were, the grass was tall and itchy. A light green color that reached my knees. I was terrified of what sort of creatures were lurking around my feet. I tried not to think about it as I surveyed the land. No sign of anything.

We walked another half mile before Gale announced that he thought we should be heading left. I was heading right. I turned on my heel and narrowed me eyes. "Why would we go left? The hovercraft would've had to fly backwards in order for it to land left."

Gale smirked. "It didn't land, it _crashed_. It got shot and slammed into a tree, splitting the hovercraft in two. The impact could've easily sent the other half backwards."

I sighed and crossed my arms over my chest. The sun was starting to beat down and I was still shaky from the whole, hovercraft crashing thing. I was hot and tired and thirsty and terrified. I definitely was not in the mood for Gale to annoy me.

"Listen, _Hawthorne_," I said, hissing his last name, "I am the only person in my sane mind here so I think that gives me the authority to decide which direction we move in."

Gale snorted. "Oh, sorry. I forgot I'm crazy. Let's throw you at the Capitol and see how well you handle that." He retorted.

"I wouldn't have put a gun to your head, if that's what you think." I snapped back. I knew I was going too far. I knew I was acting like such a complete and total brat. But I was just so irritated. I was so mad at Gale. I was so mad at myself. I wanted to hate him. Why couldn't I hate him? Why did I have to love him?

"Oh, you would have, Madge. And you _would've_ pulled the trigger." He stated with confidence.

"So, why didn't _you_?" I yelled. I didn't realize until then how loud my voice sounded with their was nothing around us but silence.

"What?"

I nervously uncross my arms and then crossed them again. "Why didn't you pull the trigger?" I asked again, a little more softly this time.

He looked towards the ground for a long, painstaking moment. Then, his eyes found mine again. "I have no idea why. I just... I couldn't." The confusion, the desperation, the longing, it was all there mixed in those simple yet complicated words. I had to force myself to look away.

"We better keep moving." I said before brushing past him with my eyes on the ground. "And we are heading right, _not_ left." I began to walk towards the right but it only took me a moment to notice that Gale was going left. Was he serious? Well, we couldn't exactly separate out here. We could too easily get lost and then we would all be screwed. I swallowed my pride before turning and running after him. I reached his heels and I could practically feel him smirking. Stupid, arrogant jerk.

We walked about a half a mile in and I was getting so beyond mad. This was not the right direction. We were wasting time, wasting daylight. I had to stop to take a drink of water. I tossed the bottle to Gale, even though I was too furious to even look at him. I heard him sigh and he walked over and handed the bottle back to me.

"What's your problem today?" He asked me.

"_My problem_," I began through gritted teeth, "is that you're leading us in the wrong direction. _My problem_ is we were in a freaking hovercraft crash! _My problem_ is everyone else might be dead or dying and we will die out here too. Or worse, the capitol will capture us. _My problem_ is I can't even handle to be near you right now, let alone trapped in the middle of no mans land with only you as my company!" I finished, my face red with anger and my heart beating far too fast.

Gale didn't say anything for a long time. I was too afraid to look at his face to read his reaction. And then, finally, he whispered, "Madge, look at me." I looked up and his face was soft and relaxed, warm and welcoming. "We are going to find them. And everything is going to just fine."

I snorted. "Since when are you Mister Optimism?"

He gave me a sad smile. "Since you decided to be Miss Pessimism."

I went to object but he held up his hand, silencing me. "Can we just not argue for five seconds? Let's just walk, alright?" I wanted to argue even with _that_ but I took a deep breath and refrained. I nodded my head, my lips in a thin line. We walked another half mile. I was starting to lose hope.

Another half mile after that. I was ready to cry.

And finally, when we finished our third mile, I literally fell to my knees and had to try to force the water to stay in my eyes. Gale was still walking ahead of me and it took him a moment to notice that I had stopped. He turned and walked back over towards me. When he was just a few feet from me, I looked up and shook my head.

"We are never going to find them."

"Just get up." He said. "We have to keep going."

"Don't you get it?" I screamed, the tears spilling over now on their own accord. "We lost them, Gale! And there isn't a damn thing we can do about it! How about you let reality smack that stupid, brave mask off of your face because it's time to face the facts. We are screwed!" I screamed from my knees.

Just then, we heard a faint sound and we both whipped our heads to the left. We listened. We heard it again. Gale held out his hand and helped me to the ground quickly. And then, without letting go, he began to run towards the noise, dragging me along with him. It took all I had not to focus on the way his hand felt inside of mine once again.

We raced through the thick, tall grass and stopped, listening for the sound again. We heard it again but this time, it was much closer and we could make out what they were saying.

They were calling for help.

We turned towards a tree and then, about a hundred yards away, we saw the rest of the hovercraft, the front of it wedged deep into the ground. Small pieces of it laid shattered all around the ground. Peeta and Katniss were on their feet, although they were both bloody. Haymitch was leaning over somebody next to a large shard of the hovercraft.

We ran over to them and Peeta embraced me in a hug. "You're okay?" He asked me. I pulled away and nodded and then looked over at Haymitch. He was lying next to Finnick, whose left leg was stuck under a huge chuck of the hovercraft.

"Oh, Finnick!" I screamed as I ran over to Haymitch's side. Finnick was sweating and losing color in his face.

Haymitch turned to Gale. "We tried to lift it. It's just too heavy. But with you, Gale, we can probably do it."

He nodded and Haymitch, Peeta, and Gale tried to lift up the huge piece. Katniss and I knew we would just get in the way if we tried to help. It took them a few times, but they were finally able to lift up the piece. Katniss grabbed Finnick by his armpits and dragged him out from under the shattered metal. I helped lean him against a tree. He was still conscious but he wasn't saying anything, besides moaning. I pulled out the first-aid kits and the water. Scattering the supplies on the ground, I stared at them dumbfounded. I didn't know what to do. His bone was crushed and he had lost a lot of blood. He was so pale.

"How long have we been out here? How long was his leg trapped?" I asked.

Peeta ran his fingers through his thick hair. "Uh... I'm not sure. At least a few hours, if not longer."

I held a fresh bottle of water up to Finnick's lips and he took a small sip. He coughed and then tried to speak. I put my finger to his dry lips and shook my head. He didn't need to speak. It would just make him lose even more of his energy.

Not knowing what to do, I cleaned off the blood with some water and then wrapped his leg loosely in bandage. I handed out the first aid kits so everyone else could clean up and mend their wounds. It appeared the front part of the plane was a much more dangerous place to be for the crash. Haymitch had a bleeding forehead. Katniss's eye was black and swollen and her shirt was bloody. Peeta had a huge gash on his shoulder. I realized just then that we were missing someone.

"Where's the pilot?"

Everyone grew silent and shifted their focus to the ground. I rolled my eyes. I wasn't in the mood. "Where is the pilot?" I asked again more sharply.

Haymitch slammed his fist into the ground. "He's dead!"

* * *

He was dead before we could even get to him. He had been buried underneath all the rubble of the hovercraft. Being at the very front of the plane, the pilot had taken the worst of it all as the hovercraft's front half had taken a nose dive into the ground.

Madge's face wore the horror that all of ours had a few hours ago. His body was still there, inside of the hovercraft, smashed between the walls of the tremendous metal. There was nothing we could've done. And the sinking feeling that his death was on our hands wouldn't leave us. The Capitol's hovercraft had somehow figured out the rebels were inside and that is why they shot at us. Another death on my hands. Another mans blood that wouldn't scrub off my fingertips. I bet he had a wife. Maybe even some children. They would never forgive us. He was from Trois, he wasn't supposed to be involved in something like this. He was supposed to be safe.

I wondered how many more lives would be taken before I died myself. I looked over at Peeta, who was now talking with Gale, and had to fight the horrible feeling that was rising inside of me, the one that reminded me he too could die at some point. And what would I do then? What would I do if Peeta died and I lived?

I sighed and leaned against a tree. I heard Finnick moan. I shut my eyes and I tried to block it all out. This was all too much for one day. Much too much. I didn't get much of a chance to block out the world, however. Because the next moment, Haymitch was formulating a plan.

"Alright, listen. With no pilot, we have no way of notifying anyone we are out here. All the radios are smashed to pieces. I am sure we could dig up some firecrackers that would signal our location but then the Capitol would surely find us first."

I let out a short, cold laugh. "So, basically, we need to let Trois know where we are but we can't do that without also letting the Capitol know?" I asked.

Haymitch glared at me. "Not helping. Shut up." He swallowed hard and then said, "So, our only option is to walk. I found a map folded in the hovercraft." He pulled it out of his pocket and opened it up. It was huge. "It's a map of the land surrounding Trois. Luckily for us, our hovercraft spun backwards when it crashed. We are about a weeks walk away from Trois. I am assuming by tonight, they will come look for us. The closer we walk towards Trois, the easier and quicker it is for them to find us."

I heard Madge sigh. "We can't exactly walk with Finnick like this."

Haymitch nodded. "Obviously not all of us. We will need a few to stay back and then we can come back and get you once Trois rescues us."

"Of course," Gale began, "This could all go horribly wrong if a Capitol hovercraft reaches down to us instead of a Trois one. They know we got shot. They are probably looking for us right now."

"It's a fifty-fifty shot and we don't have any other options." Haymitch replied.

We all looked at each other, knowing this day could be it. We were either going to be captured by the Capitol or rescued by Trois. This could be the last day we were all together. This could be the last day we were alive. Without giving it a second more of thought, I said, "I will stay back with Finnick."

Peeta turned his head towards me. "And I'll stay too." I smiled at him. I was hoping he would say that.

Haymitch nodded. "Sounds good to me." He started to gather supplies then. They went through the supplies Madge had brought from the back of the hovercraft and the ones they could find underneath the rubble of the front of the hovercaft. Luckily, Madge and Gale had both grabbed hand guns. They left us a pile of the other supplies. We were divided by district. The District 12 rebels walking and the District 4 rebels staying behind. And perhaps, only three of us would get captured. That would be worse than all of us getting captured, however.

I don't think we would have the will to fight after watching our friends executed before our very eyes. A thought occurred to me quickly and sharply: It was like the games all over again. Fighting for our lives out in the wilderness, deathly afraid of what was behind every corner.

Except this was worse. Much worse.

When Haymitch's crew was ready to go, we stood around rather awkwardly, not knowing what was coming. I found myself hugging Madge first, holding her close for a moment before letting go. She was perhaps the only girl in my life, besides Prim, who I felt like I could truly trust and believe in. Haymitch touched my cheek and went to say something but then just closed his mouth.

I stood in front of Gale and knew he still had no idea who I really even was. To him, I was just some rebel who he was supposedly allies with in the games. Well... up until the final four, anyways. Up until we no longer could be allies. But to my surprise, Gale grabbed my hand and squeezed it, his eyes finding mine and locking onto them. He held my hand for a long moment before he left go, dropping his own back to his side.

"Good luck, Katniss." He said.

"You too, Gale."

They were off then. And we were staying. And Finnick was getting worse. He laid by the tree doing nothing but moaning and sometimes, whispering Annie's name. I could barely handle it. I changed the bandage on his leg and wet a strip of cloth from my sweatshirt that I ripped up to put it to his head. I was too scared to do anything more. I knew one wrong move and I could make everything with his leg much worse. We needed to get him to a hospital and soon. I eventually found some basic pain medicine tucked into a pocket of one of the first aid kits. I forced him to swallow and then within fifteen minutes, he fell asleep, the moaning finally stopping.

I sighed in relief and slumped down to the dirt ground next to his sleeping body. Peeta sat down next to me. We had less than an hour left of sunlight. It would be harder for anyone, the Capitol _or_ Trois, to spot us after dark. This was both a good and bad thing, depending on who reached us first. I tried not to think about that, however. Because for the moment, Peeta was with me and he was safe.

I leaned into him then. His arm wrapped around my shoulder and pulled me close. My head found home on his chest and I sighed into his warmth. He pulled his sweatshirt off and laid in on top of me, for I had began to shiver. Everything about the situation, the unfamiliar scenery, the sinking fear in my gut, the fact that we both might die soon, reminded me far too much of the games. I needed a distraction.

"Peeta, tell me a story." I begged him.

I heard him let out a breath as he became deep in thought. After a moment, his arm tightened around my shoulder and he said, "Oh, I have one. You'll like this." I smiled and snuggled into him even closer. He began. " It was a year or so before we met, I think I was about seven at the time... anyways, we were out by the beach and my father was catching fish. He turned and pointed out your mother, who was splashing around the water with your father."

My heart ached at the thought of my father, of the days when he was still alive and well. Peeta continued. "He said to me, 'I wanted to marry that woman, Peeta. But she ran off with the poorest fisherman in town.' I remember asking him why she would choose him if she could've have my father and he said, 'Because, when he sings, even the fish go still in the sea.'".

He was right, of course. My father's voice was like nothing I had ever heard before. Magical was the only word that could even begin to describe it. I interlaced my fingers through Peeta's free hand that was laying across his stomach. "Do you think my mother would've married him if she hadn't met my father?"

Peeta sighed. "Probably. My father said she really seemed to like him. But, she _loved_ your father. That was the difference."

"Isn't strange? Your father falling for my mother. Us becoming best friends. You..." I trailed off.

"Me falling in love with you?" He finished for me. I laughed into his chest. "Yeah, it's strange." He said and then added, "But not that strange. We were a lot a like, my father and I. We had a weakness for beautiful things."

I looked up then, finding Peeta's eyes and locking them with my own. I wondered if my mother had ever sat just like me, with Peeta's fathers arms wrapped around her and his eyes gazing into her own. And in that moment, I wondered how she ever turned him down. I found myself leaning up to kiss him but then his eyes found something in the distance and he gasped. "Look at the sunset, Katniss."

I turned my attention and gasped as well. It was beautiful. Purple and orange and yellow swirling across the sky, painting it like a picture. And with all the trees and the tall grass, for a moment, it felt like paradise. I had to kiss him then. Because this was a evening of beautiful things. I leaned in and pressed my lips to his quickly, tenderly, passionately. We sure did kiss a lot. And he never made me explain what all this kissing meant. I knew what it meant to him and I still wasn't sure what it meant to me. I was just grateful for the beautiful boy in front of me and the chance to be locked in his arms. Of course, another light appeared above us and we jumped apart, gasping.

It was a hovercraft. And has it lowered itself to the ground, the fear grew inside of me. What if it was the Capitol's? What if we were about to be captured? What if we were about to be killed? I grabbed Peeta's hand and put my free hand to Finnick's shoulder. Whatever was about to happen, we would face it together.

"Katniss, it's okay." Peeta whispered and I noticed what he had already seen; the Trois hovercraft logo across the side of the plane. I sighed in relief and the doors opened. Haymitch and Gale and Madge stepped out and we all helped carry Finnick inside. When the doors shut, a doctor immediately starting working on Finnick. I was thankful they had been wise enough to bring one along.

President Zander was there too, wearing a concerned expression that worried me. What was going on? She started talking all too soon, bringing my worst fears into real nightmares.

"The Capitol somehow figured out you guys were staying at Trois. They also figured out you were up in the sky. That's why they shot at your hovercraft. We had a backup hovercraft released the moment we figured out they knew. After you guys were shot, our backup hovercraft was able to shoot the Capitol's plane down to the ground and your hovercraft went off their radar systems, since you crashed.

"They poured into the country, searching for your family members." I gasped but Zander shook her head. "It's okay, Katniss. We were able to hide them all underground, nobody was found or injured. They didn't hurt any of us either since we aren't citizens of Panem. They are legally allowed to try to capture you, however. And your families. They left us alone for now but I have reason to believe they will be back tomorrow. You guys all have to leave Trois as soon as possible."

"Our families are okay, though?" I asked.

She nodded. "They are okay. Madge gave me the memory card for your propo when we rescued her. I just aired it live half an hour ago. All the districts have seen it, which is good. Maybe it will even throw the Capitol off your tracks for a moment or two. All I know is as soon as we get back to Trois, you guys need to get the hell out of there."

We all nodded, understanding. Which meant we needed to come up with a plan and we needed to come up with one quickly. Now that the districts had seen our propo, they knew we were alive and fighting. This would give them incentive to fight back. But it would also give the Capitol incentive to tighten their reigns on the citizens. We needed to end this thing. We needed to end it before it began.

"We need to go to the Capitol." I said. "We can't start small. We have to start big."

Haymitch stared at me. "Katniss, we can't just waltz into the Capitol and kill the president. We need the districts on our side and-"

"They are on our side!" I said. "Look, we can contact them and get their help. Distract the Capitol so they won't see the attack coming. Blind-side them. Take down our biggest force first. The only districts still on the Capitol's side as this point is one and two, maybe three. We have so many working for our advantage. If we keep taking baby steps, we will only get baby results."

Haymitch looked towards the ground for a moment, deep in thought. I knew he was considering it. I knew he was weighing the possibilities, which was good. "Alright." He said after a long while. "We do this _my _way though. No questions asked. Got it?"

I smiled. "Got it."

Haymitch even found it in himself to smirk. "Let's go take down this government from the inside out."

* * *

When we reached Trois, everything starting happening very quickly. We were rushed off our hovercraft and there were everyone's family members, ready to greet them. The look on Kyler's face when he saw that I was okay was enough to melt my heart right then and there. He grabbed the back of my head and pulled me into him. I almost cried from the relief his touch brought me.

"You're alive." He said desperately, whispering the words into my ear.

"You're alive too." I said before I pulled away. I smiled and said, "And we're going to the Capitol."

He looked surprised by this. "Really? You are? Sounds like a death sentence." He said nonchalantly. We all knew every move we made was a death sentence.

I shrugged. "It may be. But at least we will die with dignity. You coming?" I teased, because I knew he surely was.

He shook his head no, making a mock disgusted a face. "Ew, gross. Go try to kill the president with Madge Undersee and the rest of the rebels? Why would I want to do that?"

I found myself laughing for possibly the first time all day. "You would have to be crazy."

"Good thing I am." He said with a smile. He ruffled my hair then, the way he did with Prim. I pushed him off of me with a giggle and turned around. I had somehow stumbled right into Gale and his family. I watched the way Posy clung to Gale's legs and the way his mother kissed his cheek. I swallowed. Haymitch appeared besides me and saw me watching them.

"You know, today, when you two wouldn't stop bickering the whole time, I was reminded of something."

Our arguing had only gotten worse when we walked with Haymitch towards Trois. I fought with Gale with every word he said, barking and snapping at him more with every passing moment. "What did it remind you of?" I asked Haymitch.

He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned into my ear. "When I was training you two for the games."

I snorted. "Well, he was an arrogant jerk then and he still is. Not a very startling comparison."

"Don't you get it?" Haymitch asked. "You loved him then and you love him now. That's why you pick fights with the boy. Because you're terrified of how you feel and masking it with anger is the easiest thing to do."

I sighed. "I can't afford to love him anymore. He's too indecisive, he's too wishy-washy. It kills me, Haymitch."

Haymitch exhaled softly. "Being mad at him for things out of his control aren't helping anything, Madge. He was taken by the Capitol, he was stripped of his memory of the games and of you. He is fighting on our side even though he was brainwashed to think the Capitol was good. He is trying to talk to you, reach out to you, and you're too upset to even look at him. Give him more time. Be more patient. He would fight like hell to get you back and you know it. Show him the same respect." Haymitch walked away then.

I didn't want him to be right but I knew he was. I wasn't being fair. I was so mad at Gale for things out of his control. With a sigh, I walked over to where he was standing with his family. I touched his shoulder and he turned around.

"Hey, Gale." I said softly.

"Hey, Madge."

"Thanks for making me go left today." I said. "Because if we had listened to me, we would've went right and we would've never found the others and Finnick would've probably died and... just thank you." I finished with a genuine smile.

He did something that surprised me then. He reached out and cupped my cheek in his hand. It seemed so natural the way he did it. The way he just reached out and touched me. I mean, before, when we were in the games, this would've seemed so normal, almost like an instinct.

He pulled it away a second later, something confusing registering across his face. It was almost like he had touched me on accident, his instinct telling him to do so but then his brain reminding him that he did not know me. He blinked and shook his head, the confusion fading off his face. He smiled simply and said, "You're welcome, Madge." He turned then and walked away, the touch all but forgotten.

Except I would never forget. Because for one moment, whether he realized it or not, he had remembered.

* * *

**_A/N: SO MUCH GOING ON IN THIS CHAPTER. Gadge, Kadge, Everlark, Finnick feels, plot development... it never ends. I really enjoyed writing this chapter. I hope you liked it as well! Any questions? Just ask! PLEASE review!_**


	12. Chapter 12

Getting to the Capitol wasn't the hard part.

In fact, that was easy. Someone in Trois had the bright idea of disguising one of their hovercraft's by painting on a replica of the Capitol logo. Once we arrived in the Capitol, we were able to land on the roof of an old warehouse that Haymitch had approved ahead of time. It was hardly used anymore and he knew the one guy who still brought in shipments to the warehouse. He was someone we could trust.

We were staying in the attic of the warehouse and as far as attics go, it wasn't too bad. It was large and spacious but there were spiders and a lot of dust that had us all coughing up our lungs. It was our first night there and we were all exhausted. We had traveled most of the day and now that we were here, it was really setting in. We were in the Capitol. We could be caught and killed at any moment. Every single move we made from that moment on was crucial. Every step we took could either have us killed or save our lives. This was it. This was our chance.

And we were either going to make it or break it.

I heard Finnick's laugh from the other side of the attic and I turned, smiling at the sound of my mentor's voice. Finnick had been pumped with the best medicine Trois had the entire hovercraft ride over to the Capitol and his leg, which was in a big and obnoxious cast, would be healed in just a few days, thanks to their medicine. We would forever owe Trois for all they did for us. And if it was all for nothing, if we died in the Captiol... _no_. I wouldn't allow myself to think like that. We were not going to die. We were going to conquer.

"Katniss?" A hand went to my shoulder and I turned around, finding Peeta standing in front of me, a small smile on his lips. I smiled back, fighting the urge to throw my arms around him. Every time I looked at him lately, I was reminded of all we had been through. I was thrown back into time and reminded of the days in the arena, where we only had each other, where we wanted nothing more than to protect each other, where nothing was enough if we weren't holding each other and keeping each other safe. And after all that we had been through, after all the times we almost died or lost each other or lost our minds, we were finally in the Capitol, trying to kill President Snow. Together. Always together.

"Yeah?" I asked.

"Madge found a pack of cards in one of those boxes over there." He pointed across the attic and I had to squint to see what boxes he was referring to. We had one small lantern and it did little in terms of lighting up the dark attic. This was for the best, however. We didn't want any light to peak through from the outside and cause any suspicion. Peeta shoved his hands into his pockets then. "Wanna play?"

I shook my head. "No, that's okay. I was hoping to talk to Haymitch before we all go to bed."

He nodded and then touched my shoulder gently before dropping his hand again. Then he turned and walked away. Simple touches, little smiles and glances. Those were the things I was beginning to notice about Peeta, more so than usual. He was made up of so many tiny, little pieces and whenever I realized another piece of him, I tucked it away somewhere safe where nobody could ever reach it. If I was captured, if I was captured and tutored, these were what I wanted to take with me: the hundreds and thousands of pieces of Peeta Mellark, my best friend.

I walked over to where Haymitch was laying against the wall next to Finnick and Annie, who refused to stay in Trois without Finnick. Trois let our family members stay because we knew bringing them with us was a death sentence. They shouldn't be found in Trois, not now that we were out of there. We were the real targets, not them.

I sat down next to Haymitch, pulling my legs up to my chest. "I want to hear the plan again." I said to him.

He rolled his eyes and turned to Finnick. "Can I just ignore her until she goes away?"

"She _never_ goes away." Finnick mumbled and I glared at him. He may have had a broken leg but he was getting zero sympathy from me. After all, he did practically torture me before the games with his stupid, flirtatious comments.

"He's a little loopy from the medicine. Ignore him." Annie said, before putting her hand to Finnick's knee.

Haymitch sighed loudly and then brought his voice down to a whisper. You could never be too careful in the Captiol. "This is the last time I am repeating this. In two days time, all the remaining districts on our side will start uprisings in their districts at the exact same time. One in the afternoon, Capitol time. This will advert attention from the Capitol and send the majority of the peace keepers to the districts. We won't have much time but we will hit the streets at One thirty, disguised as Peace Keepers ourselves.. Trake, the guy who got us into this warehouse, is working on getting us our Peace Keeper uniforms. From there ,we will head towards the President's mansion. Going in through the back garden, we will cut through the kitchen and head upstairs, to where Snow stays. He is sure to be in the comfort of his mansion, safe and warm. We get into his room and shoot him. Plain and simple."

I pulled my knees closer up to my chest. "Except for the part where the mansion will be guarded and locked. How long will they believe that we are Peace Keepers?"

Haymitch smirked. "That's why Trake gave me this." He pulled out a small, black bottle with a sprayer attached to the top. "We spray this into the air and the guards will be knocked out for a good three hours. We will be smart enough to wear face masks under our Peace Keeper helmets to protect us from the fumes."

I sighed. "All those districts, all those people, started uprisings just so we can even have a chance at this war, they are risking their lives for us." I looked down at the floor, the sweeping sensation of guilt taking over once again.

Haymitch's hand found my knee and I looked up. "No," He began," They are risking their lives for the good of this country. People will die, Katniss. They understand that. Just like we understand that we might die as well. But if we don't die trying to do something earth shattering, then what good are we? What good was any of this? Bombing the arena? Mayor Undersee dying? What good is any of that if we don't give everything we have to bring this country some damn justice?"

I smirked. Haymitch didn't get worked up much about the Capitol but when he did, what he said was always pure gold. I did something strange then. I leaned in and hugged him, wrapping my arms around his shoulders and pulling him close. He shifted awkwardly but then I felt his own hands wrap around my back, patting it soothingly.

"Thank you, Haymitch." I whispered. "For... everything."

"You're welcome." For once, his voice wasn't layered with bitterness and and hatred, it was peeled back and at its root, his voice was soft and soothing. It surprised me.

As we pulled away from each other, I said, "So, are we all under the same general consensus that this plan is going to blow up in our faces, like every other plan we make?"

Haymitch and Finnick nodded. Annie just smirked and leaned into Finnick, his arm wrapping around her shoulder automatically. The way I always caught them melting into each other made me certain that their love was irrevocable. They were so incredibly in sync with each other and always on the same page. Maybe that's what irrevocable love did to you; it nestled deep in your bones until two bodies became one.

* * *

"You can't play a King on top of my Ace, are you serious? Ace trumps every card in the deck." I said before yanking Kyler's card off the top of the playing pile. The three of us, Kyler, Peeta, and myself, were gathered around a small, candle-lit lantern as we played cards. It was something I had grown accustomed to doing with both Kyler and Peeta back in District Thirteen and it calmed my nerves, brought me back to a place of clarity. It was soothing and therapeutic, in a way.

"Whoever made up that rule was an idiot." Kyler mumbled before shoving his card back into the pile in his hand. "A King rules the land. It should trump every other card."

"Except the pretty little Ace." I said, twirling my card around my finger with a smirk.

He narrowed his eyes at me and Peeta laughed from besides us. Flickering my eyes a little to the left, it was obvious that Gale watching us, his expression soft and curious. I had asked if he wanted to play, but he said he would rather just watch and listen. I gave him a small smile then, which he returned.

A card hit me in the nose and I turned back, giggling. It was Peeta, surprisingly. Apparently, he was signaling me that it was my turn. I played my next card, which was another Ace, making me the winner. I laughed and picked up the cards, a boastful grin painted across my face.

"You must cheat." Kyler said, pointing his finger at me. "Because nobody can beat me. I am literally the greatest card player in the country of Panem."

"Second greatest, actually." I corrected him.

He shook his head at me slowly, a playful look in his eyes. "What am I ganna do with you, Madge Undersee?"

I smiled and opened my mouth to reply. But just then, Haymitch appeared behind me and asked, "Can one of you go down to the ground level of the warehouse? There is a pile in the back room with some thin mattresses we need for tonight."

I shrugged. "I'll do it. Anyone want to join me?"

Simultaneously, Kyler and Gale stood to their feet and called out, "I'll go with you!"

They both turned and stared at each other, the room suddenly far too quiet. Kyler swallowed and threw his hands up in the air. "Go ahead." He said quietly to Gale. Sitting back down on the floor, Kyler took a sudden interest in wiping dust off his pants.

I sighed. I hated that things had to be this way. Motioning Gale to follow me, we opened up the door in the floor of the attic and pulled down the ladder. Slowly and steadily, we moved down it. There was a little more natural light at the ground level of the warehouse because there were high windows that let in the sunlight. We had to do this quickly. If we walked in a straight line, we would hit the hallway of the warehouse and that was where the backroom was. It was much harder to see once we were in the hallway, however. We had to keep our palms pressed up against the wall to guide us.

My fingers ran against the cool, cement surface and then, the texture changed. I felt a smooth, icy metal and knew I had reached the door. Twisting the knob as slowly and quietly as possibly, the door opened and we shut it behind us once we were inside. My hand went to the wall to find a light switch. I found it and flicked it on, the room coming to life with brightness. There were boxes everywhere, like the rest of the warehouse. But there was also thin, rolled up mattresses stacked in the corner. The ropes holding them together would make them easy to carry.

I noticed the mattresses had the Capitol logo on the side of them. Actually, even the boxes in the room had the Capitol logo stamped onto them. It was everywhere, reminding everyone every second of the day that this place owned them. This place they called home would never let them forget, never them escape where they came from. I suddenly felt sick to my stomach.

As I glanced around the room, I noticed that even the walls were painted with the Capitol logo on them. So this was really happening. I was really in the Capitol. I was really hiding out in a warehouse, planning the assassination of the President. My father had probably stood in this warehouse when he was planning my escape from the arena. He might've even stood in this very room. I was becoming rather dizzy.

"I'll take five, you take three, sound good?" Gale asked before walking over to the pile.

I was breathing too hard to answer him. Fear was paralyzing me, overwhelming me, eating me alive. I couldn't do this. I couldn't be here, I couldn't be in the place where my father was killed. It was too much, too real, too brutally exhausting.

"Madge?" Gale looked up when he noticed I wasn't moving towards the pile of mattress with him. He crossed the room back to where I stood but I couldn't even look at him. I could only stare at the floor and try not to have another panic attack like I did when we stayed in that bomb shelter. "Madge? Are you okay?"

He put his hand to my shoulder and that small touch, that microscopic gesture of affection, was enough to have me bursting down into tears. I crashed myself into Gale's chest and began to break down. His hands wrapped around my back and mine clung to the fabric of his shirt. I was sobbing then, babbling incoherent things. "My…my father… I can't… I can't do this, Gale! I can't be here. I am not s-strong. I am not strong enough to deal with this!" I cried, burying my face deep into his chest. I felt his hand tangle itself up in my hair and his chin rested on top of my head. His grip around me tightened and he spoke in soothing words, his voice a whisper.

"Shhh… you're okay. You're okay. You're ganna be okay, Madge. It's alright."

It wasn't much. But it was enough. It was enough to calm me down. Probably because it had been so very long since Gale had shown me any kind of sympathy. My breathing slowed and Gale's hand continued to run through my hair while his other hand ran up and down my back. The room grew quiet as we held each other. Seconds ticked away and I knew we needed to get back upstairs but I wasn't ready to let him go yet. I had wanted him to hold me like this for so long. I had missed his touch more than anything. It had literally been months. I deserved this. I deserved a few minutes of peace, wrapped up in Gale's arms, like those nights in the arena. I breathed him in, closing my eyes and promising myself I would not be the first one to let go.

But Gale did pull away a second later then. Abruptly and sharply, like someone had slapped him across the face. He stepped away from me, backing away slowing, shaking his head. His eyes were clouded with confusion and fear. No. It was happening again.

"Gale. I've had enough of this." I said quietly. "Whenever we get close, you snap back all the sudden, out of nowhere. You have to explain to me what is going on because I honestly cannot handle any more of this." I begged of him. I would get down on my hands and knees if I had to. I needed to know. I needed to know why he treated me this way.

Gale closed his eyes and ran his fingers through his hair. He was frustrated, I could see that. But so was I. I was so beyond frustrated. I could not handle another day of this; of this back and forth Gale. He either wanted me or he didn't. I wasn't in the mood to play any more games than I was already playing.

"Answer me." I said with a little more force. I crossed my hands over my chest. "Answer me or I swear to you, I will turn around and that will be it, Gale. I'll end this, whatever the hell is it. I'll turn around and never look back. So, I am standing here and I am begging you to tell me what is going on!"

He swallowed and in that moment, he looked so very young to me. Like we had flashbacked to that day four years ago when I watched him get beaten up by that peace keeper. Like we weren't Madge and Gale, the rebels, anymore. No. We were Madge and Gale, the mayor's daughter and the careless, hunter boy. We were young and wild and free and innocent. We were free of pain and bitterness and death. We were just children again.

Gale exhaled slowly and I could tell how badly he was shaking. You could hear it in his voice. His eyes flickered to mine and I had never seen them look so vulnerable before. Like he was spilling out every single one of his secrets to me, like he was suddenly an open book. When he spoke, his voice sounded a million miles away.

"Something happens when we touch, Madge. Something I can't understand."

I took a small step closer to him. "What do you mean?" I whispered.

He shook his head, his eyebrows furrowed. "It doesn't happen every time we touch and it's always really vague, like a blurry photograph. But…" He licked his lips. "It's like these flashes of scenes, scenes that I don't recognize but yet, they shake me as familiar. I can't make out faces of the people or even where they take place but… it's like getting the breath taking out of your lungs every time it happens. The impact of it hits me so hard every time. I don't get it, Madge. I don't understand what is happening but it's terrifying." He blinked rapidly and shoved his shaking hands into his pocket.

I stepped even closer to him now, closing the gap between us almost entirely. We were inches apart then. "You're…you're remembering." I said, coughing when my voice caught on those two words.

Gale shook his head. "I don't know. It's nothing vivid, you know? It's just really vague and weird, almost like a dream."

"Maybe the touch isn't intense enough." I blurted out, before biting my lip, my cheeks turning bright red. Did I really just say that?

Gale considered this, his eyes flicking from me to the floor. Then he whispered, "Can we… can we test it out? To figure out what's intense enough?"

I swallowed hard. I was shaking just as badly as he was now. I could do this, right? I could touch Gale as an experiment. I could separate my feelings enough to do this, couldn't I? My hand slowly, painfully slowly, went to his chest. I pressed my palm right into him, right below his heart.

He stared at me and then shook his head. "It's not enough to trigger it."

I dropped my hand and slid both of them around his waist, bringing him into me. I had to strain my neck to keep eye contact with him. He could probably feel the way my heart was beating outside of my chest. He could probably feel the way I was shaking uncontrollably, sweating and breathing hard.

"Tell me Gale," I whispered, "Is this enough?"

His breathing was becoming labored too. I could tell by the way he had to keep taking deep breaths in and out, slowly. He shook his head no.

I leaned in, my breath hot on his neck and my arms now sliding up his back and grabbing to the top of his shoulders. I leaned in even more so I was right next to his ear. "Is this enough now?" He stiffened for a moment but then whispered out. "Not enough, no."

I pulled back, just enough to see his face. And then, without another word, we were both leaning into each other, closing the final gap between our lips. And when I felt his lips pressed against mine, my entire world shifted.

It was like ever since Gale had been captured, I was holding my breath and drowning under water. I would try to stand back up but the waves would always pull me back out to sea, dragging me down deep into the cold, salty waters. It was like I had been under the water for so long that my lungs were ready to explode, to just burst into a million pieces.

But right then, with Gale kissing me, It was like I had finally swam up to shore and taken my first breath of fresh air again. And nothing had ever felt more reviving, more rejuvenating, more renewing in my entire life.

Everything about the kiss was warm. His lips were soft, _so_ soft. Softer than I had remembered. Shivers ran down my spine as he pressed into me even more, his hand coming up to cup and caress my cheek. This was falling in love all over again. This was coming home. This was the sunlight after the darkest storm. This was the flower that was sprouting in the rubble of destruction. This kiss… this kiss was my entire life falling into place again.

It was long and it was slow and it was sweet. When Gale finally did pull his lips away a few minutes later, he was breathless. I didn't know it, but apparently I was crying. Or so that's the impression I got when Gale wiped under my eye with his thumb. I didn't know it would feel that way; to kiss Gale again. It was like I had no idea how badly I even missed him until that moment.

"Did…" I couldn't even get the words out; I was so out of breath. Not to mention, Gale and I were still holding each other. "Did it trigger anything?"

He nodded and dropped his arms then, taking a small step back from me. His eyes went to the floor as he spoke. "I saw a lot of things. I saw you laughing. You laughing and your hair spilling out across your back. A cave… me and you in a cave kissing. I saw me cupping your face between my hands…" His eyes were begging to flood with tears that I knew he would never let fall. He wiped at his face quickly. "Other things too… a little girl covered in flowers…Katniss and I walking and arguing." He looked back up at me then. "The Games… these are flashbacks from the games?"

I nodded, too afraid to try to speak. The lump in my throat was making it very difficult for me to swallow. If I even tried to mutter a single word, I was sure I would break down into sobs again.

Gale licked his lips again, his expression unreadable. "What we had… it must've been pretty special… if something as simple as a kiss can make me remember." Gale whispered, his voice uncharacteristically small and weak.

"What we had was more than special." I found myself saying, although I was still on the verge of crying. "What we had was magical, Gale."

He stared at me then and when he took a step closer to me, I wondered if he was going to kiss me again. He leaned into me and flicked a strand of my hair behind my hair then pulled back and smiled. "Your hair was much longer in those flashes."

Something between a laugh and a cry escaped from my lips. Gale started to laugh too and then, there was a soft knock on the door. My hand went to my chest out of fear but then it opened and it was just Haymitch. He glared at us.

"What the hell is taking so long?" He practically barked at us.

Gale smiled and picked up five of the rolled up mattresses. "We were just leaving." He walked around me then and towards the door. I picked up my three rolls and followed after him. Haymitch eyed us curiously, especially when I gave him a huge smile. I didn't care if he thought I was completely insane. I had made it out of the water. I had made it out alive. I wasn't drowning anymore. No. Instead, I had finally been saved.

* * *

_**A/N: It's short but SHUT UP because you got a kiss so you can't complain :D And enjoy this tiny moment of bliss because lord knows how long it will last ;) sorry, not sorry. ANYWAYS, I made a trailer for the LAST FIVE FINAL CHAPTERS of this fanfiction. You can find that HERE: watch?v=PgFrPM4f8UE&list=UU_CbqDmuiOH_afiN8z9O0Ow&index=1&feature=plcp**_

_***BUT DON'T FORGET TO COMMENT ON THIS CHAPTER. PLEASE. I LOVE to read all your comments, they make my life. And I am DYING to know what you thought about the kiss and the fact that when Gale touches Madge, he starts to remember? (Thank you, LOST, for that idea. Mauahahaha.) HAPPY READING.***_


	13. Chapter 13

Two days. That was all we had left before we fought back. Two days was just 48 hours. It was hard to comprehend, honestly. It was hard to grasp the realization that in just two days, we would end this thing once and for all. It had been nearly half a year since the games. In less than 6 months, I went from the petty mayor's daughter to one of the most wanted people in the entire country of Panem. I had traded in my pretty dresses for baggy pants and shirts that hung off me, because no matter what I did, I couldn't seem to gain back the weight I had lost in the arena. I had swapped in my long, beautiful wavy hair for a short and choppy bob, which was thankfully starting to grow out. The Madge before the games was weak and scared. She had never killed anyone, never watched anyone die. She had never fallen in love and then lost it. She had never felt her heart break. She had never felt the pain of losing her father, of watching people suffer, of almost losing everything.

I couldn't go back to that girl. She was lost and scared and took everything for granted. No. I had to embrace the new me. If we were going to win this thing, if we were going to kill President Snow, I had to be strong and brave and ready to kill.

I stood in the middle of the attic, my hands crossed over my chest and my eyes fixed on the ground in front of me. I was lost in my own thoughts, oblivious to everything going around me. Finnick slammed a box down at my feet and I jumped, completely startled. He smirked.

"Come on, Madge! You can't be so flinch-y. Not at a time like this." He smiled softly and walked away. His leg had healed fully and he seemed to be doing fine. It was nice to see him back on his feet.

"What's in here?" I asked as I opened the top. I didn't need an answer, however. It was some Peace Keeper Uniforms. Our disguises. I pulled them out and separated them on the ground. Katniss and I needed the two small sizes and everyone else took either the mediums or the larges. Even with the small, I had to roll up the pants at the waist to keep them staying up. It was highly irritating. Apparently, sneaking away with big weapons in the Capitol was nearly impossible. Haymitch's friend was only able to get us two Peace Keeper Guns. Now that Finnick's foot was healed, it was decided that he would carry one of the guns, while Haymitch would have the other.

There were other weapons, however. Smaller but just as deadly weapons. We each had a bottle of black spray that would knock out the guards for a good few hours. Also, Haymitch laid out a bunch of little gadgets and told us each to take one. Katniss picked up what appeared to be a small hand gun but when she pulled the trigger, a dagger shot across the room and stuck into the wall. When we walked over and pulled it out, we noticed the dagger left a green residue.

"Poison." Haymitch said, coming up behind us. "You shoot this dagger and the poison will penetrate through their skin and will seep into their bloodstream. They'll be dead in minutes."

Kyler mumbled something about Katniss getting the coolest weapon and I had to suppress my smirk. Leave it to Kyler to bring a joke in the darkest situation.

Haymitch tossed a watch at Peeta. He caught it in his hand and stared at it. "A watch?"

"If you press that button on the left there, it will spray a maze that will kill your victim. Just make sure you don't breathe in any when you spray it. It wouldn't be enough to kill you too but it would probably make you sick."

Peeta nodded and tucked the watch safe into his pocket. Finnick dug through the pile then and handed Kyler a pair of boots. "These are my weapon?" Kyler asked as he examined the boots.

Finnick sighed. "A blade pops out of the bottoms of each boot, making any kick you make deadly. Enjoy."

Kyler gave a little victory dance and said in a sing-song voice, "My weapon is cooler than Katniss's!"

I shook my head. "You're acting like a child, Kyler."

He shrugged. "You know you wouldn't have it any other way." He winked and I had to turn my head so he didn't see me blush.

Luckily, Finnick addressed me next so I had a distraction from Kyler. "Madge you get the…" his voice trailed off as he stared at the pocket knife in his hand. It wasn't an ordinary pocket knife, however. The tip was dipped in poison, like Katniss's gun. One stab and the victim would be gone. "This is the last weapon left and you and Gale both still need one." He said quietly.

Gale and I turned and stared at each other.

"Give it to Gale."

"Give it to Madge."

We both said this at the exact same time. I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms over my chest. "Don't listen to him. Gale needs a weapon."

Gale snorted and took the knife from Finnick's hands. I thought he was agreeing with me and I smiled, feeling victorious. But then, Gale held it out to me. "There is no way, Madge. I need to make sure you're safe in there. Take the knife." He motioned it towards me.

I bit my lip and took a long, deep breath. I knew no matter what I said or did, he would make me have the knife. I yanked it from him bitterly and shoved into the pocket of my peace keeper uniform. I even glared at Gale in response.

He leaned over to me and tucked a strand of my hair out of my face. Then he smiled and walked away. I let out a little laugh and turned my head, just in time to see Kyler's suddenly pale face. I swallowed and looked towards the ground.

Finnick then handed Gale a little pill. Apparently, it would end his life if he took it. That was the plan if anyone us got caught. We would use our weapons to kill ourselves. I felt the knife if my pocket and a shiver went through my spine. I wondered what it would feel like to stab myself, to let the poison on the tip of the knife rip through my body.

Haymitch gathered us all around to talk. We looked so ridiculous in our peace keeper uniforms. The only one not in a uniform was Annie. She was going stay back and using a small ear piece planted in Finnick's ear, she would communicate with us if anything came up that we needed to know about. She would be on the lookout from the attic. Just then, Haymitch told us what he knew.

"I have gotten word that the Capitol believes the districts are settling back down. This is great news for us because when they rebel the day after tomorrow, the Capitol will be completely caught off guard. The search for us has not let up. They are checking outlining countries and the reward for our capture would make even a rich man faint. Now, we need to work on our hand to hand combat because who knows what we will encounter in there. Everyone pair off."

Gale grabbed my arm before I could even blink. I yanked his arm and tried to flip him onto his back but he was so much stronger than me, of course. He smiled as I tried to kick him, dodging my kick with ease. I sighed. "You know, I really wish you'd take the knife. I can have the pill." I said.

Gale laughed and blocked my punch to his gut with his hand. "No way."

I groaned. I tried to grab his waist and pin him to the ground but he easily pushed me away. I needed a new partner. One who didn't weigh twice as much as I did. "You need the protection, Gale. This is the President's Mansion, where you were brainwashed at. Who knows what being there will do to you, what it will trigger."

He rolled his eyes. "I can protect myself, Madge. I am eighteen years old."

"And_ I_ can protect _myself_." I retorted, before I tried to knock the wind out of Gale by punching him in the gut. Of course, he caught my hand and twisted it lightly, his eyes finding mine.

"Sure you can." He said softly, a playful smile on his lips.

He was making me angry. I yanked my arm away and stormed off. I needed to practice with someone else. Peeta spotted me and called me over. I sighed. Peeta was just as strong as Gale. This was going to make no difference. Nevertheless, I headed over to his side. He held his hands out and said, "Ready to practice?"

"No. I'm weak." I said sharply.

He shrugged. "None of us are exactly on the top of our game, Madge. It's been a long time since we trained. Just do the best you can. I'll go easy on you at first."

And so Peeta helped me with my hand to hand combat. He did go easier on me than Gale had at first. And it helped. I was actually able to practice and got some good tips from Peeta. He said one the biggest keys was reading people's body language.

"If you can figure out their next move before they make it, you'll be at an advantage. And you seem to pretty good at reading people, like me."

"Oh," I said with a nod of my head. "I am great at reading people. Except for Gale. And your brother, for that matter."

Peeta laughed. "What's there to read about either of them? They both are in love with you."

I opened my mouth to protest but just then, someone came up behind me and pinned me to the ground. I screamed and was immediately shushed by the entire attic. I narrowed my eyes up at Kyler, who had been the one to pin me.

"Madge, keep it down! The whole country is going to hear us!" He smirked from above me. I was pinned down on my back and Kyler had a hand on my waist, keeping me in place. "Also, you clearly need more practice."

"You caught me off guard." I said with an edge to my voice. If one more person pointed how incredibly weak I was, I was going to rip their head off.

He smiled and moved his arm off of me. I sat up. "I can't do this, Kyler." I admitted. "Everybody is going to be stronger than me."

"Madge, strength is not just all physical." He said simply. He shrugged and stood to his feet. He held out his hand to help me up and I took it, appreciating the feeling of his warm hand against my own. "And if you go into this thing thinking you're weak, then you will be weak. It's a mind of matter type of thing."

I sure hoped that was true. When I was in the arena, I had my sling shot at least. That made me feel strong when I was certain I was weak. But here, running through the President's Mansion with nothing but a knife? I was surely going to be the smallest, the least prepared, the easiest target. I took a deep breath. The old Madge was weak and lost and scared. And I was beginning to realize that so was this new Madge. Maybe I would always be weak. Maybe I was destined for that. Maybe some people were born for bravery, like Katniss and Gale and the others. Maybe some people were born to start revolutions and change the world. Maybe some people had strength pumping through their veins.

And maybe, just maybe… I wasn't one of those people.

* * *

I had the small lantern next to me as I spread out the giant map of the President's Mansion that Haymitch and Finnick had worked on. The attic was a little warm, even this late at night. I slipped my sweatshirt off my shoulders and studied the map. Grabbing a pen, I begin to make markings all over it; potential hallways we could sneak into, small closets we could hide into if needed, rooms that had two doors so we could split up and come from both sides. I sighed and swore to myself as I scribbled out something.

I felt a warm hand fall onto my shoulder and I turned to see Peeta, squinting at the bright lantern I had next to me. I turned back to my work on the map without even as much as a hello.

"Katniss," Peeta began softly, his voice thick and hoarse with sleep. "It's three in the morning. Go to bed. We have a whole day to plan tomorrow."

I shook my head and put an X on the map by a door we could use. "That's not enough time."

I heard him sigh and his hand went to my lower back, settling there and making my heart race. "Yes. It is. Please, let's go to bed."

"No." I snapped, turning my head and glaring at him. His hand stayed on my back and his free hand grabbed my shoulder again, spinning me around to face him completely.

"What's wrong, Katniss?" He asked me, his eyes searching my own.

I knew there was no point in trying to hide it. I couldn't hide anything from Peeta. He was my best friend. He knew me better than anyone. He knew me like the back of his hand. I threw my hands up in the air in defeat. "I'm scared, okay? I'm scared our plan won't work. I'm scared we will get captured, I'm scared of all the people who will die in the districts, I'm scared of letting everyone down. I am just… I'm scared, Peeta." I finished, with tears threatening to fill my eyes.

Peeta pulled my close and I fell into him, closing my eyes against his chest. He ran a hand through my hair and whispered in my ear. "We are going to be fine, Katniss."

I pulled away from his hug and shook my head softly. "You don't know that."

He sighed. "No, I don't. But we have more will to fight than everyone in the Capitol combined… and you know what else? We have heart. It's our secret weapon." He smirked.

I had to smile at this. With a sigh, I folded up the map and agreed to go to bed. We would all need our sleep anyways. Wordlessly, Peeta pushed our thin mattresses together and I was glad he did. He curled up against me, my back to his stomach. His arms wrapped around my waist and I savored this small moment of intimacy between us. And right then, with Peeta next to me, I realized what I was scared of, above everything else. I was scared of losing Peeta. I was scared of him getting captured and not me. I was scared of having to watch him die on TV. I was scared of never getting the chance to be next to him ever again, I was scared of never hearing him laugh again. Never feeling his touch. I rolled around so I was facing him. Reaching out, I cupped his face and his eyes fluttered open.

"Don't leave." I said simply, hoping he understood the meaning of my words. _Don't die, Peeta. Don't leave me in there… don't you dare._

He smiled softly, one of his hands coming up to cover my own on his cheek. "I'll _never_ leave you."

And we fell asleep like that. Facing each other. And facing our fears.

When we awoke, cans were being passed around. Breakfast. I took the can of mixed fruit and opened it quickly with a knife. I ate it within minutes. I had been used to not getting enough food, ever since the arena. I hadn't realized how spoiled I was in District Four, where I could eat whenever I wanted to. Here, hiding out in an attic in the Capitol, we barely got two meals a day, and those meals were sparse.

After we ate, Haymitch pulled out the map I had been looking at the night before. He laid it out and then eyed me curiously when he saw all the notes I had added to it. After a long moment, he just sighed. Then he started pointing out different hallways that we were going to have to take in order to avoid certain traps and guards.

"You see this hallway here?" He pointed out a hall on the map. "This leads directly to the President's Bedroom. It is surely a death trap; I can assure you of that much. You go down this hall and you will be killed. It is labeled Hallway P. Instead, we need to take back hallways, secret doors, rooms that are hardly touched anymore."

As Haymitch went on and on, explaining which parts of the mansion to stay clear of and which parts were safe, the fear that had crippled me the night before began to return. Not even fear for myself. But for those around me. For these people I had grown close to. These people I had learned to love.

My eyes first found Haymitch, leaning over the map as he spoke. He was a drunk, miserable man. He had a short fuse and a lifeless look in his eyes. But he had a heart beneath his rough exterior. And that heart was driven by years of pain that I couldn't even begin to fathom. For all the lives lost that I counted on my fingertips, he counted a hundred more. Losing him would be a kick to my chest, losing him would knock the wind out of me. Losing him would be heart-breaking and painful.

Finnick stood beside him and when my eyes settled on his, he winked at me. I wanted to laugh right then and there. Still the same arrogant flirt he was the day I met him. But now I could see how much he didn't mean it. The way his arm was draped over Annie's shoulder in such a gentle and careful way showed me that. I smiled at him and then swallowed back the lump forming in my throat. Oh, Finnick. We had gotten off to quite the rough start. But I couldn't have asked for a better mentor, a better friend. Thinking about the possibility of losing him made me quickly avert my eyes to the floor. No. I couldn't do it.

A movement from Gale across the room caught my eye. He was crossing his arms over his chest as he watched Haymitch intently. We were really quite similar, like Madge and Peeta had told us in the games. Gale had a lot of fire, something I had been told accompanied me as well. But behind the fire, he had a lot of passion. So, yeah. We were a lot alike. And if we had grown up in the same district, he could've very well had been my best friend instead of Peeta. But even if Gale and I weren't best friends, we did have something that resembled a friendship. And I didn't want to lose that. I didn't want to lose him.

And of course, at the thought of Gale, I thought of Madge. I turned and saw her, standing there, her lips pressed into a thin line. Madge. The only girl I had ever formed a relationship with. The only girl I trusted. The only girl I could turn to if I were in trouble. She was kind and bold and always looking for the silver lining. She had watched over Peeta when he was too upset to even look at me. And for that, I owed her everything. But I knew Madge well enough to know that she didn't keep a tally of all the favors she gave out. She gave but never expected in return. And I loved her. I loved her a lot.

Next to Madge was Kyler. Even while everyone was watching Haymitch, he was watching Madge. He really did love her. And he deserved love. After all, he did grow up in the same house as Peeta. And he had the same selflessness that Peeta had, but with a humor that always had me rolling my eyes. Kyler was a good guy, a solid guy. A guy who didn't deserve to die.

I could feel Peeta beside me. I could feel his warmth even without him touching me. I could sense him in every possible way. But I couldn't think of him. I couldn't think about losing him. I had done enough of that in the last few days to last a lifetime. Because there was no life after losing Peeta. There was nothing but darkness. Blinding, icy darkness that suffocated me and pulled me under.

After that, we all worked on our combat together. We trained our bodies to avert kicks and punches, to dodge bullet and trick our opponents. We worked on walking as quietly as possible, on ways to break through security codes and ways to avert our opponent's attention for just a moment, just long enough to get them to look elsewhere. Because all we needed to kill them was a few seconds. Just a few seconds to get the job done.

We did all we could that day. And we knew it probably wasn't enough. These were Peace Keepers we were trying to fight off. These were Capitol trained bodyguards. But we had to go down with a fight, right? We had to give everything we had, no matter what the outcome. We had to try.

And if we failed miserably, at least we died trying. At least we fought like hell for something we believed in.

* * *

A quiet, eerie silence fell over us as we ate dinner that night. The food wasn't much, obviously. Just some packaged stuff that Capitol citizens hid in their pantries in case of emergencies. It wasn't even good. But it was still very well our last supper together. And nobody was daring to speak. Not even Kyler.

After we ate, the somber tone lifted a little as we all started talking again and laughing. Someone tapped on my left shoulder and I turned around to find nobody. And then, I saw Gale near the right of me out of the corner of my eye. He laughed and I smacked his arm playfully.

"Jerk." I mumbled but even I couldn't hide my smile.

He shrugged. "It was too easy." He laughed and it sounded so completely whole-hearted and real then I started to laugh too. Because these were the types of moments that I missed so very much with Gale. These light, simple moments that grabbed your heart and tugged on it, that filled the spaces between you with warmth and peace.

I turned around and was still laughing when I practically ran straight into Kyler. He was eyeing me curiously but didn't say much. He just gave me a sad smile before walking off. I sighed and crossed my arms over my chest. It didn't matter what I did, did it? I would always be hurting one of them. There was no middle ground, there was no compromise. And I cared about them both dearly. How could I purposely make one of them miserable? I shook my head. Maybe, for just a little longer, I could ignore the problem. Just a few more hours of peace.

It wasn't even an hour later when Gale approached me. I had been studying the map of the mansion when I felt him hovering over me. I folded it neatly and stood up, brushing my hands on my pants. "What's up?"

He swallowed and stared at the ground for a long moment, not saying anything. Finally, he looked up and met my gaze. With a sigh, he pulled something out of his pocket and held it out to me. I nearly gasped when I saw the familiar metal, the beautiful, intricate bird. I saw the way it caught the light and sparkled.

My Mockingjay Pin.

"Gale," I began, "I gave this to _you_."

He gave me a weak smile and motioned it towards me once again. "Yeah. But it's yours. And I want you to have it."

I swallowed hard. When I gave Gale this pin, it was because I thought he was going to die. Did Gale think I was going to die tomorrow? Or did he think _he_ was going to die tomorrow? I looked up and shook my head softly. "No." I said simply, quickly. "I don't want it back. It was a gift."

"It will make you brave." He whispered and then grabbed my hand. He opened it and pressed the pin into my palm, before closing my fingers around it. Then he lifted my hand up and brought it to his lips, brushing them against my skin ever so softly.

I felt my own lip begin to quiver. _It will make you brave._ The same words my mother told me when she gave it to me. The same words I told Gale when I gave it to him in the arena. And now, Gale was saying them to me. And it hit me in that moment, something that I hadn't taken the time to realize before. Having the pin didn't give you some magical power, having the pin didn't shield you or protect you or keep you out of danger. No.

The Mockingjay pin didn't make me brave.

I did.

"No." I said as I shoved the pin back into his hand before he could protest. "It's yours now. I don't need that pin to be brave. And if everything goes wrong tomorrow, if we don't make it out alive, I'll know that it's safe with you." I blinked back my tears and gave him a small smile.

Gale stared at the pin in his hand, his thumb brushing over the smooth metal over and over again. Finally, he put it back into his pocket. And then, without warning, he pulled me into him, wrapping his arms around my waist. My head buried deep into his chest and I sank into the perfect feeling it gave me, letting it overwhelm and comfort me. We pulled away a few moments later and my body felt cold without the contact.

I wondered if he was going to kiss me again. But he didn't. He just brushed my hair out of my forehead and said, "I wish we had more time. Before tomorrow. I wish…" He trailed off, letting his words hang thick in the air. He shook his head and pulled his hand back. "I just wish I would've remembered sooner."

I nodded. "Me too."

And I knew he wanted to say more. There was always more to say. There always would be when it came to the two of us. And I could stand there and say more with Gale for hours, days, weeks. But it was getting late and we needed our sleep. So we walked away from each other then, all the words we wish we had time to say floating through the air and landing on the ground. Maybe we would have time after tomorrow to say them.

Or maybe not.

I swallowed and laid down on my thin mattress. I was sure sleep wouldn't come. There was too much to think about. Too many goodbyes to say in case our plan failed, too many dreams and hopes and aspirations for the future that I had to let go of. But after a few minutes, my eyelids felt heavy and I drifted off to sleep, dreaming of a better world and knowing it was right at my fingertips.

I awoke sometime a few hours later. The darkness in the room overwhelmed me and I almost forgot where I even was. I sat up slowly. Blinking, I made out a tiny light against the wall on the other side of the room. Next to it, there was a figure. Even in the dark, I could tell it was Kyler. My feet propelled me to stand up and walk over towards him. He didn't even look up when I slid against the wall and joined him on the floor.

"Can't sleep?" I asked softly.

Kyler shook his head, pulling his knees up and resting his hands on them. He let out a sigh and leaned his head against the wall, closing his eyes. He was quiet for a long time. I almost thought he had fallen asleep. But then, he spoke. His voice was more intense than I was used to.

"Madge, did something happen with you and Gale? You two have been acting very strange."

I swallowed. Of course Kyler had noticed. I had seen that with my own eyes. However, I had been trying to avoid this. I had been trying to avoid the moment where I would have to confront Kyler, where my feelings would be laid out in front of me and I would be forced to pick them apart, explain them, give them life. I didn't want to do this. I didn't want to have this conversation.

"He… he started to remember." I said simply, bringing my own knees up to my chest. I pressed my chin into my knees and held my breath.

Kyler tensed from besides me. "So… that's it then?" He asked in a sharp, cutting voice. "You're with him now?"

I turned so I was facing him, my hand finding his knee. He shook it off immediately. "No. I'm not _with_ him." I said.

"But you're going to be, right? You're choosing him." Kyler shot back.

I covered my face with my hands and breathed into my palms. This was why I wanted to avoid this conversation. I moved my hands to my hair and then spoke as calmly as possible. "Kyler, you're jumping to conclusions. And do you really think now is the time to discuss this?"

He nodded and his eyes locked with mine, this I could see even in the dim light. "Madge, we could all die tomorrow. There is no more time. We've ran out of time. And you know what? I'm sick of waiting. I have given you space when you asked for space, I have been as understanding as humanly possible when it's come to Gale and I get it, Madge. I get that you loved him and that he is this huge part of your life but…" Kyler took a moment to breathe in and then out again. "…but I need to know what you feel. I need to know because after tonight, we might not have another chance. Tell me what you feel. Please." He begged.

Looking into Kyler's blue eyes, in the middle of the night, in some abandoned warehouse in the middle of the Capitol, I struggled to find the words to explain what he meant to me. How I wouldn't have survived everything that happened after the games without him. How his smile could bring light into my darkest day, how his jokes kept me laughing when all I wanted to do was cry, how he held me up when I was falling down, how he cared for me and watched over me and listened to me, how deep down inside of me, I knew I had feelings for him. And being that close to him in the dark of night, it was hard. Because a part of me was telling me to back away while another part of me was telling me to move _closer, closer, closer._

"Kyler," I began breathless.

His hand came up and cupped my cheek and I struggled to get air back into my lungs. His thumb traced my cheekbone and I closed my eyes in response. His touch was gentle and soft and made me feel like I was dreaming. When I opened my eyes, he was leaning closer to me, his mouth now only inches from my own. No. I didn't have enough self-control to be this close to him.

"Am I wasting my time, Madge? Should I move on?" He whispered his breath warm on my lips. It tickled them in all the right ways.

I wanted to respond but I was too afraid of what would slip out of my mouth. Would it be a yes? Would it be a no? Did I even know if it was a yes or no? Of course I didn't. And having Kyler this close to me was clouding my judgment to say the very least. But I didn't want him to back away. That felt like the last thing I wanted.

Why did either of them want me? I was impossible.

Kyler's eyes stayed glued to mine when he said softly, "I'm going to try to kiss you now. If you don't want me to, now's your chance to say so. Slap me. Back away. Walk off. I don't care how you say no, just say it because otherwise…" He trailed off and waited a moment. He waited for me to tell him not to kiss me.

But I couldn't. And I hated myself for it. I was leading him on, wasn't I? I had Gale. I loved Gale. But… Kyler. Oh, sweet and loving Kyler... He was leaning into me then, painstakingly slowly. It like a part of him expected me to tell him no. He didn't trust my feelings for him and rightfully so. How could he? I had given him a thousand reasons to run away, to give up on me.

But he hadn't. And just like I hated myself for not turning away, I hated him even more for falling in love with me.

And when his lips touched mine, I didn't have time to think anymore. I only had time to register the feeling. It was soft, yes. It was very soft but it was intense as well. The way he was holding onto my cheek, the way his free hand found my waist, the way my body moved closer to his, it was all heavy and powerful and deeper than I ever thought kissing Kyler would be like. Desire filled me as he deepened our kiss, his tongue slipping into my mouth.

Something resembling a breathy moan escaped from my lips and then I was straddling him, trying to get as close to him as possible but nothing felt close enough. His fingers tangled themself up in my hair and mine ran up and down his neck, finally settling on his shoulders. We kissed and kissed and kissed until we needed to come up for air. Breathing heavily, we pulled apart and our foreheads pressed together.

"Wow." Kyler said softly as he tried to breathe again.

I nodded and repeated him. "Wow."

His hands were now on my waist and after we both caught our breath, he pulled his head away just far enough so that he could find my eyes. "That was a thousand times better than I imagined it would be."

I smirked. "Glad you had high expectations for kissing me." I said sarcastically. I noticed I was still straddling his waist but neither of us seemed to mind.

He smiled back. "No. They were very high. But that kiss was… definitely even higher."

It wasn't until right then, right then with him smiling at me and telling me how amazing my kiss was, that the guilt set it. What did I just do? Kyler could only assume this meant I was choosing him, that by not pulling away from the kiss, I was declaring my love for him. But no. It had been more selfish than that. I let him kiss me because I wanted to. Because I was selfish and clearly not concerned with who I would hurt in the end.

And what did all of this mean for me and Gale?

I sighed and awkwardly turned, falling off Kyler's lap and adjusting myself so I was sitting beside him again. I swallowed and could feel him watching me intently. I didn't dare glance up.

"Madge, don't worry. I don't think this means we are getting married." He said softly.

"But it's still not fair. To you or to Gale. To anyone really." I said back.

Kyler leaned in and kissed my lips softly then. Just once. Then he pulled back and said, "Even if nothing changes, even if you choose Gale, even if we die tomorrow, at least I had this one moment with you. At least I got to kiss my dream girl."

I blushed and fought back a big smile, without success. "I am your dream girl?"

He nodded. "Oh, yes. Snarky, bratty, pretentious…" He trailed off. I slapped his chest playfully and he let out a laugh. He held up his hands. "I was only kidding! But in all seriousness, you are above and beyond any girl I could dream up. Nobody has ever understood me the way you do, Madge. You are completely gorgeous, witty and confident, hilarious and determined… but the thing is you don't even realize you are any of those things." He said softly.

I leaned in and hugged him then. Because I was scared of kissing him again. Because I wanted to feel him close to me. Because he was Kyler and I was Madge and I had run out of explanations for why we did anything that we did. His hands wrapped around my lower back and I let my head fall onto his shoulder. I closed my eyes and let myself feel everything for just one moment. For just one tiny moment there was nobody else or nothing else. There was just Me. And there was just Kyler. And it felt good. It felt good to feel without guilt and without worry. It felt good to just be a sixteen year old girl who had fallen for a blonde haired boy with blue eyes.

And even thought I was a horrible person, I was a horrible person in the arms of a not so horrible person. And for one night, that was enough.

* * *

_**A/N: LOL Merry Christmas? THEY HAD TO KISS EVENTUALY RIGHT? And you know there is a part of you that wanted them to! Because that was a pretty FREAKING HOT kiss! Anyways, stay tuned for the next few chapters because they will be a little crazy! (Ahem, A LOT crazy)**_

_**TELL ME ALL YOUR FEELINGS, EVEN IF YOU HATE ME. JUST TELL ME ANYWAYS. I need your feedback, homies!**_

_**REVIEW AWAY and have a great Christmas and NEW YEAR!**_

_**XOXO,**_

_**CHELSEA**_


	14. Chapter 14

Morning came quickly. Far too quickly. There was this weird silence that loomed over all of us as we geared up, as we zipped up our uniforms and laced our boots. Nobody said much. Nobody cracked a joke or tried to make this less horrible than it was. We didn't have any more time. This was it. This was the moment we had been preparing for.

My hand-gun that triggered a dart of poison was tucked into the back of my pants. My fingers wrapped around the spray of mace that we would all use to attack the guards at the President's Mansion. This was all happening. This was all real. There was no more turning back. There was no more second guessing.

The President of Panem would die that day. And we would be the ones to kill him.

I wouldn't accept any other possibility in that moment. The time for fear had come and passed. The only emotion we all had room to feel anymore was bravery. Even if we had to fake it.

I felt Peeta zip up his jacket from beside me. "What time is it?"

I pressed my lips into a thin line and breathed out of my nose, exhaling fear, inhaling bravery. After, I said, "It's almost one."

He nodded and wordlessly, he grabbed my hand. I had never been more thankful for the warmth of his hand in my own.

Madge and Gale walked over to where we stood and for a moment, we all just sort of stared at each other. It was sort of funny, in a way. How six months ago, we were all trying to kill each other. How six months ago, we would've never imagined we would be standing in the Capitol, all alive, all fighting for Panem.

But life does that to you. It crashes over you and drags you out to places you could never imagine going on your own.

Madge was the first to speak. "We made it." She said quietly.

Gale sighed. "Not yet."

She shrugged. "I know, I know. The hard part hasn't happened yet but… if we go through with this, if we succeed, then we've made it." She repeated with a soft smile.

"We can do it. I hope. We deserve it. After everything we've been through." Gale mumbled.

"My father," Madge said in a shaky voice. "Used to tell me that for every terrible thing that happens to us, something beautiful grows out of the rubble of that terrible thing. This is _our_ beautiful thing." She met each of our eyes for a second then.

Peeta nodded in agreement and I felt him give my hand a squeeze. "Madge is right. And I'll never regret volunteering at the reaping. No matter what happened these past six months, no matter what will happen today, I wouldn't change any of it. Because it brought us all to this moment. And we are about to do this. We are about to end this once and for all. It really is beautiful."

We all managed a smile. And they were right. And above that, we were a team. Despite who the four of us were before the arena, we were now a unit, forever tied together by an unbreakable bond, a concrete foundation. We were strong, we were brave, we were the rebels.

Haymitch, Finnick (with Annie attached to his side), and Kyler made their way over to us. Haymitch went over the plan one more time. The plan to travel to the back garden of the President's mansion, the plan to spray the guards with mace and break inside. The plan to travel down specific hallways and to make sure, _make bloody_ _sure_ to avoid hallway P. The plan to kill the president. The plan to make Panem a better place. A place where children don't have to kill one another and a place where districts don't have to be bombed and a place where hope doesn't go stale.

Haymitch looked towards the wall where the clock was and announced to the group, "Alright. It's officially one. The districts have begun to rebel. All that's left to do now is wait."

Finnick, letting go of Annie's hand for just one moment, walked over to where I was standing, a smirk on his face. I stepped closer to him and folded my arms across my chest. "Hello, Finnick."

"Hello, beautiful." He said. I almost laughed at my old nickname. I probably would have if the entire situation wasn't so terrifying and horrible. Instead, I felt my heart aching at the idea of possibly losing Finnick. We all knew the chances of us all making it out alive weren't exactly too great. And we all knew that those words we exchanged in those moments might possibly be our last words to each other. Ever.

"You know, you'll always be my favorite tribute." He said slyly.

I narrowed my eyes at him. "Because of my sunny personality?" I deadpanned.

He laughed then. A whole-hearted laugh. "Besides that," He said, "And besides the fact that making you squirm was endlessly entertaining." His smirk fell and he lowered his voice. "But mostly, you were my favorite because I have never met anyone like you, Katniss Everdeen. You are braver than most but beneath your bravery is an unmistakable heart and that heart compels you more often than you think it does."

And then, I swore I heard his voice began to tremble.

"You have it in you, you know. To be a leader. To be a hero. You always have." He stared at me, his face soft and sincere.

I had to swallow away the lump forming in my throat. "Thank you, Finnick. And you have to know, if it wasn't for you, I wouldn't be here right now. So thank you for… thank you for saving my life."

He smiled and ruffled my hair. "It wasn't a hard choice to make."

And then I hugged him, pulling him close to me and wanting, more than anything, to never let him go. Because if I did, there was a possibility he could slip away from me.

After we finally did pull apart, it was Madge who walked up to me next. She wasn't saying much and I could tell by the way her jaw was clenched that she was trying so hard not to break down. I wanted to tell her that she wasn't alone, that I wanted to fall apart too, but I didn't. Instead I gave her a small smile and said, "Ready to kick some President ass?" just to lighten the intensity of the matter.

She laughed then and although it was more of a crying laugh, it was still better than nothing. She wiped at her face quickly and then met my gaze. "I guess I have to be ready. You know, Katniss, I've never really… I've never really had a lot of friends back home. And after the games and everything we went through, I realized you were that to me. You were a friend. A good, worthy friend." She had to pause so she wouldn't start crying again. Once she composed herself, she said, "I love you, Katniss. And I am so grateful that I've met you." She laughed again and I watched as a tear slipped down her cheek.

I had so much I wanted to say back. I wanted to tell her that I loved her too. I wanted to tell her that I had never been very good at making friends outside of Peeta and I was especially bad at being friends with girls but somehow, with Madge, it felt easy. It felt right. I wanted to tell her that I looked up to her. That she was composed and brave and resilient. She had lost everything and yet, she bounced back. I wanted to tell her that no matter what happened, I would never forget her or the impact she had made on my life.

But I couldn't say any of those things. Because If I opened my mouth, I was going to start sobbing. So I pulled her close to me and I squeezed her tight and I didn't let go for a very, very long time. And standing there with her in that moment, I could only think one thought over and over again.

_Don't die. Don't die. Don't die._

_Please, Madge, don't die._

We pulled away and quickly turned away from each other. We both didn't want the other to see the tears.

I was just composing myself when I heard Haymitch announce that we had to get ready to leave. We were going to take the stairs down to the main level of the warehouse and wait by the backdoor. Everyone started moving at once and… no. No! I glanced around, suddenly in a frantic. I hadn't said goodbye to everyone yet! I needed more time. I had to get more time.

But there was no more time. And Peeta's hand was on the small of my back and he was leading me towards the stairwell and…

_Peeta. What if this was the last time I ever get to see Peeta?_

The fear of it had me yanking his arm and pulling him towards me. He narrowed his eyes in confusion. "Why are you stopping us? We have to go, we have to follow everyone down the-"

"Shut up." I blurted out. The others walked past us and headed towards the stairs. We were suddenly alone. And we didn't have much time. And I had never said all the things I wanted to say and… what did I even want to say? What could I say? How could I prepare myself for a goodbye with Peeta?

He sighed and waited for me to continue. And I licked my lips and opened my mouth and I just let words fall out of my mouth. Because this could be it. This could be the end. "Peeta, you are…"_ What was he? What could I say to him? Think, Katniss. Think!_

Peeta smiled softly. Just because he was Peeta and he was always smiling. Just because he was talking to me. Because he loved me. And I could lose this boy. He could be dead in under an hour… under half an hour. He grabbed my hand and said, "We_ really_ need to go, Katniss."

When I met Peeta, I thought I had forever with him. When we became best friends, I thought every day would pass and he would have another day and another day after that. And we did for a little while. But after the games, I realized something. No day is promised. Forever always gets cut short and ends abruptly. And standing there with my best friend in the entire world, I knew for certain that tomorrow wasn't guaranteed. And our forever could end.

And he could die or I could die and just like that, our friendship would be over. And so, I had to say it. I had to say whatever the hell I felt. And I couldn't analyze it or second guess it or think too hard about it. I just had to say it and feel it and let that be enough.

So I did.

"I love you." I said.

There it was. I had imagined it falling out in a heap of other words. I had imagined I would accompany those words with some big, fancy speech but I wasn't very good with speeches or words in general and why make it so complicated? It wasn't complicated. I loved him. I loved him, dammit. And that was enough.

And wordlessly, he hooked his arm around my waist and swept me into him. And with his eyes locked on mine and his lips close to mine, he whispered, "It's about time, don't you think?" And I rolled my eyes and then his lips were crashing, colliding, smashing into mine and we were kissing and it was passionate and beautiful and all kinds of lovely and with every second our kiss lingered, my love for him grew even stronger.

We pulled away a few minutes later, breathless and panting. And there were tears in both of our eyes and I was wiping his away and he was opening his mouth to say something, but I put my finger to his lips and I pointed to the stairs.

Because we really had to go.

And he nodded softly, understanding. We locked our fingers together and headed down the stairs, leaving that dusty attic forever and entering whatever brief future we had together.

Always together.

When we reached the back door, everyone was lining up and getting ready to go. Haymitch didn't even yell at me for being late. I looked at him and he nodded his head, saying all the words we didn't have time to say.

We could hear it. We could hear the chaos outside. We could hear the peacekeepers marching down the streets and headed towards hovercrafts to enter into the districts that had rebelled less than half an hour ago, that had rebelled so we could have a chance to fight for the freedom we all desired.

"Two minutes." Haymitch whispered.

Peeta gripped my hand even tighter.

I had survived a lot in the past six months. And I looked around the room with all these people who had become my family, I could only hope and hope and then hope some more that we could survive this obstacle as well.

Even if the odds weren't exactly in our favor.

Because we all knew they weren't.

* * *

Haymitch had called two minutes. And I was staring at Gale wondering what I could possibly say in two minutes, wondering how I could possibly say goodbye to him. I caught Kyler standing by Finnick out of the corner of my eye and I sighed. We both knew whatever happened between us last night would have to serve as our goodbye. There was no time for anything else.

He did catch my eye though. Just for a moment. Just long enough to smile warmly and give me a reassuring thumbs up. I gave him one back, despite the way my hand was shaking. My entire body was shaking. I was scared to death. I had to be. We all had to be.

But hidden beneath the fear, hidden beneath the fear in all of us was this fiery determination to have justice served, to fight for what we believed in. And that determination would drive us through the fear, would lead us across the garden and into the mansion. That determination would have to find a way to be enough to keep us all alive.

"One minute." Haymitch said.

Crap. There was no more time. There was no more time to say goodbye.

Gale was staring at me then. And every second I let pass was one more second we didn't have. So I grabbed his arm and pulled him aside and away from everyone else. And before he could even ask what the hell I was doing, I leaned into him and I cupped his face in my hands and I kissed him with all my might. I kissed him long and hard and good. I kissed him and I refused to pull away until I couldn't breathe.

And even after I pulled away, I didn't let him talk. I immediately started speaking. I spoke without thinking, I spoke without restraints, and I spoke without worrying too much about the aftermath. Because the honest truth was that we might not have an aftermath. We might not have any more time or anymore kisses and if I had to say goodbye to Gale for forever, this was what I wanted him to know.

"I love you, Gale. And I know you already know that but I need you to hear it again. I love you so much. I love you more today than I did six months ago when you kissed me goodbye in the arena. I love you and I don't know if I will ever _not_ love you and that's okay because I am content with loving you forever and I just… I just love you, Gale Hawthorne. To whichever amount of love I'm capable of, to the best of my selfish ability, I love you. I don't know what today holds so I just… I needed to tell you that one last time. I love you."

And he was staring at me, unmoving, not even breathing. And he was staring and staring and my hands were still on his face and in the distance, I heard Haymitch say that it was time to go but he sounded a million miles away. And Gale was still staring at me and I was still holding his face. And then, he blinked and we broke apart. We were forced to turn away from each other and run back over to the group and there was this huge part of me that hated it. There was this huge part of me that was so angry because I didn't have time to hear Gale's response but then I realized that that wasn't the point.

The point was letting him know I loved him and that I would always love him.

We were bringing our helmets down and over our faces and then the back door opened and we stepping outside.

There were people running down the streets, screaming. There were peacekeepers everywhere in every which way direction. There were children sobbing and people lost in the chaos of the crowded streets. Haymitch lead us and we marched across the street like we owned the place. Nobody even looked twice at us. Everybody was too preoccupied with their own lives and their own fears.

As we watched the way the Peacekeepers walk, with confidence in every step, we changed the way we were walking to match them. As we carried on down the road, a pair of three peacekeepers stopped right in front of us, staring at us. One of them spoke from under their helmet.

"Where the hell are you going? Direct orders to head towards the hovercrafts!" He barked.

Haymitch stepped forward and for a long, horrible second, I was worried he would be recognized. But then I remembered that the masks were tinted so you could see out of them but not_ in_ them.

"Not for us. We were told to head towards the north side of the Capitol. Apparently, a riot of some kind has broken out." Haymitch said gruffly from under his mask. It didn't even sound like him.

The peacekeeper scanned us all standing there and his eyes fell on me. I began to shake nervously and I looked down quickly, which was a mistake. I was appearing nervous and fidgety, not exactly the qualities of a peacekeeper.

"Take off your mask." He said to me.

My heart stopped.

Haymitch stepped forward. "We don't have time for this. We are on special orders to-"

The peacekeeper ignored him and also took a step forward, but towards me. "I said, take off your mask!" He shouted.

I couldn't breathe. I couldn't move. I was frozen, petrified with fear. I didn't dare look at any of else. I kept my head forward, although every instinct I had told me to put it back down. I couldn't see his eyes through his mask and he couldn't see mine. I had to get out of this. Nobody could do it for me. Not Haymitch, not Gale, nobody but me.

Like I had told Gale, the MockingJay pin didn't make me brave. I made myself brave. Now was my chance to prove it. Now was my chance to be stong.

I stepped forward as well, inches apart from this man. I thought of everything in that stupid place that made me angry. I thought about my father's death, about the way he was ruthlessly shot to death, I thought about Rue's death, I thought about Gale's capture, I thought about when Rory was almost killed, I thought about Peeta's and Kyler's parents and brother, I thought about all the horrible, disgusting things we had to witness. And as the anger pumped through my blood, I had just enough adrenaline, just enough courage to do this.

"_You_" I said, my voice lowered and filled with bitter repulsion, "do _not_ have the authority to ask me to do that. We are on a time sensitive order here as I assume you are. Get the _hell_ out of way before we make you!" I hurled my words at him as if he was the President himself, as if this peacekeeper has caused all this harm.

The peacekeeper didn't move for a moment. And I was scared he was going to shoot me or strangle me or attack me. I was scared my words hadn't been enough. But, he slowly backed away from me and back to where the two others stood. He then said, more quietly, "Come on boys, we gotta go."

And then they walked away, their heads turning every few seconds to just stare at us, completely and totally confused.

Once they were out of sight, I finally breathed. Everyone stared at me, but they didn't say anything for risk of those around us hearing. Instead, they just nodded their heads at me and then we marched off again, on our way to the capitol, on our way to kill the President.

We marched for about a half hour or so. I was able to block out all the chaos of the streets and focus on nothing but my steps forward. Right, left, right, left, head up straight. We marched in a group. Gale was in front of me and Kyler was behind me. I found this to be rather ironic and I almost smiled. But then I remembered where I was and what I was doing and the almost smile fell away.

We turned a corner and suddenly, the street changed. It wasn't crowded. In fact, it was completely and utterly deserted. The air was so quiet, it took me by surprise. We were on the road to the President's mansion. I just knew it.

And as we walked even further down the road, it came into view. And just like the pictures, it was _massive._

Stone walls, beautiful green trees surrounding it, balconies accompanying the top windows, it was more of a castle than a mansion.

"This way." Haymitch said to us and we turned and walked the perimeter of it, right outside of the trees. We walked along the edge, trying to hold tight to our sanity. I could feel mine slipping away from me with every step closer.

As we rounded the corner of the building, we saw it. The Garden. It was massive, of course. Beautiful, colorful flowers and plants and bushes and trees were sprouting everywhere. It was all surrounded by a black fence. If I strained my neck, I could make out the two guards who stood by the gates entrance.

"Okay. Stay Calm." Haymitch began. "Walk up like you belong there. And then when they start to ask questions, we'll spray the pepper spray."

He began to walk towards them and we had no choice but to follow behind. I was going to throw up. I was going to pass out. I was going to-

No.

I had to be brave.

I had to swallow my fear and be brave because this was what we had been working towards. This was what we had wanted all along.

We reached the gate a moment later. The guards sat up straight but they didn't reach for their guns quite yet. I found this comforting.

Haymitch began to speak with confidence. "We were sent here on a special assignment by the President himself."

The guards exchanged a look. The one to the right shook his head. "We have not been notified of any special assignments. We can't let you through."

And then, Haymitch nodded, just slightly, at Finnick, who nodded at Gale, Kyler, and Peeta. And all at once, it happened.

All at once, Haymitch grabbed the guards gun and smacked it into his gut. Hard. The man moaned and fell to his the exact same time, Finnick had the other guard with his face smashed into the ground and his foot on his neck. And then, the boys were spraying them in the eyes with pepper spray and there was screaming and thrashing and then… silence.

I looked up at Haymitch. "The spray passes them out for a good few hours." He tossed the guard's gun to Peeta and the other guard's gun to Kyler. Then, he stepped over the guards bodies and opened the gate door easily. "Let's go, then." He said as he motioned us to follow him impatiently.

Katniss was the first to cross over, followed by Peeta. And then the rest of us joined him on the other side of the gate. There was a stoned pathway that led straight up to the back door. We hurried to the door, afraid of who might see the guard's bodies and figure out what was going on. Of course, when we reached the door, it required a code.

"Dammit." Someone whispered under their breath.

I sighed. "Okay, okay. Let's think for a second. What could the code be?"

"How many numbers is it?" Kyler asked from behind me.

I stepped closer and saw the screen was about two inches long. Enough to hold no more than four numbers. "It can't be too long." I said. "Four, I think."

A silence fell over us as we all tried to work it out in our heads as quickly as possible. It could be anything. Any combination of four numbers. We could very possibly never ever figure it out. But Snow was so meticulous, he thought out everything he did. There was no way he chose four random numbers. They had to be mean something. Something big. We all knew how he was with the games, every year. So detailed and so-

Wait. The Games.

"The Hunger Games!" I spat out. "The code has to do with The Hunger Games!"

"It was the 74th games this year." Katniss said slowly, figuring this out in her head. "Seven-four-something-something."

"Seven-four-seven-four?" Gale suggested.

I shook my head. "No. That's too obvious."

"Two-four." Peeta whispered. "Because there are twenty-four tributes in the arena."

I grabbed his shoulder and squeezed it. "Peeta, that's brilliant!"

I went to type in it when Haymitch stopped me. "Wait!" He said. I pulled my hand back. "Of those twenty-four tributes, how many die?"

I paused. "Twenty-three." I whispered, not getting it. And then, it all clicked. "Twenty-three!" I said a little louder. "Seven-four-two-three." Haymitch nodded and I think I saw him smile from under his helmet.

I sighed and leaned in, punching in:

7-4-2-3

I pressed the big_ ENTER_ button. The screen turned green and made a small beeping sound and then I heard the unmistakable sound of the door unlocking itself. We all turned and stared at one another for a moment, letting the truth sink in _slowly slowly slowly._

We were in.

* * *

_**A/N:I actually didn't plan on stopping there. I wanted to keep going but then I realized if I didn't stop here, I would go on for another four thousand words and I'll just save that for next chapter! ;)**_

_**Okay, so I need to say something about the Kyler/Madge/Gale situation. First of all, let me say that, as every writer knows, you need to write what you want and not what your fans want. I had many people tell me they did not like Madge and Kyler kissing in the last chapter and they don't like the love triangle that has formed.**_

_**And although I just said I do NOT write to appease my fans but to appease myself, I do feel the need to defend Madge's action's a little. If YOU were Madge, what would you do? The love of her life despised her for MONTHS and there was this really cute, really sweet, really amazing guy who became her friend and then her best friend. And he really liked her and she liked him and he was different from Gale, yes, but she liked him all the same. And then, Gale comes back to her so she's caught in the middle.**_

_**I think it's pretty realistic as to what would happen, don't you?**_

_**Anyways, Madge and Gale had quite a moment this chapter! I hope it didn't seem like A LOT after her kiss with Kyler. But in a way, this was her goodbye to Gale (in her mind). And goodbyes are always dramatic! ANYWAYS, let me know what you thought.**_

_**And be prepared for lots of craziness in the last few chapters! (THREE MORE). WRITE A REVIEW IF YOU COULD. THANKS. XOXO,**_

_**NOT GOSSIP GIRL.**_


	15. Chapter 15

One by one, we followed each other inside into the mansion. A white, endless hallway was before us. Quietly, we made our way down it, constantly looking to our left and right to make sure nobody was sneaking up on us. It was silent, calm, eerie. That only made the entire situation more unnerving. Katniss was in front of me and I could see the way her hands were shaking down by her sides. Again, this only added to my own nerves. If Katniss was afraid, I sure had enough reasons to be.

We walked in the quiet to the end of the hallway. Once there, the hall split into three. We had all memorized the map. We knew in order to get to the President's room, we needed to take a left. After we took a left, we would cut through the kitchen which would lead us to the dining room and from there, we could head upstairs.

Haymitch, who was at the front of our line with his gun, turned to the left and we all followed behind as quickly and soundlessly as possible. As we walked, we were once again met with nothing but silence. The place appeared to be deserted. And I knew, I just knew, it couldn't be this easy. Nothing was this easy. Something was wrong. Terribly wrong.

And just as the thought formed in my brain, just as I opened my mouth to ask the others if they felt the same horrible feeling in the pit of their stomachs, just as all of this happened, a door on the right side of the hallway swung open right in front of us. A man in a suit stepped out and jumped back when he saw us.

He opened his mouth to speak or yell or try to call for help. I am not sure which one and I will never know. Because Haymitch shot the man before he could so much as blink.

At the sound of the gun, a group of men rushed out of the same room, screaming and hurling words at us I couldn't make out in the chaos. They each reached into their back pockets as they stood in front of us. Guns. They all had guns.

And there were at least ten of them.

"Put your weapons down!" One of them with long dark hair screamed at us. "All Peacekeepers were ordered to the hovercrafts!"

Haymitch, Finnick, Peeta, and Kyler held their guns out, eyes narrowed and ready to fight. "Like hell we will!" Haymitch barked back.

"Call security." The guy with long hair said to the man to his left. "We have a 258 on our hands."

"258?" I whispered to myself.

Katniss leaned into me. "Double agents."

I nodded slowly and made a mental note to study more of the Capitol notes like Katniss did before our next assassination attempt of a President. And then I put the pieces together. These men thought we were real Peacekeepers working for the Rebels. And if they thought that then…

Then there must've been real Peacekeepers working for the rebels. The hope rose in my chest before I could stop it.

The man repeated the order. "258." And then his finger went to the trigger.

Finnick stepped forward and pointed his gun at him. "Move another muscle and I'll blow you to pieces."

The man slowly removed his finger from the trigger and held his breath, wide eyes.

They may have had handguns. But those guns didn't compare to the ones our boys had. And then, out of the corner of my eye, I saw a movement. A movement from one of the men. And I saw it just in time. I saw it one second before everybody else. And the one second was enough for me to scream,"SHOOT!"

Because the movement I saw was a man reaching for the trigger.

Gun shots rang out all around us. I dropped to the floor, slamming my weight against my wrist so hard, I let out a cry in pain. I rolled to my back and laid there for a second, eyes closed as bullets rained all around me. No doubt we were winning. No doubt our guns were destroying theirs.

No doubt we were killing these people. These people with families and friends and jobs. No doubt we just made some children fatherless, made some wives widows. We had just killed someone best friend, someones whole entire world. So many more people were dying so we could have a chance at freedom.

But why were their lives so expendable when ours were not?

And for a split second, for one fleeting moment, I felt this feeling deep down in my chest, this burning that said to me something so horrible, I could hardly even swallow the thought.

_You are just as bad as him._

And then I shook my head and willed the thought away. I let it go into the air and refused, refused to ever think it again.

I closed my eyes and held my wrist and was met with silence. I opened my eyes and looked around. The fighting was over. And we were all alive.

I got to my feet and refused to look at the bloody floor in front of us, I refused to look at the bodies of the ten men we had just murdered. Instead, I looked at my family around me. Peeta was breathing hard and rubbing his head. He had slammed it into the wall during the battle. Haymitch was leaning against the wall and wiping sweat and somebodies blood off his neck. Kyler was staring at his gun like it was a foreign object, like he could not believe the thing in his hand had just produced enough power to kill the men in front of us. Then, his face went pale.

He wasn't used to killing. Not in the way those of us in the games were.

I wanted to laugh at thought. Used to killing. We were used to killing and I wanted to throw up because of it.

After a long moment of heavy breathing from all of us, Haymitch gripped his gun again and said, "Okay. Let's keep moving."

And so we began to walk again. Stepping over the dead bodies. Like it was nothing. Like they were nothing. And I began to feel that thought again, even though I had vowed to never feel it again. I begin to feel like there was no separation between us and-"

"Madge!" Someone yelled from behind me.

I turned around and saw Kyler running towards me. He put his hands to my shoulders and squeezed them. "Madge, it's Gale! He's… he won't come."

"What?"

Kyler turned around and I followed his gaze all the way to where we had just been, where we had just been when we were shooting at the men. And against the wall was Gale, rocking back and forth and curled up into a ball.

I sprinted over to him and practically tripped as I pulled myself to the floor, so we were eye level. He was whispering something to himself and just rocking back and forth, back and forth, his eyes glazed over with fear and horror and grief.

"Gale." I whispered his name.

He looked up at me. "I…" He began, "I can't… I can't do this." He whimpered.

My hand went to his cheek. "Gale." I said fiercely. "_Yes_ you can."

He shook his head and a tear rolled down his cheek. "You don't understand." He said softly. Then, "YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!" He hurled the words at me through his tears. "I see it all… I see everything. Everything they did to me!" His eyes looked so afraid.

And I had never seen Gale look afraid. Ever.

I understood it then. The guns in the hall, the men, it triggered something in him. A flashback from the time he spent in the Capitol, the time they erased his memory and did God knows what to him. Being here, being in this place, it was all too much for him. He really couldn't do this, could he?

And who would I be if I forced him?

"Okay, Gale." I whispered, my thumbs running against his cheeks. "Okay. You don't have to. You don't have to go on."

He sat there, saying nothing but just crying. Crying softly. And he looked so young to me in that moment. Maybe because I had never really seen Gale cry. Sure, I had seen him choked up. But never like this. Never had I seen Gale so vulnerable. It reminded me of when we were younger, when I saved his life with that peacekeeper. I saw that little boy again. That bloody, helpless boy.

I was always saving him. And he was always saving me. Maybe that's what we did. Maybe that's who we were. Maybe, at the end of the day, after we take away the tears and kisses and fleeting things, we are just two people with this irrevocable need to save each other.

He took a deep breath and then met my eyes. My hands were still cupping his face. He tried to give me a smile but it never quite made it to his eyes. "When you kissed me earlier today-"

"You remembered again. More about us in the games." I finished for him.

He nodded. "I love you too, you know. I didn't realize it until earlier but I do. I love you _a lot." _He said as another tear rolled down his cheek and I caught it with my finger.

"Good." I said quickly. "Because right now, I have to go defeat the president and you have to get the hell out of here and that love you feel, the love I feel, it's going to have to be enough to keep us both alive, to keep us _all_ alive." I leaned in and kissed him once and he tasted like pain. "Got it?"

He nodded and pulled me into him, his face pressed into my hair. "Got it." He whispered back before his lips found my neck, pressing there softly, just once. Just enough to make me never want to leave. But I had to. And he had to.

"I'll do what I can from outside the mansion." Gale said.

"I know you will."

He looked ahead and I turned. The rest of our group wasn't even visible anymore. "I need to go."

Gale sighed and took my hand. "You are the most incredible girl I have ever met, Madge. Never forget that." Then he let go and started walking the other way. And I had no choice but to turn and head down the hall in the other direction.

And he loved me. Gale loved me again. Just like in the games. And I loved him. And we were parting. And I had to do this without him. I had to kill the president without him. And our love had to be enough. It just had to be. I swallowed whatever tears I had left and stood up straight as I walked down the bloody hallway.

* * *

The kitchen was huge. It stretched on and on and sparkled against the light. It was all so shiny and new and reminded me of the days we spent there in the Capitol before the games. We all stared at it for a moment, just taking it in. Even Haymitch seemed awed by it, and he had even been in the mansion before.

We heard Madge come up behind us. She must've ran here from the way she was breathing so heavily. And Gale was not with her. It must've been too much for him. I saw Kyler meet her eyes and give her a questioning glance, asking with his eyes if she was okay. Madge smiled softly and nodded once. Then her smile faded again.

I turned away, feeling like I was intruding on something personal. We were moving through the kitchen then, moving past stainless steel fridges and stoves, moving past the glossy, impossibly white tile beneath our feet. We remained as silent as possible, of course. Any movement could set something off, any sound could have us captured and killed in a nanosecond.

A pan slipped off its hanging rack above us and toppled to the floor. We all gasped and froze, the sound echoing across the room with a _clank, clank, clank._Nobody moved for a good minute or two. And nothing happened. Nobody came for us. Haymitch exhaled and said softly, "I think we're in the clear."

And so we continued through the never ending kitchen. It really did seem to stretch on and on. Finally, we reached a tall, swinging door. We pushed it open, coming out of the kitchen and into the prettiest dining room anyone of us had ever seen.

Glossy, finished walls. A long, never ending table with velvet chairs and a huge glass vase as a centerpiece. A gorgeous, breathtaking chandelier that could only be made out of pure crystals that hung from the ceiling and made the room even more heart-stopping.

"Wow." I whispered, without even really meaning to speak. It was just so… wow.

We walked along the side of the room, passing many paintings of people I didn't recognize. Perhaps some of them were the presidents before Snow. I wondered if they were just as ruthless. I wondered if they killed without blinking an eye. I wondered if that's what it took to become powerful; a cold, empty heart.

Half-way through the room, Haymitch turned around. "When we get to the door at the end of the hallway, we will take the first staircase on the left. Not the right. The _left._ Got it?"

We all nodded and he spun back around on his heels. Clutching his gun, he led us further into the dining room. He was a good leader, once he stopped drinking long enough to lead, anyways. I wondered what this was all like for him. To be back here in the Capitol, be here in the President's Mansion, to know that vengeance was right at his fingertips, to know that all the hurt and pain, all the death and misery, it could be made worth it. Just maybe, possibly, it could be worth _something._

He was probably ready to get this over with, like all the rest of us. But I wondered if there was a part of Haymitch that was scared. I wondered if he felt the fear I felt, the fear that made me want to turn around and run away, the fear that flashed the faces of the dead before my eyes, the fear that refused to ever fully go away.

I bet he did. And I wanted to tell him that it was okay. It was okay to be scared. And I started pushing my way to the front of the group, to where he stood, so I could remind him of this. And I was right behind his shoulder and I was reaching out to grab it and just as my hand touched the fabric of his uniform, it happened.

A siren began to ring throughout the room. A siren so deafening, so startling, we all immediately threw ourselves to the ground. A red light began to flash through the room and it was so bright, it blinded us. So, we laid there on the floor, deaf and blind. We were left utterly defenseless.

I began to crawl, feeling the floor with my hands as I moved against it. This worked for a few steps, but then I slipped in something and my chin crashed into the tile _hard_. It hurt. It hurt a lot and when I touched my chin with my hand, it came back thick with blood. And all around me, there was blood.

All around me.

And then it hit me.

It wasn't my blood.

It was… it was…

"Haymitch!" Madge cried from behind me and I was scared to look. I was scared to turn around to where Haymitch was. I was too damn scared. So I counted to three. One, two, three. And then I did it.

I turned around. And there he was, laying on his back, his hand pressed to his bloody chest, a hole just below his ribs where he had been shot.

When the sirens went off, someone or something had shot at us and Haymitch, who had been at the front of our group, was the lucky one to get hit. I crawled over to his side, the sirens still ringing all around us and the red lights still flashing and blinding us. But none of that mattered. The only thing that mattered was Haymitch.

He was panting and groaning. I ripped off my jacket and pressed it into his wound, holding it there and willing him not to do it, willing him not to die. Because _no_. _No, dammit. _He wasn't allowed to leave us. He wasn't allowed to come this far and then just leave us.

"Haymitch." Finnick said, taking his hand into his lap. "Haymitch, you're fine. You're going to be fine."

Haymitch swore and then groaned again. I grabbed his hand and squeezed it hard. He winced and I loosened my grip just a little. His eyes found mine and he began to speak through breathy, husky whispers.

"You guys gotta get the hell out of here. Get to the stairs."

I shook my head. "No. We can't leave you here. We won't."

Haymitch, even in his state, managed to roll his eyes. "You can and you will. Whoever shot at me... they're coming for you. All of you. Go."

I looked up at Finnick, who I could tell was torn. He opened his mouth and then shut it again, at a loss for words. The sirens were still ringing through the room and the lights were still flashing. The chaos was still all around us, even if we were choosing to ignore it.

"If you stay here with me, you will all die." Haymitch growled. "All the people in the districts who died for us today, all those kids in the arena, all our families..." Haymitch paused to close his eyes for a moment. Then, he opened them again, slowly. "We have to make their deaths worth something. You, Gale, Madge and Peeta... You don't realize how strong you all are. Separately, yes. But together, you're a force to be reckoned with. You can do this. Without me, you can do this." He finished.

_Some force we are_, I thought. _Gale is somewhere else, paralyzed with fear. Madge is looking like she's seconds away from breaking down, Peeta's head is bleeding more than a head should ever bleed, and me?_

_I feel like I died a long, long time ago._

I swallowed hard, the tears threatening to fall. Haymitch had carried us through these past six months. He had lead us and protected us and never sugar coated anything. He always told us how it was. He was always raw and real and under every inch of his rough exterior, there was a honorable man with every intention to work for the good of everyone else.

And I was going to have to add his name to the list of people who died so I could live.

"Haymitch," I began. "I..."

"I know, okay?" He cut me off. " I know, and me too."

And then, there were people at the beginning of the dining hall. And they were chasing after us. And we had to get up and we had to move and we had to leave Haymitch there, bloody and defenseless and... and dying. I found his eyes one last time and I swear, they spoke to me in that moment. They told me that it was okay. They told me that it was okay to let go of his hand and to move on and to go do what we came to do and to change our country for forever and it was okay to do all of this without him.

So I let go and I stood to my feet. And although my legs felt like jello, and even though every part of me wanted to collapse to the floor and sob and wither away, I ran. I ran with Finnick to my right and Madge to my left and Peeta behind me and Kyler in front of me. We could feel the men behind us, at our heels. And just as I wondered why they weren't shooting at us, the first shot rang out.

Madge shrieked and dodged away from an arrow of some kind. It probably contained poison to knock her out. These men most likely didn't want to kill us. They wanted to capture us. And then torture us. And _then_ kill us. Kyler lifted his gun over our heads and started shooting at the men. We reached the staircase and a string of shots rang out behind us. I tripped over someone and smashed my head into Finnick's shoulder. He caught me before I toppled to the floor. We took the stairs as quickly as possible, skipping three to four steps at a time. The stairs spiralled and spiralled, which made us even harder targets to hit.

It wasn't until we were near the top of the stairs that I turned and saw the identical staircase to my left. And if that staircase was to the left of me then that meant...

"We're on the wrong staircase!" I screamed. "We were supposed to take the _left _staircase. This is the staircase to the right!"

Finnick didn't even turn around. He just kept running. "Then we have to face whatever the hell is at the top of these stairs. No turning back now!"

"But-"

"Just run, Katniss!" He yelled back.

And so we did. We ran up the stairs until they finally opened up to a hallway. It wasn't until this point that we realized the men had not followed us up the stairs and could no longer shoot at us. At the top the stairs, we all collapsed to the floor in a pile of sweat and blood and heavy breathing.

I don't know what possessed me to look up. I shouldn't have. Nothing good could be at the top of those stairs. I knew that. I knew that the moment I realized we had taken the wrong set. But I looked up anyway. And the color drained from my face and my stomach dropped all the way to my toes.

Because right on the wall...

In Black Paint...

It read:

_Hallway P_

* * *

**_A/N: I don't wanna say much here because if I babble on for too long, I will give something away! Two more chapters! Let me know what ya'll think! And I thank you guys so much for sticking with this story. Most of you have stuck with it through the very begining of Only One. It means so much to me that you guys take the time to read MY work and comment on it! Wow, you guys are seriously the best._**

**_COMMENT! Even if you're angry at me, comment. I can take it! haha!  
_**


	16. Chapter 16

We were told over and over again by Haymitch to look out for Hallway P. We were told to avoid it under any cost. And somehow, we had found ourselves there. I looked over at Katniss besides me and her face was just as pale as my own. Finnick swore under his breath.

"Look," Kyler began from besides me. "Maybe it's not that bad. We've overcome a lot of obstacles. We can overcome this one."

There it was. That piece of Kyler that reminded me of Peeta. That optimism that he held onto, despite the circumstances. I swallowed hard. I used to be optimistic. But then my world fell apart.

"And it's not like we can just turn around. We have to face this. We have to fight." He continued.

Peeta sighed. "He's right." He stood to his feet but had to grab onto Katniss's arm to keep him steady. He had tore the arm of his jacket and tied it to his bloody head wound. I worried he was losing too much blood and from the way Katniss was staring at it, she was too. "Who knows how much time we have before those men come after us? We have to get this over with. This hall leads directly to his room, right? So we are almost there."

"It leads directly to his room, yes. But Haymitch said it's the most dangerous hallway in this entire place." Katniss said. "We can't just approach this like it's nothing, like it's just another little hill we need to get over. This, right here, this is a _mountain_."

"Then let's get climbing." Finnick said, adjusting the gun in his hand.

And so we all stood to our feet and made our way down the hallway, despite everyone's concerns. It appeared just like all the other halls. It was quiet and white and endless. But I knew it was only a matter of time before something horrible happened. After all, a hallway leading directly to the President's room _had_ to be a trap hallway.

My wrist throbbed as we walked but I ignored it. I was alive and that's all that mattered for the moment. Although, from the shape of it, I was certain it was broken. As we walked, Katniss took the lead and Finnick watched our backs. We were halfway down the white hallway when it began to shake.

We all looked around at each other, confused. The entire hallway was shaking, as if we were in the middle of an earthquake. And just as I looked up, thinking the ceiling was going to collapse, my feet began to spread apart. I looked down. The floor was splitting in half! I shrieked and jumped over so both my feet were on the same side of the floor. Everyone else did the same and just in time, too. The floor split quickly, opening up and revealing the most terrifying hole in the floor.

Smoke rose then from the hole, so much smoke, we all started coughing and gagging. And the smoke was _hot_. And then I noticed the bubbling, red substance underneath the smoke. This hole was filled with lava! Hot, skin melting lava. We started to back away slowly, me, Peeta, Kyler, and Katniss.

That's when I realized we were missing someone.

"Finnick?" I looked around. He hadn't jumped over to the other side like we had all done. "Finnick!" I began to scream across the thick smoke. Already, the tears were forming behind my eyes. I couldn't lose Finnick too. We had just lost Haymitch!

"Madge!" He called back. "I'm okay! I just... I couldn't jump the hole in time!" I could just make him out now, if I really squinted. He was there and he was safe.

I breathed a sigh of relief. At least he hadn't fallen into the boiling lava. But he was on the other side... and there was no way for him to cross.

"What... what are we going to do?" I called back to him.

"Go on without me! I need to go back to Haymitch."

Katniss spoke up then. "Finnick! We can't do this without you _and_ Haymitch _and_ Gale!"

He laughed. Although nothing was very funny. "You can and you will. You have to."

I watched her as she swallowed hard, her eyes blinking. Without giving it a second though, I reached down and grabbed her hand. She tensed for a moment but then squeezed my hand back tightly. I smiled.

"You guys need to go!" Finnick said. "Get out of here! Go!"

And so without even saying goodbye, we ran. We ran down the hallway. Hallway P. And as we ran, I tried to convince myself that _I could do this, I could do this, I could do this. _But I knew I couldn't.

In less than half an hour, I had lost Gale, Haymitch, and Finnick. But yet, I was expected to just keep running like nothing had happened. I was supposed to just move on and let go and finish our mission.

Sure, no problem.

We ran and ran and ran until we had to stop to rest. I was running so fast, I almost threw up. Leaning against the wall, breathing heavy, I looked over at the others, who were all in ten times worse shape than I was. Especially Peeta and his bleeding head wound.

"How long is this hall?" I asked, once I caught my breath.

Kyler shrugged. "It appears to be never-ending. It probably is. It's probably nothing but a never ending hallway designed to kill us through exhaustion. It's working."

I snapped at him. "Shut up. Don't admit defeat like that. We have to stay strong and _think _strong. I swear to god, I will not lose you, Kyler. I will not lose you _any_ of you. If we are going to do this, if the_ four of us_ are going to do this, we need to think like victors. Got it?"

The three of them nodded, wide eyed at my sudden boost of leadership and courage. I was quite surprised myself.

"Now let's get moving again." We weren't running anymore. But we were walking with our heads held high and our hearts fueled.

And right then is when the shower of acid turned on.

I was just taking my next step when I felt a slight burning on my right foot. I pulled my feet back and everyone stopped behind me. I looked up and noticed something dripping. I looked down at my now excruciatingly, aching foot and saw a tiny hole. That drop had burnt a hole right through my shoe.

"It's acid!" I yelled and we all stepped back. The drop that hit my foot had now turned into a complete shower of acid. It was coming from the ceiling and it stretched the entire length of the wall. It was at least three feet wide. There was no way we could continue down the hall for there was absolutely no way around it.

"What the hell?" Kyler said, staring at it. "It looks like water.'

"Well, it isn't." I said in what I thought was my brave voice. But from the way Kyler immediately turned around and started holding my waist, I knew my brave voice must've sounded pretty weak. Because he was concerned.

"What's wrong? What happened?" He asked, panicked. The pain was getting worse with every moment. It was just one drop! One drop of acid! All I could do was point at my foot. He dropped down to the floor and swore under his breath. "Katniss, Peeta, come look at this."

I was going to throw up. I was hot. No. I was cold. No. I was hot again. The floor and ceiling began to switch places. I groaned and tried to take a step forward. The pain jolted through me and I collapsed to the floor. Kyler caught me before my head slammed into the tile. He hoisted me up so my back was leaning against his chest. His hands locked around my waist as Katniss took off my boot and sock to examine my foot.

I heard her swear in the same way Kyler had. I gathered the courage to look and then wished I hadn't. Because right under my second toe, was a hole. A hole through my skin. I could see the bone of my toe. The area around the hole was red as could be.

I sat up so I wouldn't get puke on Kyler. I threw up for a good five minutes straight. My throat burned and there were tears in my eyes. And I couldn't walk. I couldn't walk! There was a hole. in. my. foot.

"What are we going to do?" I moaned.

Kyler ran his hand across my back soothingly. It felt so good and I was so tired. I leaned back into him again.

Peeta and Katniss were staring at each other, clearly trying to come up with an idea of some kind. And then she looked down at her shooting arrow gun. Without another word, she stood up and shot the gun at the very corner of the ceiling. The arrow got lodged in the side of the shower and the flowing acid stopped on one side. We had an opening!

But I still couldn't walk...

"But what about me?" And then Kyler was scooping me up in his arms, no questions asked. I went to protest but then realized it was pointless. He wouldn't listen and what other options did we have? It just made me feel so helpless, so naive, so little.

And so being as careful as possible, we all made it through the opening in the acid shower. Kyler took me through first, turning his back to the acid to shield me. Once we all were on normal ground again, we walked at normal pace. Well... Kyler walked. I was carried, obviously.

"You doing okay?" He asked me as we followed behind Katniss and Peeta.

"No."

"Yeah, me neither." He whispered.

My hands were locked around his neck and I laid my head into his shoulder because I was oh so tired and oh so nauseated and oh so ready to just die already. And my foot continued to throb through my entire body. At least it made the pain in my wrist go away. I sighed and closed my eyes and breathed in his scent as I snuggled my head deeper into him. "Do you think we are all going to die?" I whispered.

His hesitation made me feel even worse.

"I'll take that as a yes." I mumbled.

"No. It's just... I don't know. I don't know what's going to happen to us. But I do know one thing."

"What's that?"

"Your hair smells amazing. We've been living in an attic. How does your hair smell this good?"

I started to laugh so hard, I almost threw up again. I forced myself to stop laughing and tried to get the nausea to pass. Which it eventually did. And then I laid my head back into his chest and thought about all the reasons why I cared for Kyler so much. I found his ability to make a joke even in the most dire of situations to be at the top of the list of reasons why. But of course, there was his spirit. His drive to do good, to shed light in the dark... his faithfulness to me and our friendship.

I sighed audibly and I heard Kyler chuckle. And then... he stopped laughing. And when he spoke again, his voice was sad. "You know, I have dreamed of this scenario. Me, cradling you in my arms, being your knight in shining armor..."

I smiled softly. "And?"

He didn't say anything more for a moment. Just kept carrying me down the endless hallway. Finally, he spoke again, his voice strangled and raspy. "And it's nothing like I pictured. Because in my dream, it meant just as much to you as it meant to me." He wasn't angry. He was just... broken.

I could relate.

"Kyler," I began softly.

"No. It's okay, Madge. You love him. You loved him before me and you will love him after me. There is no way around that, am I wrong?"

I didn't deny his statement. His heart began to beat too loudly and too quickly against my cheek.

"That's what I thought." He said so quietly, it was almost like he didn't say it at all. "I put up a damn good fight though, didn't I?" He laughed at his own joke and then went quiet again.

My heart was breaking more and more with every passing moment. I never wanted any of this. I should've never got myself involved with Kyler Mellark. I should've never fallen for him or his stupid, blue eyes. I should've never let my heart think for my head. Because those raw and real emotions you feel are so blinding sometimes.

Everyone tells you to follow your heart but I've followed mine for 6 months and all it got me was a big mess.

"I just need to know one thing." Kyler said.

I swallowed hard. "What's that?"

"In another life... perhaps one where there is no Gale, do you think... you could be with me and be happy?"

My grip tightened around his neck just slightly. I closed my eyes for a long moment and took a slow, deep breath. I searched my mind for an answer. I searched the depths of my broken, tangled mind. And then, out of seemingly nowhere, I could picture it. Clear as day. I pictured me and Kyler hand in hand, running through a field, the sun hitting us just right. I pictured myself running from him as he grabs my waist and tickles me, pulling me into him and pressing his lips into my own. I pictured us growing up together, getting married, having children. Little, blond haired babies running around the house. I pictured Kyler dancing with them in the kitchen as I prepared dinner and watched with a smile on my face. I pictured nights where we would hold each other in bed, his hand running through my hair and my face pressed into his chest, like it is right now.

I could see it all. I could see our future. But it was a future that could never be. And we both knew that. Because I liked Kyler, yes. I liked him more than I ever thought possible. He made me feel light and happy and brilliant and like I was floating on a cloud, gliding through the sky.

But I _loved_ Gale. I loved him so much, it consumed my thoughts and sunk deep into my skin and nestled between the layers of everything I was. I loved him more and more each and every day. He didn't just make me happy, he completed me. He was _a part _of me. He made me feel whole. And that was the difference. That was the difference between Kyler and Gale.

"Kyler, I would be so happy with you. You would make me so happy. You already do." I whispered as the tears began to pool behind my eyes against my will.

"Not happy enough." He whispered.

I looked up at him then. And he had real tears in his eyes. And I hated that I was hurting him so much. I wanted to make it better. I wanted to make it go away. But everything I said was only making it worse.

"You know you deserve more than a girl who can't give you everything." I said into his chest.

"I know that's supposed to make me feel better but it just makes me feel worse because Gale is the reason you can't give me everything. But it's okay. It's going to be okay. I will get over it."

I wanted to respond but I didn't know how. I had run out of words to say to make it better. Nothing could make it better. But there was just so much I wanted him to know. Like how this was hurting me too. How I truly did like him. How he had changed my life. How without him, I would've never survived the worst time of my life.

But I didn't say any of these things. And he just kept carrying me, with my head pressed into his heart.

That's when I heard the low, faint siren.

"What the hell?" Katniss said in front of me.

I glanced up. And as I did, the hallway went pitch black. And the siren stopped. I shrieked and instinctively tightened my grip on Kyler's neck. It's was dark as possible. Not even my own hand was visible as I held it up to my face.

"Kyler..." I whispered.

"Shhh!" He whispered back harshly.

As so I shut up. And we were all frozen, wondering what was going to happen next. Wondering what could happen to us in this hallway. And I almost cried out of pure frustration. Because _what else_, I thought. _What else could he possibly do to us?_

He scared Gale out of here.

He shot Haymitch.

He separated us from Finnick.

Peeta was bleeding to death.

And I couldn't walk.

But of course, this was the man who killed children for entertainment. This was the man who didn't even blink an eye as he watched 12 year olds die. This was the man who killed my father. _My father._

And then we heard it. The rumbling behind us. Like a stomach growling but only louder and more painful to the ears. And then the floor was shaking and we all thought it was separating again. Kyle leaped ahead with me in his arms. And the rumbling got louder. And the shaking got worse. And I had the bright idea to glance behind me, even though I could not see a single thing.

But wait... if I squinted... I could make out... something. A shadow of something?

Something huge and round, making it's way right towards us.

"RUN!" I shouted.

And Peeta rans. And Katniss ran. And Kyler ran with me in his arms.

* * *

It was a boulder of some kind. That was the only thing I knew. I just kept running and running with Peeta by my side and with Kyler and Madge behind me. Well, Kyler was behind me with Madge in his arms, anyways.

We ran down the hall and then, when it took a sharp right, we turned. Looking back behind my shoulder, I had hoped the boulder wouldn't be able to fit into the turn but it did. And it seemed to be picking up speed with every passing, pounding second. I could hear Peeta huffing from besides me. He was losing a lot of blood from his head wound. Too much blood. And although Madge was tiny and couldn't weigh all that much, I knew Kyler was getting winded from carrying her.

The boulder was on our heels. We were all running out of fight. It hit me in that moment that we were all about to die. There was nothing more we could do. We couldn't escape this any longer. Everything we had fought for, everything we had worked so hard for, it didn't matter. We were dying.

They say that right before you die, your life flashes before your eyes. I wondered if it was true. I wondered when my flashes would start. I wondered what I would see. The ocean, of course. The waves crashing up against the shore. Peeta turning to me in the wind, his shaggy hair falling over his eyes. Prim giggling as I run around, tickling her. My mother grabbing my hand at my father's funeral. Peeta's lips on my own.

I smiled. Maybe death wasn't so bad. Maybe Peeta would still be with me. Maybe we would all still be together. Maybe I would get to see my father again. I slowed down my pace just a little, not enough to get Peeta to notice, but just enough to give death the chance to catch up with me. Maybe it was long overdue, anyway.

"What are you doing? Come on!" Peeta yanked my hand and pulled me along. I swore under my breath. Of course he had noticed. He noticed _everything_.

"It's hopeless!" I cried. "Don't you get it, Peeta? We can't run for forever!"

He turned to me as he continued to drag me down the hall, his eyes wide and blood shot. "What are you saying?"

I hesitated to speak the words. I wasn't that girl. I wasn't the girl who gave up. I wasn't the girl who folded in the towel when things got tough. But I also wasn't an idiot. I knew when I was being played. And President Snow, he was playing us. He knew nobody could survive this. We were kidding ourselves if we honestly thought we could make it to his room alive.

"Katniss?" Peeta said, his voice suddenly quiet.

I swallowed and shook my head. "It's okay to give up sometimes, Peeta."

He didn't look at me for a long, long moment. We just ran and ran without saying a word. And then, he turned to me with his eyes, full of fear and pain and behind it all, determination.

"It's never okay to give up." He said. That's when he started to pick up speed. His grip on my hand was so tight, I had no choice but to keep up with him.

"LOOK AHEAD!" Kyler shouted from behind us. I didn't understand. Look ahead? The only thing ahead of us was more hallway. A dark and terrifying hallway, at that. But wait... was there light to the right? There was! There was light on the wall and as we approached, I squinted to make it out. We were a hundred feet away now.

"It's... it's a window!" Peeta said.

A window? A window! And all at once, my brain kicked back into survival mode. Because this was our only chance to survive. We could run down the endless hallway until we exhausted ourselves to death or we could take a chance and break out. We could potentially fall to our death. We could be dropped into a swimming pool of deadly alligators. We could land on spikes.

But even with all the horrible scenarios that could possibly await us beyond that window, there was a sliver of a possibility that we still had a chance.

It was Kyler who moved ahead of us then. He handed Madge off to Peeta and then he sprinted towards the window. He kicked as hard as could. The blades on his boots (his weapon) popped out and the window shattered. He shielded his face as tiny shards of glass exploded into the air. He put Madge back into his arms and stood on the other end of the hallway. We had to hurry. The boulder was a mere few seconds away from crushing us.

Kyler sprinted towards the window and turned his body at the last second, so his back went out the window first and he could protect Madge's body in his arms. Grabbing Peeta's hand, we plunged out the window after them. Whatever awaited us, wherever life took us, whatever happened...

We would go through it together.

I don't remember falling. I only remember the feeling of my back smacking into something fast and hard and then my body sinking sinking _sinking_. I remember the shock of the cold and the way my heart literally stopped beating at the impact. I remember flailing my arm arounds and breaking my head out of the cold, gasping for air.

Looking around, I realized that we had fallen into a swimming pool. A deep, wide pool that was surrounded with lounge chairs and marble floors. I swam to the edge of the pool, unable to catch my breath.

"Katniss? Are you alright?"

I turned my head and Peeta was swimming towards me. When I saw that he was okay, I immediately threw my arms around his neck and buried my head into his shoulder. We were alive. At least for now, we were alive. I heard Kyler grunt as he pulled up besides us, lifting Madge's body out of the water and onto the deck. She was pale. Very Pale.

"Madge?"

She winced, her hand to her forehead. "I'm okay. I promise, I'm okay. I just... I need a moment."

"We'll make that moment quick." Peeta whispered before he pointed towards a door on the other side of the room.

We all turned and looked.

Written across the door, in bright gold, was:

_President Snow_

We did it. We had made it. President Snow's room.

* * *

_**A/N: Hehehehehehehehe. TWO MORE CHAPTERS. Next chapter is the climax of the story and the following one will resolve everything, wrap it all up. Oh, man. I am excited for you guys to see where I take this story! Sorry this was so Madge-centric but.. she's kind of the main character. I know it should be her and Katniss equally but Katniss had 3 whole books about her ;p. Anyways, I told you guys this story would be more Gadge centric than Everlark. So, that's also why.**_

_**Speaking of Gadge, it BROKE MY HEART writing these Kyler/Madge scenes. I just want to give Kyler a big, fat hug. I love him. I love him so much.**_

_**What did you all think of the chapter? Any predictions for how things will go with the president? Any predictions AT ALL for ANYTHING?**_

_**Sorry this took so long to get out! Hope you enjoyed it.**_


	17. Chapter 17

Thirty feet away.

His room was thirty feet away from us.

We had battled peacekeepers, we had shot our way through a crowd of men, we had lost Haymitch and got separated from Finnick and Gale. We had survived the rain of acid and a boulder chasing us and a jump out of a window. We had done everything in our power to get to this moment. To reach this point. We were there.

We were finally going to finish this thing once and for all.

"Madge?" Kyler called to me from the water. I looked down at him and he pushed himself onto the pool deck. Wiping his face, he smiled at me. "I bet you never thought I'd be jumping out of a window with you in my arms today, did you?" He winked. He was back to his normal, cheerful, self.

I had to smile. And although I was nearly certain I was about to pass out from all my physical and emotional pains, I felt something resembling joy. A moment later, Peeta and Katniss crawled onto the deck as well. We all took a few moments to catch our breath and muster up some strength for the task ahead. Then, I realized, we didn't exactly have a plan for killing snow. We had spent so much time focusing on how to even get to his room without dying, nobody had taken the time to discuss how we could kill him without all of us dying.

"We need a plan." I said.

Kyler nodded. "I have an idea. It's either a really smart idea or a really stupid one." He looked at me and I motioned for him to go on. "We have one of us walk in as bait, distract him with our words and with a gun. The others sneak in and blindside him."

"What if he kills the bait?" Katniss asked.

"He won't." Peeta said. "Do you really think he will just shoot one of the rebels like it's nothing? He wants to make our deaths as painful and slow as possible. But there are four of us and one of him. We've made it this far. We can all get out of this alive."

Peeta's words had the desired effect. We all had a surge of hope. And sometimes, that's all you need: just a little hope.

After deciding that Peeta would be the best distraction since he would be able to use his words most effectively, the plan became quite simple. We would wait two minutes. Just two minutes. Then we'd follow him into the room and attack. It was simple and terrifying and most likely bound to fail but it was all we had.

Just as Katniss and Peeta stood to their feet, Kyler stopped them. "Wait," He looked over at me. "Madge still can't walk."

I shook my head. "Kyler, this is life or death. If I am forced to walk for a few minutes, I think I'll survive."

He rolled his eyes. "Madge, you _physically _cannot walk. That is not going to change."

"Clearly," I said with shaky hands, "you have no idea what kind of adrenaline rush I am on right now because I most certainly can." And then I stood up. Slowly, painfully, but yet, surely. And as my head rose, so did my nausea. And as I held my foot off the ground just a little, I wondered if I really could do it. I had heard about these stories before, of people in life and death situations. The adrenaline rush can make you do normally impossible things, like lift thousand pound crates off of children and move boulders off of legs. I felt that rush in my veins, I felt it swimming through my system, and I knew that the most important thing in the world was killing snow.

And with that, I put my foot down. And I felt nothing. None of the pain. I smirked at Kyler, who was now on his feet as well. "Don't ever tell a girl she can't do something."

He smiled softly and touched my cheek, like he had done a hundred times before. I blushed and turned my head just a little. His smile faded and he dropped his hand. We were both so quick to forget the conversation we had just had. The one where we accepted the fact that we couldn't be together, the one where my love for Gale overpowered anything I felt for Kyler. And it was still true.

But that didn't make it hurt any less.

Walking towards the door, Peeta found my hand to my right and then I found Kyler's hand to my left. And Katniss grabbed Peeta's other hand. And together, the four of us, as a unit, walked towards his bedroom. When we were standing right in front of it, we all let go of each other and then Peeta's hand hesitated on the door. He took a deep breath and then opened it. We all turned off to the side so we wouldn't be seen.

The moment the door opened, I could smell it. Gas. The same gas we used to knock out the guards back at the garden to the mansion.

And in some kind of immediate reaction, I pulled my mask down _before_ I warned the others. It only took an extra second, of course. But that extra second was long enough for the gas to reach the others. Peeta collapsed first, followed by Katniss and Kyler. The gas was thick and foggy and even through my mask, it had given me an immediate, horrible headache. I looked down at Katniss, Kyler, and Peeta, helpless and crumbled on the floor. A few seconds ago, we were holding hands and going into this thing as a team. And now...now I was all alone again. And how could I go in there alone? How could I go in there and leave them out here, helpless? What if someone captured them while I was in Snow's room? What ifsomeone_ killed _them?

As I stood there trying to figure out what the hell I was supposed to do in this situation, a noise from the other side of the room jolted me. I turned my head quickly at the sound. That's when I felt a sharp jerking of my shoulder. All at once, I was yanked into the room with a hand over my mouth to muffle my scream. I wanted to laugh and ask who was going to hear me scream when all my friends were passed out on the ground but I was too busy trying to free myself from the president's strong grip. He dragged me backwards through his room.

And then, he stopped dragging me.I looked up and saw that he had us in front of a mirror that covered his entire wall. He looked older than I remembered. His beard had grown too long. His eyes had lost too much color. He looked far too pale to be healthy. But yet... his grip on me was strong. Stronger than me.

Perhaps if I hadn't exhausted myself, perhaps if I hadn't broke my wrist and put a hole through my foot, perhaps then I would have had enough strength to get away from the man who had my back pinned in to his front with just _one _arm. I was still struggling when he opened his mouth to speak.

"Out of everybody, I am quite shocked you're the last one standing, Madge Undersee." He said, looking directly at me through the mirror.

"I'm not," I said, attempting to make myself sound brave. Because if I sounded brave, maybe I could convince myself that I _was_ brave.

Snow smiled and shivers ran down my spine. "Now now, you're not that scared, petty girl that was sent into the arena 6 months ago, are you?" He nodded. "I see you've developed a thicker skin."

"And you're the same manipulative murderer you were six months ago." I say through my teeth. His grip on me tightens and I let out a shriek in pain. If he were to slip up his arm just a little, he would be choking me.

"Ah, ah, ah!" He said, his eyes still locked on mine through the mirror. "I am not the only murderer standing in this room, am I?"

I swallowed.

He smirked and continued. "I can give you some grace on the things that happened in the games, of course. You were forced into that. But what about all the lives lost in the past 6 months? What about all the people who died so you could live? Your father, for starters... and Peeta and Kyler's family. Gale's little brother almost lost his life, as well. We can't forget about Haymitch, now can we?" He paused and let out a horrible, loud laugh. "_That_ one was a long time coming, don't you think? What about all the people in the districts who rebelled today so you could live? How many people have died in your name, Madge?"

I kept my lips clenched tight together and refused to let myself cry. _Don't give him the satisfaction of seeing your tears, _I thought. I also refused to break my eye contact with him. I would stare him down to the very last moment of my death, if I had to.

"You walk around fighting for life but all along, you cause death. What's the difference, Madge Undersee? What's the difference between you and me?" He smirked again.

I swallowed back my tears and blinked a few times. Then, I gathered up whatever ounce of fight I had left in me so I could say, "There is _quite_ a line between you and me. A few lines, actually."

He moved his arm up just half an inch. It was at my collarbone. "You have spent all your time blurring the lines between us! Think about it, Madge. I kill innocent children. You've killed innocent citizens. Even today, you and the rest of the rebels shot my men like it was nothing."

"We had to!" I cried out. "They were going to capture us! You cannot convince me that we are the same. You're a monster and we are just _children! _The people we have lost, the people who have died for us, they knew what they were dying for. Can't say the same about the countless people you've killed, can you?" I said through what was now wet eyes.

Snow seemed to consider my words. And then, he nodded slowly with a terrifying twinkle in his eyes. "No, I can't." He paused to tighten his grip on me. My skin was aching from the way he was squeezing me. Then, he just stared at me for a moment, like he was studying me. "But what happens if you kill me today? What happens when you go home and all your friends, all the people you knew, are dead? Because of _you?_ The guilt will you eat alive. But me?" He smirked. "I will die without a single regret."

"That only proves that I am human." I said through a whisper. And then, something occurred to me. And as I spoke, the truth came to light. "All our actions in the past half a year, all the lives lost, all the mistakes made, it doesn't put us on the same level as you. All it does is just reiterate the fact that _we are human_. And because we are human, we are flawed. We make mistakes and we screw up and we lose people we care about. But we always, _always _keep going. And although we may lose everybody, we never lose ourselves." I was staring right back at him through the mirror now. My eyes piercing right into him. "You lost yourself years ago, didn't you?"

He didn't even blink an eye. His smirk grew wider. "My, my. What a little psychiatrist I have found in you. You are a full of surprises, Madge Undersee! Such a shame you won't live to see tomorrow, isn't it?"

I swallowed and let his words really sink in. I was going to die. I was going to be killed and I would never again see Gale or Kyler or Katniss or Peeta or anyone. I would die. I waited for the pain. I waited for the horrible truth of his words to cut me deep but... they didn't. And it hit me in that moment.

I wasn't afraid to die. It wasn't like after Gale was captured where I _wanted_ to die. Because even then, I was scared of it. No, this was a new feeling all together. This was like when you are finally brave enough to turn off the lights before you go to bed. This was like letting go of your mother's hand for the first time in a crowd. You're finally brave enough to face whatever struggle is in front of you. You understand the consequences and you're ready to try to tackle them.

If death was in my future, I would not be afraid. I had spent so long being scared. I was scared of living, of loving, of growing up. And I was sick of it. I was sick of fear. It swallowed me and it tried to drown me countless times but for once, for once in my chaotic life, I was going to face it head on, once and for all.

So, I smiled. I smiled straight at the president and said. "It's not really much of a shame, actually. I've lived my life."

He raised his brow for a moment. Clearly, I was surprising him. And then, his hand slid up my collarbone and gripped me around my neck. Instantly, I could not breathe. I struggled against the weight of him by kicking my feet. He let out a deep, throaty laugh and said, "If there's no shame in your death then why are you fighting it? What do you have left to live for, Madge Undersee?"

A burning sensation filled my lungs as he tightening his grip. I tried to kick again but the fight was literally being sucked away from me. _This is how I am going to die, then,_ I thought. _In the arms my enemy, of the one man I came here to kill myself. _

"I think..." He paused, as if he was truly, deep in thought. And then, he said, "I think I'll kill you now and then save the others for the public deaths. Lucky you, your death will be the most painless. Don't fight it," He whispered, "death won't be that bad. Think about your life. Think about the endless agony you've trekked through. You have lost everything and everyone, Madge. _Everyone_!" He shouted.

"She hasn't lost me."

We both turned at the voice coming from the doorframe. My eyes widened when I saw him. He still wore his white uniform, his mask over his face. He lifted up the mask and his eyes locked on mine. Dark grey, like always. The eyes that dug into the depths of my soul every time I looked into them.

Gale.

He had come back for me. Despite the horror it triggered, despite everything that had happened to him in the Capitol, he came back for _me_.

Snow loosened his grip, just a little. I gasped and took in a breath of air while I had the time. Gale took a step towards me. And at that, Snow removed his hand all together. I was so startled, I turned my head around to face him.

That's when I felt the cool barrell of a gun on my temple.

I froze.

"Take another step closer and she dies," Snow said.

Gale threw his hands up in the air and stopped moving. He swallowed hard and said, "She's not the one you want."

"Oh, really?" Snow asked.

Gale nodded. "No. You want me. More than any of the others, you want... no, _need _me. I am the ultimate betrayal. You handed me over to the rebels, hoping I would bring them back to you. Hoping I would torture them until I got answers to all of your questions. But none of that happened, did it? Instead, they locked me away and waited. They waited for me to come back to them." Gale's voice began to crack. "_She_ waited." His eyes found mine once again and everything else in the room faded away. Even the gun at my head. Gale licked his lips and said, "I was brainwashed here. I was brainwashed and forced to forget and I hated them. I hated her. But, she never gave up on me. Not for a moment. She was relentless in her pursuit to bring me back to myself again. And that's love, ya know? She went through hell and back for me and was patient and kind and..." He paused and wiped at his face. "...and perfect. She was perfect. Still is."

His eyes lifted up to Snows. "You don't want her. You want me. I am the dissapointment. I am your plan that failed. Killing me will be a lot more satisfying than killing her."

"Oh, I plan on killing all of you, no matter what, Gale Hawthorne." Snow said.

"But in this moment, right now, I am asking you to kill me instead of her."

"And why would I ever give you what you're asking for?" Snow asked Gale. I could still feel the coolness of the barrell. I could still feel its smooth surface against my skull. I wondered if it would hurt. I wondered if my life would flash before my eyes.

Gale didn't even hesitate. He pointed at me and said, "Because... she will have to watch. She will have to watch you kill me. And that will torture her more in this moment than her own death."

I bit down on my tongue to keep from screaming. I knew exactly what he was doing. He was hoping that by getting Snow to kill him, I could find a way to escape and save myself. Gale was sacrificing himself for me. He was saving me.

I thought back to the first time we met. The time I saved his life at the fence back when I was only 12 and he was 14. When he was being beaten to death by a peace keeper and I, not only stopped the beatings, but proceeded to take him to the doctors. And for years, he avoided me, treated me like dirt. And right then, with a gun to my head, I remembered our conversation we had the night before the games after our interviews.

_"You think this is easy for me?" He asked sharply. "You think I wanted to be helped by the perfect Mayor's Daughter? Do you know how horrible that made me feel, Madge? The fact that I was laying there, half-alive covered in blood and dirt and you waltzed over in your white dress and saved the day!"_

_I rolled my eyes. "So this is an issue of your ego and your pride?"_

_"Damn it. No, Madge!" He yelled. "It's the fact that I have no idea what to say to you, what to do, I have no idea how to repay you! I will spend the rest of my life owing you!"_

_I scoffed. "Oh, you don't owe me anything, Gale."_

_"I owe you everything!" He hurled back, stomping his foot out of frustration. "Everything." He repeated. "And I can't escape it. I can never... get away from it."_

I was pulled back to the present. I stared at Gale across the room and I understood. He was finally repaying me. He had tried to do in the games but then he got captured. He was finally clearing his debt with me. This was the ultimate sacrifice. I swallowed and dropped my eyes to the floor. And just like in the games, I hated him for this decision. I hated him and I would never forgive him.

Because why me? Why was everyone always dying for me? Who even was I? A stupid, little girl. I wasn't worth all of this. I couldn't carry the weight of the country. I couldn't lead a rebellion. I was barely hanging onto my life as it was. If anyone was supposed to die, it was me. Gale had to know that. Deep down, he had to know that his life could have so much more meaning than mine ever could.

"Don't listen to him." I whispered to the floor. "Don't listen to Gale. Kill me, Snow. Kill me right now. _Do it_."

"Madge, just shut up," I heard Gale say from across the room.

I refused to look up. Tears began to pool behind my eyes. "Kill me!"

"Madge," I heard his voice again, but it sounded suddenly so far away.

I screamed my words, hurling them at the president, at Gale, at myself. I glanced back up in the mirror and got a good, nasty look at myself as I said, "Just kill me, dammit!"

"Shut the hell up, Madge!" He hurled back, tears streaming down his face. I met his eyes once again and we stared at each other. From one wreck to another, we let the world fall away for just one moment. With wet cheeks and wild eyes, we just stared. Maybe we were both fighting to make sense of the others actions. Maybe we were both just trying to figure out a way to keep each other alive. Or maybe we were just saying goodbye.

Snow spoke up then, for the first time in a few minutes. His voice was softer than before. But still dark and full of snark. "Well, isn't this cute. Two love birds fighting on behalf of the other. Sounds similar to the arena, doesn't it?"

Gale blinked and turned his head away from me. He wiped at his face quickly and then coughed.

"Personally, I don't see the appeal of either of you two," Snow continued, "but apparently beneath all those layers of melodramatic teenage angst, perhaps there is something you both find appealing in one another."

As the president spoke, I felt the barrel of the gun press into my head even harder than before. Gale's eyes widened just a little and I watched the way his hands tensed up as his sides. He opened his mouth and in that split second, Snow cocked the gun.

"Not another word, Mr. Hawthorne."

Gale snapped his mouth shut. His eyes found mine once again. They were dark and deep and screaming.

"I think I'll kill the girl first, after all. Maybe it's the fact that her father, a mayor that I appointed, thought he could bend the rules. Maybe it's the fact that out of all the tributes, she's always seemed to get on my nerves the most. Her never ending optimism, her unyielding faith to those she loves... it's all a little too much..."

And as he rambled on and on and on, Gale only stared at me, his eyes intensely focused on my own. This was it. The final test. Could we speak to each other without words the way Katniss and Peeta could? Could we communicate across the room when there was a loaded gun to my head?

And just like that, Gale's eyes drifted downward, trailing my body and landing on the pocket of my pants. And then he blinked and his eyes were right back on me. One quick, fleeting look. One so small, the president had probably missed it since he was too busy rattling off the reasons he hated me.

But now I had to figure out what the look had meant.

He had glanced down at the pocket of my pants... but why? What could possibly be in there that could be of use in a situation like thi-

I almost gasped out loud as the realization hit me like a tidal wave.

The knife. My secret weapon.

I nodded my head just a little, just enough for Gale to see. He blinked in response. Slowly, but surely, I inched my arm down my side. I caught a glance of me in the mirror and realized that the president was no longer even looking at me, but at the ground, as he spoke. This was my one chance. This was my one way out. This was me fighting for everything, once and for all.

_Here I go._

I shoved my hand in my pocket and pulled it out. With a click of the button and a hard, forceful swipe backwards, I buried the knife in his side. He groaned and dropped the gun, pulling away from me. I picked it up before he could respond. Pointing it at him with shaky hands and tear filled eyes, I had the advantage. For once in my horrible, pathetic, but all the while magical life, I had the advantage.

"_I'm scared," _I had said to my mother in the justice building after my name was reaped.

"_I know." _She had said,_ "But you're strong. And smart. And brave."_

I held the gun up so it was level with the president's head. He sat there on the floor, gasping and bleeding, his eyes glued to mine. Petrified. He looked petrified. The poison in the knife would kill him, right? That's what I had been told. But... he wasn't dying. Why wasn't he dying?

_I didn't one to have to do this myself. _

I had killed two tributes in the arena. They didn't deserve to die. But this man in front me did. This would be easy, right? Just pull the trigger. Just end it once and for all. Strong. Smart. Brave.

Strong.

I saw the president's wide eyes.

Smart.

His lips started moving but no words were coming out.

Brave.

I think he was _pleading_ with me. He was pleading with me not to kill him.

If I did this, If I killed this man, I would be a hero. I would save the entire country of panem. I would make all those deaths worth something. I would be the true rebel. The one who survived against all the odds.

As I stood there, with a gun pointed at the man who I hated more than anyone else on earth, his words seem to resign in my brain, like the smoke that remains after a house fire.

"_You have spent all your time blurring the lines between us! Think about it, Madge. I kill innocent children. You've killed innocent citizens. Even today, you and the rebels shot my men like it was nothing."_

Did killing this man make me just as bad as him? Did pulling this trigger meant I fought fire with fire instead of just putting out the flame? We had fought for innocence. We had fought for life. We had fought for the killing to end. And here I was, with a gun in my hand, ready to murder not my first, not my second, but my _third _person. I was sixteen. A year ago, I wore frilly dressed and always braided my hair. And now, there I was. My hair unkempt, my face dirty and covered with blood and grime, my eyes wild and ready to make the kill.

I remembered overhearing my father tell my mother once that history always repeats itself. It's a neverending cycle. If I did this, if I killed this man, I was no better than him. I wasn't fighting the darkness. I was becoming the darkness.

Nothing will ever change.

Unless we become the change.

I lowered the gun. The president stared at me. I stared back.

And then, Gale came up behind me.

He took the gun out of my hands and aimed for the Snow's head.

"Gale," I said softly.

He kept the gun aimed at Snow but shifted his eyes so they locked with my own. In a second, I was pulled back in time to the day at the bomb shelter when Gale pointed a gun at my own head, his eyes wild and petrified. He couldn't do it. He couldn't pull the trigger even in his darkest moment. He loved me, yes. But maybe it was more than that. Maybe, even Gale Hawthorne had learned a thing or two in the games. Maybe he had saw the truth behind killing. How it changes you for life. How that blood never washes off your hands. We had every right to kill this man before us.. Every right.

But did that justify it?

Did that make it okay?

Gale could read all of this in my eyes. I knew from the way he started speaking a mile per minute, at the way his voice was practically pleading with me to understand. "Madge, my brother almost died. Because of this man. This man captured me and brainwashed me. He... he made me forget about the games... about _you_! He took everything away from me!" He cried.

I nodded. "I know," I swallowed hard and blinked away my new wave of tears. "But Gale, we're just children. We're kids! And look at us... we're treating murder like it's nothing, like it's as simple as pulling a trigger or blinking an eye..." I turned back to Snow, who was coughing up blood and curled up into a ball on the floor. "We could just make him a prisoner. We... we don't have to kill him."

"Your father." Gale said simply. "Your father, Peeta's parents and brother. Haymitch. Rue and Thresh and all the other tributes. All those deaths... we have to make them mean something."

"We are! By stopping this thing once and for all. I don't wanna be known as the girl who killed the president. I wanna be known as the girl who stopped the president from killing others because that's what's really important here. So, we lock him up. We treat him like a prisoner. Isn't that worse than death anyways?"

Gale shook his head, his tears falling freely down his cheeks. "You're so many things, Madge. You're selfless and brave and kind. And I love you for all of those things, I do. But I can't agree with you on this one. I can't let this monster live."

"Gale," I whimpered. "Please."

He looked at me one last time. His eyes searched my own like they had done a thousand times before. He took a slow breath and mouthed two simple words to me:

_I'm sorry._

And then, he was reaching for the trigger pointed straight at the president. I screamed and hurled myself at Gale as fast as my feet could manage. I slammed into Gale's side just as he pulled the trigger. Together, we fell to the floor in a mess of screams and cries.

* * *

I awoke to a gunshot. My head felt heavy and was _pounding pounding pounding_. I blinked and glanced to the left of me. There was Peeta. He was asleep. Or perhaps passed out. Wait._ Had I been passed out?_

I sat up slowly and saw Kyler was also sprawled out on the ground. It took me a good minute or two to remember everything that had happened and where I was. I was in the President's Mansion. We were on a mission to kill him. Me, Peeta, Kyler and Madge. I looked around slowly. But where was Madge?

I nudged Peeta and then Kyler. Slowly, they both awoke. Groaning, they sat up, holding their heads.

"What's going on?" Kyler asked. "Where the hell did Madge go?"

"I don't know! I don't know!" I cried.

He jumped to his feet and then swore and grabbed onto his head again. He blinked a few times and took in his surroundings. That's when he pointed to the door in front of us. It was slightly open.

"We were going to send Peeta in as a bait, remember? Right before something knocked us out. And if Madge isn't out here with us right now then..."

"Then she must be in there." I finished for him. I stood to my feet and then helped Peeta up. He was in much worse shape since his head had already been bleeding badly. He steadied himself on my shoulder and then together, we walked towards the door. Kyler opened it and we all stepped inside.

The scene that appeared in front of us then was one that I was not prepared for.

The President was surrounded by a pool of blood but still alive.

Madge was laying on the floor sobbing.

And Gale was staring at the wall with wide eyes, a gun in his hand. He turned to us and I watched as tears ran down his own cheeks.

"I... I..." He stuttered on his words.

"What the hell is going on?" I asked.

Madge hiccuped and slowly composed herself. Finally, she stood up and spoke. "We can't kill him. We won't. We are bigger than every mistake this man has made." She pointed at him.

Kyler turned. "Gale?"

Gale blinked quickly and wiped at his face. "I was going to... I was... about to. But Magde stopped me. I shot the wall instead. And..." He blinked again. "I'm glad she did... she's right. We can't do this."

"But," I began, "Wasn't that the entire point of us coming here? Wasn't that what everyone died for? What are we even fighting for if we don't kill him?"

"We're fighting for peace!" Madge said quickly, her arms now folded across her chest confidently. "And this is the only way we can truly obtain it."

"You want this country to think we are _weak_?" I cried.

"This won't make us weak," She said, "This will make us strong!"

I shook my head. "No. No. No!" I stomped my foot, letting the anger rise inside of me. "We did not come this far, we did not lose Haymitch and all the others, only to back down now." I threw my hands in the air wildly. "We cannot let this man overpower us!"

"Katniss," I felt Peeta's hand on my shoulder. "Maybe it's not about power."

I shook it off and turned around to face him, my eyes narrowed. "Oh, this is _all _about power, Peeta. Power is what this man craves and if we don't kill him, we are just letting him know that he can still control us!" I yelled.

"Katniss, this entire cycle of murder will never end if we don't make a change once and for all! What kind of message do you want to send Prim? That murder can be justified?"

I blinked. She had played the Prim card and like she expected, it made me stop and think. I saw her innocent, smiling face. I saw her beautiful, blond hair swaying down her shoulders. She watched my every move, ever since we were little girls playing in the ocean. She looked up to me. She respected me. If I did this...

If I did this, I was just as bad as the bleeding man before me.

I swallowed hard and looked up at Madge. My throat was dry. My head was still throbbing. My entire body was throbbing. I nodded. "You're right. You're all right."

Kyler was the only one who still didn't seem convinced. But it didn't take long. A simple, compassionate look from the girl he loved. He understood then, too. He understood everything.

"So..." Peeta asked. "What happens now?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Snow's voice appeared from below us, husky and drained.

My eyes dragged down to where he laid in the ever growing puddle of his own blood. He was practically gasping for air, his breathing labored and rough. He wasn't so powerful anymore.

"Isn't what obvious?" I found myself asking, although my voice sounded a thousand miles away from myself.

Snow managed a small, creeping smile. And then, something happened that I never expected. Something happened that none of us expected.

But isn't that what my life had become? A series, a never ending string, of the unexpected exploding into my life? Didn't the last 6 months prove that?

Snow whispered into the heavy air. "I will _die_ with power still on my breath." And then, he reached into his pocket and pulled something out. Something small. Something red. Something that appeared to be a button of some kind. And when he went to press his finger down on it's smooth surface, I realized what it was.

A bomb.

I opened my mouth to warn the others but just as the word was leaving my lips, the explosion ran out.

And I was blasted into the air.

* * *

**_A/N: Whew. It never ends does it? Just one more final chapter to wrap it all up and this story will officially be COMPLETE :) And you will want to stick around because at the end of the story I will be posting a sneak peek at my newest fanfiction! It will be Gadge centric and may or may not involve Panem as a Kingdom and Gale Hawthorne as an brooding and mysterious Prince ;) Okay... so it will but... more on that NEXT TIME._**

**_Sorry this took 75 years. I have no excuse. Anyways, how do you think this will end for our little gang? And how about that Gale saving the day? How precious is he? Can I just... bottle him up and save him for a rainy day? NO?_**

**_Anyways, if you could find it in yo heart to comment on this chapter, I WOULD BE FOREVER GRATEFUL. I hope SOMEBODY is still reading at least :)_**

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